Maggie turned.But Tancred, the bay horse, began to make such spirited remonstrances against this frequent change of direction, that Stephen, catching sight of Willy Moss peeping through the gate, called out, `Here!
just come and hold my horse for five minutes.'
`O no,' said Maggie, hurriedly, `my aunt will think it so strange.'
`Never mind,' Stephen answered impatiently; `they don't know the people at St Ogg's.Lead him up and down just here, for five minutes,' he added to Willy, who was now close to them; and then he turned to Maggie's side, and they walked on.It was clear that she must go on now.
`Take my arm,' said Stephen, entreatingly; and she took it, feeling all the while as if she were sliding downwards in a nightmare.
`There is no end to this misery,' she began, struggling to repel the influence by speech.`It is wicked - base - ever allowing a word or look that Lucy - that others might not have seen.Think of Lucy.'
`I do think of her - bless her - If I didn't--' Stephen had laid his hand on Maggie's that rested on his arm, and they both felt it difficult to speak.
`And I have other ties,' Maggie went on, at last, with a desperate effort, - `even if Lucy did not exist.'
`You are engaged to Philip Wakem,' said Stephen, hastily.`Is it so?'
`I consider myself engaged to him - I don't mean to marry any one else.
Stephen was silent again until they had turned out of the sun into a side lane, all grassy and sheltered.Then he burst out impetuously, `It is unnatural - it is horrible.Maggie, if you loved me as I love you, we should throw everything else to the winds for the sake of belonging to each other.We should break all these mistaken ties that were made in blindness - and determine to marry each other.'
`I would rather die than fall into that temptation,' said Maggie, with deep, slow distinctness, - all the gathered spiritual force of painful years coming to her aid in this extremity.She drew her arm from his as she spoke.
`Tell me then that you don't care for me,' he said, almost violently.
`Tell me that you love some one else better.'
It darted through Maggie's mind that here was a mode of releasing herself from outward struggle - to tell Stephen that her whole heart was Philip's.
But her lips would not utter that, and she was silent.
`If you do love me, dearest,' said Stephen, gently, taking up her hand again and laying it within his arm, `it is better, it is right that we should marry each other.We can't help the pain it will give.It is come upon us without our seeking: it is natural - it has taken hold of me in spite of every effort I have made to resist it.God knows, I've been trying to be faithful to tacit engagements, and I've only made things worse -I'd better have given way at first.'
`Maggie was silent.If it were not wrong - if she were once convinced of that, and need no longer beat and struggle against this current, soft and yet strong as the summer stream!
`Say "yes," dearest,' said Stephen, leaning to look entreatingly in her face.`What could we care about in the whole world beside, if we belonged to each other?'
Her breath was on his face - his lips were very near hers - but there was a great dread dwelling in his love for her.
Her lips and eyelids quivered - she opened her eyes full on his for an instant, like a lovely wild animal timid and struggling under caresses, and then turned sharp round towards home again.
`And after all,' he went on, in an impatient tone, trying to defeat his own scruples as well as hers, `I am breaking no positive engagement: