造谣学校
The School for Scandal
该剧围绕出身寒微而嫁给老爵士的史妮薇展开故事。史妮薇一心想学贵妇人的派头，却与一群道德败坏、搬弄是非的人为伍，她的家成了一所“造谣学校”。而她自己也几乎失身于伪君子约瑟夫。该剧揭露了英国贵族资产阶级社会的虚伪自私、道德败坏和荒淫无耻。
Act I
Scene I Lady Sneerwell’s House
(Lady Sneerwell at her dressing table with Lappet)
(Miss Verjuice drinking chocolate)
Lady Sneerwell：The Paragraphs，you say，were all inserted?
Verjuice：They were，Madam，and as I copied them myself in a feigned Hand，there can be no suspicion whence they came.
Lady Sneerwell：Did you circulate the Report of Lady Brittle’s intrigue with Captain Boastall?
Verjuice：Madam，by this time Lady Brittle is the talk of half the town，and I doubt not in a week the men will toast her as a demirep.
Lady Sneerwell：What have you done as to the insinuation as to a certain Baronet’s Lady and a certain Cook.
Verjuice：That is in as fine a train as your ladyship could wish. I told the story yesterday to my own maid with directions to communicate it directly to my hairdresser. He I am informed has a brother who courts a Milliners’ Prentice in pallmall whose mistress has a first cousin whose sister is feme de Chambre to Mrs Clackit—so that in the common course of things it must reach Mrs Clackit’s ears within four-and-twenty hours and then，you know，the business is as good as done.
Lady Sneerwell：Why，truly，Mrs Clackit has a very pretty talent，a great deal of industry—yet—yes—been tolerably successful in her way. To my knowledge，she has been the cause of breaking off six matches，of three sons being disinherited and four daughters being turned out of doors，of three several elopements，as many close confinements，nine separate maintenances and two divorces. Nay I have more than once traced her causing a tete-a-tete in the town and country magazine—when the parties perhaps had never seen each other’s faces before in the course of their lives.
Verjuice：She certainly has talents.
Lady Sneerwell：But her manner is gross.
Verjuice：This very true. She generally designs well，has a free tongue and a bold invention；but her colouring is too dark and her outline often extravagant. She wants that delicacy of tint，and mellowness of sneer，which distinguish your Ladyship’s Scandal.
Lady Sneerwell：Ah! You are partial，Verjuice.
Verjuice：Not in the least；everybody allows that lady Sneerwell can do more with a word or a look than many can with the most laboured detail，even when they happen to have a little truth on their side to support it.
Lady Sneerwell：Yes，my dear Verjuice. I am no hypocrite to deny the satisfaction I reap from the success of my efforts. Wounded myself，in the early part of my life，by the envenomed tongue of slander，I confess I have since known no pleasure equal to the reducing others to the level of my own injured reputation.
Verjuice：Nothing can be more natural. But，my dear lady Sneerwell，there is one affair in which you have lately employed me，wherein，I confess I am at a loss to guess your motives.
Lady Sneerwell：I conceive you mean with respect to my neighbour，Sir Peter Teazle，and his family—Lappet. And has my conduct in this matter really appeared to you so mysterious?
Verjuice：Entirely so.
Lady Sneerwell：An old Batchelor as sir Peter was，having taken a young wife from out of the country—as Lady Teazle is—are certainly fair subjects for a little mischievous raillery；but here are two young men，to whom sir Peter has acted as a kind of guardian since their father’s death，the eldest possessing the most amiable character and universally well spoken of，the youngest，the most dissipated and extravagant young fellow in the kingdom，without friends or character—the former one an avowed admirer of yours and apparently your favourite，the latter attached to Maria sir Peter’s ward，and confessedly beloved by her.
Verjuice：Now on the face of these circumstances，it is utterly unaccountable to me，why you，a young widow with no great jointure，should not close with the passion of a man of such character and expectations as Mr Surface；and more so why you should be so uncommonly earnest to destroy the mutual attachment subsisting between his brother Charles and Maria.
Lady Sneerwell：Then at once to unravel this mistery.I must inform you that love has no share whatever in the intercourse between Mr Surface and me.
