The memory of this vision-for，truly，vision it was-did not fade from my mind like many other visions I had already seen，and I searched everywhere for this woman in white so regal in her beauty.
A few days after this，there was a big production at the Opera-Comique.I went along.The first person I saw，in a stage-box in the balcony，was Marguerite Gautier.
The young man I was with recognized her too，for he said，mentioning her by name：
'Take a look at that pretty creature.'
Just then，Marguerite turned her opera glasses in our direction，saw my friend，smiled at him and gestured that he was to come and pay his respects.
'I'll go along and wish her a pleasant evening，'he told me，'I'll be back in a moment.'
I could not help myself saying：'You're a lucky man！'
'In what way？'
'Going to see that woman.'
'Are you in love with her？'
'No，'I said，reddening，for I really did not know how I stood in the matter，'but I would like to get to know her.'
'Come with me，I'll introduce you.'
'Ask her permission first.'
'Oh，nonsense！There's no need to be formal with her.Come on.'
These words of his were hurtful to me.I trembled at the thought that I should learn for certain that Marguerite was not worthy of my feelings for her.
In a book by Alphonse Karr，entitled Ain Rauchen，there is a man who，one evening，follows a very elegant woman with whom he has fallen in love at first sight，so beautiful is she.Merely to kiss the hand of this woman，he feels he has strength enough for any undertaking，the will to conquer all and the courage to do anything.He scarcely dares glance at the slim ankles which she reveals in her efforts to avoid dirtying her dress as it drags on the ground.As he is dreaming of the things he would do to possess her，she stops him at a street corner and asks if he would like to come upstairs with her.
He turns his head away，crosses the street and returns home sadly.
I now remembered this study and I，who would gladly have suffered for her，was afraid that this woman might accept me too quickly and give me too promptly a love which I should have desired to earn through some long delay or great sacrifice.Of such stuff are we men made；and it is fortunate indeed that the imagination indulges the senses with fancies of this kind，and that the desires of the body make such concessions to the dreams of the soul.
So，had someone said to me：'You shall have this woman tonight and tomorrow you shall be put to death'，I would have accepted.Had I been told：'Give her ten Louis and she's yours'，I should have refused and wept like a child who sees the castle which he had glimpsed during the night vanish as he wakes.
However，I wanted to meet her；it was one way，indeed the only way，of knowing how I stood with her.
So I told my friend that I insisted that she should give her permission for him to introduce me，and I loitered in the corridors，reflecting that any moment now she would see me and that I should not know what sort of expression to assume when she looked at me.
I tried to string together in advance the words I would speak to her.
What sublime nonsense love is！
A moment later，my friend came down again.
'She's expecting us，'he said.
'Is she along？'I asked.
'She's with another woman.'
'There aren't any men？'
'No.'
'Let's go.'
My friend made for the theater exit.
'Hold on，it's not that way，'I said to him.
'We're going to buy some sweets.She asked for some.'
We went into a confectioner's in the galleries of the Passage de l'Opera.
I would have gladly bought the whole shop，and was casting round for what could be made into a selection，when my friend said：
'A pound of sugared raisins.'
'Are you sure she likes them？'
'She never eats any other kind of sweets，it's a well-known fact.'
When we were outside，he went on：'Now then.Have you any idea what sort of woman I am about to introduce you to？Don't imagine you'll be meeting a duchess，she's just a kept woman-none more kept，my dear fellow.Don't be shy，just say whatever comes into your head.'
'Er，of course，'I stammered，and followed him，telling myself that I was about to be cured of my passion.
When I stepped into her box，Marguerite was laughing uproariously.
I would have preferred her to be sad.
My friend introduced me.Marguerite inclined her head slightly and said：
'Where are my sweets？'
'Here you are.'
As she took them，she looked straight at me.I lowered my eyes and blushed.
She leaned across，whispered something into her companion's ear，and both of them burst out laughing.
It was only too obvious that I was the cause of their mirth：my embarrassment deepened as a result.At the time，I had as a mistress a little middle-class girl，very loving，very cloying，who made me laugh with her sentimentality and sad billets-doux.I realized how much I must have hurt her by the hurt I now felt and，for the space of five minutes，I loved her as never woman was loved.
Marguerite ate her raisins without paying any further attention to me.
Having introduced me，my friend had no intention of leaving me in this ridiculous position.
'Marguerite，'he said，'you shouldn't be surprised if Monsieur Duval does not speak to you.You have such an effect on him that he cannot think of a thing to say.'
'I rather believe that this gentleman came here with you because you found it tiresome to come alone.'
'Were that true，'I said in turn，'I would not have asked Ernest to obtain your leave to introduce me.'
'Perhaps it was just a way of putting off the fatal moment.'