书城公版camellia girl
22904200000055

第55章

She seemed to be a little calmer during the evening and,motioning me to sit at the foot of her bed,she gave me lengthy,renewed assurances that she loved me.Then she smiled,though it was an effort for her to do so,for despite herself her eyes were masked with tears.

I used every means to make her reveal the real cause of her sorrows,but she stubbornly continued to give me the same vague excuses which I have already mentioned.

In the end,she fell asleep in my arms,but her sleep was the kind which wearies the body instead of giving it rest.From time to time,she would cry out,wake with a start and,after reassuring herself that I was really by her side,would make me swear I would love her always.

I could make nothing of these fits of distress which continues until morning.Then Marguerite lapsed into a sort of torpor.She had not slept now for two nights.

Her rest was short-lived.

About eleven o'clock,Marguerite woke and,seeing that I was up and about,looked around her and exclaimed:

'Are you going already?'

'No,'I said,taking her hands in mine,'but I wanted to let you sleep.It's still early.'

'What time are you going to Paris?'

'Four o'clock.'

'So soon?You'll stay with me till then,won't you?'

'Of course.Don't I always?'

'I'm so glad!'

Then she went on listlessly:'Are we going to have lunch?'

'If you want.'

'And then you'll hold me right up to the moment you go?'

'Yes,and I'll come back as soon as I can.'

'Come back?'she said,staring wild-eyed at me.

'Of course.'

'That's right,you'll come back tonight and I'll be waiting for you,as usual,and you'll love me,and we'll be happy just as we've been since we met.'

These words were said so falteringly,and seemed to hide some painful notion that was so persistent,that I feared for her reason.

'Listen,'I told her,'you're ill,I can't leave you like this.I'll write to my father and say he's not to expect me.'

'No!no!'she exclaimed vehemently,'you mustn't do that.Your father would only accuse me of preventing you from going to him when he wants to see you.No!no!you must go,you must!Besides,I'm not ill,I couldn't be better.I had a bad dream,that's all,I wasn't properly awake.'

From then on,Marguerite tried to appear more cheerful.There were no more tears.

When it was time for me to leave,I kissed her and asked her if she wanted to come with me as far as the station:I hoped that the ride would take her mind off things,and that the air might do her good.

But most of all,I wanted to remain with her as long as possible.

She agreed,put her cloak on and came with me,bringing Nanine so that she would not have to return alone.

A score of times I was on the point of not going.But the hope of returning soon and fear of further antagonizing my father kept my purpose firm,and the train bore me away.

'Until tonight,'I said to Marguerite as I said goodbye.

She did not answer.

Once before she had not answered when I had said those selfsame words,and Count de G,as you will recall,had spent the night with her.But that time was so far off that it seemed to have been erased from my memory.If I had anything to fear,it was assuredly not that Marguerite was deceiving me.