Verjuice：No!
Lady Sneerwell：His real attachment is to Maria，or her fortune；but finding in his brother a favoured rival，He has been obliged to mask his pretensions，and profit by my assistance.
Verjuice：Yet still I am more puzzled why you should interest yourself in his success.
Lady Sneerwell：Heavens! How dull you are! Cannot you surmise the weakness which I hitherto，thro’ shame have concealed even from you? Must I confess that Charles—that Libertine，that extravagant，that bankrupt in fortune and reputation— that he it is for whom I am thus anxious and malicious and to gain whom I would sacrifice everything.
Verjuice：Now indeed，your conduct appears consistent and I no longer wonder at your enmity to Maria，but how came you and Mr Surface so confidential?
Lady Sneerwell：For our mutual interest—but I have found out him a long time since，altho’ he has contrived to deceive everybody beside. I know him to be artful selfish and malicious—while with sir Peter，and indeed with all his acquaintance，he passes for a youthful miracle of prudence—good sense and benevolence.
Verjuice：Yes yes—I know sir Peter vows he has not his equal in England；and，above all，He praises him as a man of sentiment.
Lady Sneerwell：True and with the assistance of his sentiments and hypocrisy he has brought sir Peter entirely in his interests with respect to Maria and is now I believe attempting to flatter Lady Teazle into the same good opinion towards him—while poor Charles has no friend in the house—though I fear he has a powerful one in Maria’s heart，against whom we must direct our schemes.
Servant：Mr Surface.
Lady Sneerwell：Show him up. He generally calls about this time. I don’t wonder at people’s giving him to me for a lover.
(Enter Surface)
Surface：My dear Lady Sneerwell，how do you do today?
Lady Sneerwell：Verjuice has just been arraigning me on our mutual attachment now；but I have informed her of our real views and the purposes for which our geniuses at present cooperate. You know him how useful he has been to us；and believe me，the confidence is not ill-placed.
Surface：Madam，it is impossible for me to suspect that a wan of Miss Verjuice’s sensibility and discernment—
Lady Sneerwell：Well—well—no compliments now；but tell me when you saw your mistress or what is more material to me，your brother.
Surface：I have not seen either since I saw you—but I can inform you that they are at present at variance—some of your stories have taken good effect on Maria.
Lady Sneerwell：Ah! my dear Surface the merit of this belongs to you. But do your brother’s distresses increase?
Surface：Every hour. I am told he had another execution in his house yesterday—in short his dissipation and extravagance exceed anything I have ever heard of.
Lady Sneerwell：Poor Charles!
Surface：True madam—notwithstanding his vices one can’t help feeling for him—ah poor Charles! I’m sure I wish it was in my power to be of any essential service to him—for the man who does not share in the distresses of a brother—even though merited by his own misconduct—deserves—
Lady Sneerwell：O lud! You are going to be moral，and forget that you are among friends.
Surface：Egad，that’s true—I’ll keep that sentiment till I see sir Peter. However it is certainly a charity to rescue Maria from such a libertine who，if he is to be reclaim’d，can be so only by a person of your ladyship’s superior accomplishments and understanding.
Verjuice：’T be a hazardous experiment.
Surface：But—Madam—let me caution you to place no more confidence in our friend Snake the Libeller. I have lately detected him in frequent conference with old Rowland （Rowley） who was formerly my father’s steward and has never been a friend of mine.
Lady Sneerwell：I’m not disappointed in Snake，I never suspected the fellow to have virtue enough to be faithful even to his own villainy.(Enter Maria) Maria my dear，how do you do，what’s the matter?
Maria：O here is that disagreeable lover of mine，Sir Benjamin Backbite，has just call’d at my guardian’s with his odious uncle Crabtree；so I slipt out and ran hither to avoid them.
Lady Sneerwell：Is that all?
Verjuice：Lady Sneerwell，I’ll go and write the letter I mention’d to you.
Surface：If my brother Charles had been of the party，madam，perhaps you would not have been so much alarmed.
