`Stop a bit, stop a bit: we mustn't be in too great a hurry.You must bear in mind, if I put you in a place you're a bit young for, because you happen to be my nephew, I shall be responsible for you.And there's no better reason, you know, than your being my nephew; because it remains to be seen whether you're good for anything.'
`I hope I should never do you any discredit, uncle,' said Tom, hurt, as all boys are at the statement of the unpleasant truth that people feel no ground for trusting them.`I care about my own credit too much for that.'
`Well done, Tom, well done! That's the right spirit, and I never refuse to help anybody, if they've a mind to do themselves justice.There's a young man of two-and-twenty I've got my eye on now - I shall do what Ican for that young man - he's got some pith in him.But then you see he's made good use of his time - a first-rate calculator - can tell you the cubic contents of anything in no time, and put me up the other day to a new market for Swedish bark; he's uncommonly knowing in manufactures, that young fellow.'
`I'd better set about learning book-keeping, hadn't I, uncle?' said Tom, anxious to prove his readiness to exert himself.
`Yes, yes, you can't do amiss there.But...ah, Spence, you're back again.Well, Tom, there's nothing more to be said just now, I think, and I must go to business again.Goodby.Remember me to your mother.'
Mr Deane put out his hand, with an air of friendly dismissal, and Tom had not courage to ask another question, especially in the presence of Mr Spence.So he went out again into the cold damp air.He had to call at his uncle Glegg's about the money in the Savings' Bank, and by the time he set out again, the mist had thickened and he could not see very far before him, but going along River Street again, he was startled when he was within two yards of the projecting side of a shop-window, by the words `Dorlcote Mill' in large letters on a hand-bill, placed as if on purpose to stare at him.It was the catalogue of the sale to take place the next week - it was a reason for hurrying faster out of the town.
Poor Tom formed no visions of the distant future as he made his way homeward; he only felt that the present was very hard.It seemed a wrong towards him that his uncle Deane had no confidence in him - did not see at once that he should acquit himself well, which Tom himself was as certain of as of the daylight.Apparently he, Tom Tulliver, was likely to be held of small account in the world, and for the first time he felt a sinking of heart under the sense that he really was very ignorant and could do very little.Who was that enviable young man, that could tell the cubic contents of things in no time, and make suggestions about Swedish bark?
Swedish bark! Tom had been used to be so entirely satisfied with himself in spite of his breaking down in a demonstration and construing nunc illas promite vires , as `now promise those men:' but now he suddenly felt at a disadvantage, because he knew less than some one else knew.There must be a world of things connected with that Swedish bark, which, if he only knew them, might have helped him to get on.It would have been much easier to make a figure with a spirited horse and a new saddle.
Two hours ago, as Tom was walking to St Ogg's, he saw the distant future before him, as he might have seen a tempting stretch of smooth sandy beach beyond a belt of flinty shingles: he was on the grassy bank then, and thought the shingles might soon be passed.But now his feet were on the sharp stones:
the belt of shingles had widened, and the stretch of sand had dwindled into narrowness.
`What did my uncle Deane say, Tom?' said Maggie, putting her arm through Tom's as he was warming himself rather drearily by the kitchen fire.`Did he say he would give you a situation?'
`No, he didn't say that.He didn't quite promise me anything: he seemed to think I couldn't have a very good situation.I'm too young.'
`But didn't he speak kindly, Tom?'