Perhaps Lincoln was right. If you and I had inherited the samephysical， mental， and emotional characteristics that our enemieshave inherited， and if life had done to us what it has done tothem， we would act exactly as they do. We couldn’t possibly doanything else. As Clarence Darrow used to say： “To know all isto understand all， and this leaves no room for judgment andcondemnation.” So instead of hating our enemies， let’s pity themand thank God that life has not made us what they are. Instead ofheaping condemnation and revenge upon our enemies， let’s givethem our understanding， our sympathy， our help， our forgiveness，and our prayers.
I was brought up in a family which read the Scriptures orrepeated a verse from the Bible each night and then knelt downand said “family prayers”。 I can still hear my father， in a lonelyMissouri farmhouse， repeating those words of Jesus—words thatwill continue to be repeated as long as man cherishes his ideals：“Love your enemies， bless them that curse you， do good to themthat hate you， and pray for them which despitefully use you， andpersecute you.”
My father tried to live those words of Jesus; and they gave himan inner peace that the captains and the kings of earth have oftensought for in vain.
To cultivate a mental attitude that will bring you peace andhappiness， remember that Rule 2 is：Let’s never try to get even with our enemies， because if we do wewill hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let’s do as GeneralEisenhower does： let’s never waste a minute thinking about peoplewe don’t like.
Chapter 44
If You Do This， You Will NeverWorry About Ingratitude
I recently met a business man in Texas who was burned upwith indignation. I was warned that he would tell me about itwithin fifteen minutes after I met him. He did. The incident hewas angry about had occurred eleven months previously， but hewas still burned up about it. He couldn’t speak of anything else.
He had given his thirty-four employees ten thousand dollarsin Christmas bonusesapproximately three hundred dollarseach—and no one had thanked him. “I am sorry，” he complainedbitterly， “that I ever gave them a penny！”
“An angry man，” said Confucius， “is always full of poison.”
This man was so full of poison that I honestly pitied him. He wasabout sixty years old. Now， life-insurance companies figure that，on the average， we will live slightly more than two-thirds of thedifference between our present age and eighty. So this man—if hewas lucky—probably had about fourteen or fifteen years to live.
Yet he had already wasted almost one of his few remaining yearsby his bitterness and resentment over an event that was past andgone. I pitied him.
Instead of wallowing in resentment and self-pity， he mighthave asked himself why he didn’t get any appreciation. Maybehe had underpaid and overworked his employees. Maybe theyconsidered a Christmas bonus not a gift， but something they hadearned. Maybe he was so critical and unapproachable that no onedared or cared to thank him. Maybe they felt he gave the bonusbecause most of the profits were going for taxes， anyway.
On the other hand， maybe the employees were selfish， mean，and ill-mannered. Maybe this. Maybe that. I don’t know any moreabout it than you do. But I do know what Dr. Samuel Johnsonsaid： “Gratitude is a fruit of great cultivation. You do not find itamong gross people.”
Here is the point I am trying to make： this man made thehuman and distressing mistake of expecting gratitude. He justdidn’t know human nature.
If you saved a man’s life， would you expect him to be grateful?
You might—but Samuel Leibowitz， who was a famous criminallawyer before he became a judge， saved seventy-eight men fromgoing to the electric chair！ How many of these men， do yousuppose， stopped to thank Samuel Leibowitz， or ever took thetrouble to send him a Christmas card? How many? Guess…
That’s right—none.
Christ healed ten lepers in one afternoon—but how many of thoselepers even stopped to thank Him? Only one. Look it up in SaintLuke. When Christ turned around to His disciples and asked： “Whereare the other nine?” They had all run away. Disappeared withoutthanks！ Let me ask you a question： Why should you and I—or thisbusiness man in Texas—expect more thanks for our small favoursthan was given Jesus Christ?
And when it comes to money matters！ Well， that is evenmore hopeless. Charles Schwab told me that he had once saved abank cashier who had speculated in the stock market with fundsbelonging to the bank. Schwab put up the money to save this manfrom going to the penitentiary. Was the cashier grateful? Oh， yes，for a little while. Then he turned against Schwab and reviled himand denounced him—the very man who had kept him out of jail！
If you gave one of your relatives a million dollars， would youexpect him to be grateful? Andrew Carnegie did just that. But if Andrew Carnegie had come back from the grave a little whilelater， he would have been shocked to find this relative cursinghim！ Why? Because Old Andy had left 365 million dollars topublic charities—and had “cut him off with one measly million，”
as he put it.
That’s how it goes. Human nature has always been humannature—and it probably won’t change in your lifetime. So whynot accept it? Why not be as realistic about it as was old MarcusAurelius， one of the wisest men who ever ruled the Roman Empire.
He wrote in his diary one day： “I am going to meet people todaywho talk too much—people who are selfish， egotistical， ungrateful.
But I won’t be surprised or disturbed， for I couldn’t imagine aworld without such people.” That makes sense， doesn’t it? If youand I go around grumbling about ingratitude， who is to blame? Isit human nature—or is it our ignorance of human nature?
Let’s not expect gratitude. Then， if we get some occasionally，it will come as a delightful surprise. If we don’t get it， we won’t bedisturbed.