Lady Sneerwell：Nay now—you are severe for I dare swear the truth of the matter is Maria heard you were here；but my dear，what has sir Benjamin done that you should avoid him so?
Maria：Oh he has done nothing—but his conversation is a perpetual libel on all his acquaintance.
Surface：Aye and the worst of it is there is no advantage in not knowing them，for he’ll abuse a stranger just as soon as his best friend—and Crabtree is as bad.
Lady Sneerwell：Nay but we should make allowance；Sir Benjamin is a wit and a poet.
Maria：For my part，I own，madam，wit loses its respect with me，when I see it in company with malice. What do you think，Mr Surface?
Surface：Certainly，Madam，to smile at the jest which plants a thorn on another’s breast is to become a principal in the mischief.
Lady Sneerwell：Pshaw—there’ s no possibility of being witty without a little ill nature—the malice of a good thing is the Barb that makes it stick. —What’s your opinion，Mr Surface?
Surface：Certainly madam—that conversation where the spirit of raillery is suppressed will ever appear tedious and insipid.
Maria：Well I’ll not debate how far scandal may be allowable—but in a man I am sure it is always contemptible. —We have pride，envy，rivalship，and a thousand motives to depreciate each other—but the male-slanderer must have the cowardice of a woman before he can traduce one.
Lady Sneerwell：I wish my cousin Verjuice hadn’t left us—he should embrace you.
Surface：Ah! she’s an old woman and is privileged of course.
(Enter Servant)
Servant：Madam，Mrs Candour is below and if your ladyship’s at leisure will leave her carriage.
Lady Sneerwell：Beg her to walk in. Now，Maria，however here is a character to your taste，for tho’ Mrs Candour is a little talkative；everybody allows her to be the best-natured and best sort of woman.
Maria：Yes with a very gross affectation of good nature and benevolence，she does more mischief than the direct malice of old Crabtree.
Surface：Faith ’tis very true lady Sneerwell. Whenever I hear the current running against the characters of my friends， I never think them in such danger as when Candour undertakes their defence.
Lady Sneerwell：Hush here she is—
(Enter Mrs candour)
Mrs Candour：My dear Lady sneerwell，how have you been this century? I have never seen you tho’I have heard of you very often.—Mr Surface—the world says scandalous things of you—but indeed it is no matter what the world says，for I think one hears nothing else but scandal.
Surface：Just so，indeed，Ma’am.
Mrs Candour：Ah Maria child—what is the whole affair off between you and charles? His extravagance；I presume—The town talks of nothing else—
Maria：I am very sorry，Ma’am，the town has so little to do.
Mrs Candour：True，true，child；but there’s no stopping people’s tongues. I own I was hurt to hear it—as I indeed was to learn from the same quarter that your guardian，sir peter，and lady Teazle have not agreed lately so well as could be wish’d.
Maria：’Tis strangely impertinent for people to busy themselves so.
Mrs Candour：Very true，child；but what’s to be done? People will talk—there’s no preventing it—why it was but yesterday I was told that Miss Gadabout had eloped with Sir Filagree. But，Lord! There is no minding what one hears；tho’ to be sure I had this from very good authority.
Maria：Such reports are highly scandalous.
Mrs Candour：So they are Child—shameful! Shameful! But the world is so censorious no character escapes. Lord，now! Who would have suspected your friend，Miss Prim，of an indiscretion.Yet such is the ill-nature of people，that they say her uncle stopped her last week just as she was stepping into a post chaise with her dancing-master.
Maria： I’ll answer for’t there are no grounds for the report.
Mrs Candour：Oh，no foundation in the world I dare swear；no more probably than for the story circulated last month，of Mrs Festino’s affair with Colonel Cassino—tho’to be sure that matter was never rightly clear’d up.
Surface：The license of invention some people take is monstrous indeed.
Maria：’Tis so but in my opinion，those who report such things are equally culpable.
