书城公版The Relics of General Chasse
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第6章

Having advanced two steps his eye caught mine.I do not know whether he was moved by some unconscious smile on my part;--for in truth I endeavoured to seem as indifferent as himself to the nature of his dress;--or whether he was invincibly tickled by some inward fancy of his own, but suddenly his advancing step ceased, a broad flash of comic humour spread itself over his features, he retreated with his back against the wall, and then burst out into an immoderate roar of loud laughter.

And I--what else could I then do but laugh? He laughed, and Ilaughed.He roared, and I roared.He lifted up his vast legs to view till the rays of the morning sun shone through the window on the bright hues which he displayed; and he did not sit down to his breakfast till he had in every fantastic attitude shown off to the best advantage the red plush of which he had so recently become proud.

An Antwerp private cabriolet on that day reached the yard of the Hotel de Belle Vue at about 4 p.m., and four waiters, in a frenzy of astonishment, saw the Reverend Augustus Horne descend from the vehicle and seek his chamber dressed in the garments which I have described.But I am inclined to think that he never again favoured any of his friends with such a sight.

It was on the next evening after this that I went out to drink tea with two maiden ladies, relatives of mine, who kept a seminary for English girls at Brussels.The Misses Macmanus were very worthy women, and earned their bread in an upright, painstaking manner.Iwould not for worlds have passed through Brussels without paying them this compliment.They were, however, perhaps a little dull, and I was aware that I should not probably meet in their drawing-room many of the fashionable inhabitants of the city.Mr.Horne had declined to accompany me; but in doing so he was good enough to express a warm admiration for the character of my worthy cousins.

The elder Miss Macmanus, in her little note, had informed me that she would have the pleasure of introducing me to a few of my "compatriots." I presumed she meant Englishmen; and as I was in the habit of meeting such every day of my life at home, I cannot say that I was peculiarly elevated by the promise.When, however, Ientered the room, there was no Englishman there;--there was no man of any kind.There were twelve ladies collected together with the view of ****** the evening pass agreeably to me, the single virile being among them all.I felt as though I were a sort of Mohammed in Paradise; but I certainly felt also that the Paradise was none of my own choosing.

In the centre of the amphitheatre which the ladies formed sat the two Misses Macmanus;--there, at least, they sat when they had completed the process of shaking hands with me.To the left of them, ****** one wing of the semicircle, were arranged the five pupils by attending to whom the Misses Macmanus earned their living;and the other wing consisted of the five ladies who had furnished themselves with relics of General Chasse.They were my "compatriots."I was introduced to them all, one after the other; but their names did not abide in my memory one moment.I was thinking too much of the singularity of the adventure, and could not attend to such minutiae.That the red-rosed harpy was Miss Grogram, that Iremembered;--that, I may say, I shall never forget.But whether the motherly lady with the somewhat blowsy hair was Mrs.Jones, or Mrs.

Green, or Mrs.Walker, I cannot now say.The dumpy female with the broad back was always called Aunt Sally by the young ladies.

Too much sugar spoils one's tea; I think I have heard that even prosperity will cloy when it comes in overdoses; and a schoolboy has been known to be overdone with jam.I myself have always been peculiarly attached to ladies' society, and have avoided bachelor parties as things execrable in their very nature.But on this special occasion I felt myself to be that schoolboy;--I was literally overdone with jam.My tea was all sugar, so that I could not drink it.I was one among twelve.What could I do or say? The proportion of alloy was too small to have any effect in changing the nature of the virgin silver, and the conversation became absolutely feminine.

I must confess also that my previous experience as to these compatriots of mine had not prejudiced me in their favour.Iregarded them with,--I am ashamed to say so, seeing that they were ladies,--but almost with loathing.When last I had seen them their occupation had reminded me of some obscene feast of harpies, or almost of ghouls.They had brought down to the verge of desperation the man whom of all men I most venerated.On these accounts I was inclined to be taciturn with reference to them;--and then what could I have to say to the Misses Macmanus's five pupils?

My cousin at first made an effort or two in my favour, but these efforts were fruitless.I soon died away into utter unrecognised insignificance, and the conversation, as I have before said, became feminine.And indeed that horrid Miss Grogram, who was, as it were, the princess of the ghouls, nearly monopolised the whole of it.

Mamma Jones--we will call her Jones for the occasion--put in a word now and then, as did also the elder and more energetic Miss Macmanus.The dumpy lady with the broad back ate tea-cake incessantly; the two daughters looked scornful, as though they were above their company with reference to the five pupils; and the five pupils themselves sat in a row with the utmost propriety, each with her hands crossed on her lap before her.

Of what they were talking at last I became utterly oblivious.They had ignored me, going into realms of muslin, questions of maid-servants, female rights, and cheap under-clothing; and I therefore had ignored them.My mind had gone back to Mr.Horne and his garments.While they spoke of their rights, I was thinking of his wrongs; when they mentioned the price of flannel, I thought of that of broadcloth.