Mrs Candour：To be sure they are；tale bearers are as bad as the tale makers—’tis an old observation and a very true one—but what’s to be done as I said before—how will you prevent people from talking—today，Mrs Clackitt assured me，Mr and Mrs Honeymoon were at last become mere man and wife—like the rest of their acquaintance—she likewise hinted that a certain widow in the next street had got rid of her dropsy and recovered her shape in a most surprising manner—at the same time Miss Tattle，who was by affirm’d，that Lord Boffalo had discover’d his lady at a house of no extraordinary fame—and that Sir Harry Bouquet and Tom Saunter were to measure swords on a similar provocation，but—Lord! Do you think I would report these things—No，no! Tale bearers as I said before are just as bad as the talemakers.
Surface：Ah! Mrs Candour，if everybody had your forbearance and good nature—
Mrs Candour：I confess，Mr Surface，I cannot bear to hear people traduced behind their backs，and when ugly circumstances come out against our acquaintances I own I always love to think the best—by the way，I hope ’tis not true that your brother is absolutely ruin’d—
Surface：I am afraid his circumstances are very bad indeed，Ma’am—
Mrs Candour：Ah! I heard so—but you must tell him to keep up his spirits—everybody almost is in the same way—Lord Spindle，Sir Thomas Splint，Captain Quinze，and Mr Nickit—all up，I hear，within this week；so，if Charles is undone，he’ll find half his acquaintance ruin’d too，and that，you know，is a consolation—
Surface：Doubtless，Ma’am—a very great one.
(Enter Servant)
Servant：Mr Crabtree and Sir Benjamin Backbite.
Lady Sneerwell：Oh! Maria，you see your lover pursues you—positively you shan’t escape.
(Enter Crabtree and Sir benjamin backbite)
Crabtree：Lady Sneerwell，I kiss your hand. Mrs Candour I don’t believe you are acquainted with my nephew Sir Benjamin Backbite—Egad，Ma’am，he has a pretty wit—and is a pretty poet too isn’t he lady Sneerwell?
Sir Benjamin：O fie，uncle!
Crabtree：Nay egad it’s true—I back him at a rebus or a charade against the best rhymer in the Kingdom—has your ladyship heard the Epigram he wrote last week on Lady Frizzle’s feather catching fire? Do Benjamin repeat it—or the charade you made last night extempore at Mrs Drowzie’s conversazione? Come now；your first is the name of a fish，your second a great naval commander—and…
Sir Benjamin：Dear Uncle—now—prithee—
Crabtree：Efaith，Ma’am—’t would surprise you to hear how ready he is at all these things.
Lady Sneerwell：I wonder，Sir Benjamin，you never publish anything.
Sir Benjamin：To say truth， Ma’am， ’tis very vulgar to print and as my little productions are mostly Satires and Lampoons I find they circulate more by giving copies in confidence to the friends of the parties—however I have some love-elegies，which，when favoured with this lady’s smile I mean to give to the public. (pointing to Maria)
Crabtree：‘Fore Heaven，ma’am，they’ll immortalize you—you’ll be handed down to posterity，like Petrarch’s Laura，or Waller’s Sacharissa.
Sir Benjamin：Yes madam，I think you will like them—when you shall see in a beautiful quarto page how a neat rivulet of text shall meander thro’ a meadow of margin—’fore Gad，they will be the most elegant things of their kind!
Crabtree：But ladies，have you heard the news?
Mrs Candour：What，sir，do you mean the report of—
Crabtree：No ma’am that’s not it. —Miss Nicely is going to be married to her own footman.
Mrs Candour：Impossible!
Crabtree：Ask Sir Benjamin.
Sir Benjamin：’Tis very true，Ma’am—everything is fixed and the wedding livery bespoke.
Crabtree：Yes and they say there were pressing reasons for’t.
Mrs Candour：It cannot be—and I wonder any one should believe such a story of so prudent a lady as Miss Nicely.
Sir Benjamin：O Lud! ma’am，that’s the very reason ’t was believed at once. She has always been so cautious and so reserved，that everybody was sure there was some reasons for it at bottom.
Lady Sneerwell：Yes，a tale of scandal is as fatal to the reputation of a prudent lady of her stamp as a fever is generally to those of the strongest constitutions，but there is a sort of puny sickly reputation，that is always ailing yet will outlive the robuster characters of a hundred prudes.
Sir Benjamin：True，Madam，there are valetudinarians in reputation as well as constitution—who being conscious of their weak part，avoid the least breath of air，and supply their want of stamina by care and circumspection—
Mrs Candour：Well but this may be all mistake—You know，Sir Benjamin very trifling circumstances often give rise to the most injurious tales.
Crabtree：That they do I’ll be sworn Ma’am—did you ever hear how Miss Shepherd came to lose her lover and her character last summer at Tunbridge—Sir Benjamin you remember it—
Sir Benjamin：O to be sure the most whimsical circumstance—
Lady Sneerwell：How was it pray—
Crabtree：Why，one evening，at Mrs Ponto’s assembly，the conversation happened to turn on the difficulty of breeding Nova-Scotia sheep in this country—says a young lady in company“I have known instances of it—for Miss Letitia shepherd，a first cousin of mine，had a Nova-Scotia Sheep that produced her twins.”“What! ”cries the old dowager Lady Dundizzy (Who you know is as deaf as a post)，“has Miss Letitia Shepherd had twins”—This mistake—as you may imagine，threw the whole company into a fit of laughing. However，’t was the next morning everywhere reported and in a few days believed by the whole town，that Miss Letitia Shepherd had actually been brought to bed of a fine boy and girl—and in less than a week there were people who could name the father，and the farm house where the babies were put out to nurse.
Lady Sneerwell：Strange indeed!
Crabtree：Matter of fact，I assure you—O Lud! Mr Surface pray is it true that your uncle Sir Oliver is coming home?
Surface：Not that I know of indeed Sir.
Crabtree：He has been in the East Indies a long time—you can scarcely remember him—I believe—sad comfort on his arrival to hear how your brother has gone on!
Surface：Charles has been imprudent sir to be sure；but I hope no busy people have already prejudiced Sir Oliver against him—He may reform.
Sir Benjamin：To be sure，he may—for my part I never believed him to be so utterly void of principle as people say—and tho’he has lost all his friends I am told nobody is better spoken of—by the Jews.
Crabtree：That’s true egad nephew—if the old Jewry was a ward I believe Charles would be an alderman—no man more popular there，’fore Gad I hear he pays as many annuities as the Irish Tontine and that whenever he’s sick they have prayers for the recovery of his health in the synagogue.
Sir Benjamin：Yet，no man lives in greater splendour：—they tell me when he entertains his friends—He can sit down to dinner with a dozen of his own securities，have a score tradesmen waiting in the Anti-Chamber，and an officer behind every guest’s chair.
Surface：This may be entertainment to you Gentlemen but you pay very little regard to the feelings of a brother.
Maria：Their malice is intolerable—Lady Sneerwell，I must wish you a good morning—I’m not very well.
(Exit Maria)
Mrs Candour：O dear she chang’d colour very much!
Lady Sneerwell：Do Mrs Candour follow her. She may want your assistance.
Mrs Candour：That I will with all my soul ma’am. —Poor dear girl—who knows—what her situation may be!
(Exit Mrs candour)
Lady Sneerwell：’T was nothing but that she could not bear to hear Charles reflected on notwithstanding their difference.
Sir Benjamin：The young Lady’s penchant is obvious.
Crabtree：But Benjamin—you mustn’t give up the pursuit for that—follow her and put her into good humour—repeat her some of your verses—come，I’ll assist you—
Sir Benjamin：Mr Surface I did not mean to hurt you—but depend on’t your brother is utterly undone.
Crabtree：O Lud! aye—undone—as ever man was—can’t raise a guinea.
Sir Benjamin：And everything sold—I’m told—that was movable—
Crabtree：I was at his house—not a thing left but some empty bottles that were overlooked and the family pictures，which I believe are framed in the wainscot.
Sir Benjamin：And I’m very sorry to hear also some bad stories against him.
Crabtree：O，he has done many mean things—that’s certain!
Sir Benjamin：But however as he is your brother—
Crabtree：We’ll tell you all another opportunity.
Lady Sneerwell：Ha! ha! ha! ’tis very hard for them to leave a subject they have not quite run down.
Surface：And I believe the abuse was no more acceptable to your ladyship than Maria.
Lady Sneerwell：I doubt her affections are farther engaged than we imagin’d but the family are to be here this evening so you may as well dine where you are and we shall have an opportunity of observing farther—in the meantime， I’ll go and plot mischief and you shall study sentiments.
第一幕
第一场 史妮薇女士家
（史妮薇女士和女仆拉匹特在她的梳妆台前）
（沃竺思小姐在喝巧克力饮料）
史妮薇女士：你把那些段落都加进去了吗？
沃竺思：都加进去了，女士。我亲自抄的，笔迹都是模仿的，看到那些段落谁也不会怀疑它们的出处。
史妮薇女士：你散播了布丽泰尔小姐跟波斯特尔上尉的绯闻了吗？
沃竺思：夫人，现在大半个镇子都在议论布丽泰尔小姐的事了，我相信用不了一个星期，男人们都会为她这个娼妓干杯了。
史妮薇女士：你是怎么把那位男爵和那位厨师的事偷偷传出去的？
沃竺思：正如夫人您的料想，昨天我把这事和我的女仆说了，也暗示她跟我的理发师交流交流。听说理发师有个兄弟正在追求帕尔莫帽店的一个学徒，那个学徒的女主人有位很近的堂妹，刚好是克拉吉特夫人的女相好。照这样发展下去，用不了二十四小时就会传到克拉吉特太太的耳朵里。那时候，就正如所愿，一切就大功告成了。
史妮薇女士：真的，这个克拉吉特夫人真是个了不起的天才啊！干了一大堆的好事，而且，她办的那点事啊，还挺成功的。据我所知，就因为她，六对恋人分手了，三个儿子被剥夺了继承权，四个女儿被逐出家门，三五个私奔了，还有那么几个给关禁闭了，九家维特分居，两家离婚了。不仅如此，我还多次听说她在镇上和《国家杂志》引起对质，可当时双方还都素昧平生。
沃竺思：在那些方面，她真是个天才。
史妮薇女士：可她太粗俗了。
沃竺思：那倒是真的。她通常盘算得很周全，而且快人快语、大胆创新，可是，色泽太晦暗，轮廓往往太夸张。她的线条不够细致，讥讽的手法也欠圆滑。这才显示出夫人您造谣的水平啊。
史妮薇女士：哈，沃竺思，这倒是真的。
沃竺思：还不止啊。大家都知道，别人即使有事实支持，也得费上九牛二虎之力。而您，史妮薇女士，只需开个口，瞧一眼就行。
史妮薇女士：是啊，亲爱的沃竺思，我可不是伪君子，我不否认能从努力中收获成功，我挺满足的。前半生，在诽谤的毒害中自己也受过伤害。我承认，从我名誉被败坏的那时起，就想把别人都糟蹋得跟我一样，没有什么比这更快乐的了。
沃竺思：这是最自然不过的了。可是我尊敬的史妮薇女士，您最近找我去办的那件差事，老实说，我实在猜不透你的动机何在？
史妮薇女士：你指的是我的邻居——彼德·狄索爵士和他家人，拉匹特吧？这件事上我的表现，让你真的觉得那么神秘？
沃竺思：就是的啊。
史妮薇女士：像彼德·狄索爵士这样的老光棍，从农村娶回来一个年轻的妻子，就是狄索女士，当然是搞恶作剧、开玩笑的好素材了。但是还有两个年轻人，自从他们父亲去世后，彼德·狄索爵士就担起监护人的角色。老大个性温厚，口碑又那么好；那小的呢，是王国里最浪荡放纵的家伙，既没朋友也没气质。前者公开承认拜倒在您的石榴裙下，也显然是您的意中人。小的黏上了玛丽娅，彼德爵士的护士。大家都知道她爱他。
沃竺思：面对这一切，我绝对接受不了，你说你一个没什么遗产的寡妇，为什么就不能热情地靠近像索菲斯先生这样有个性和前途的年轻人呢？更可气的是，为什么你要如此出奇的热心去破坏他弟弟查理和玛丽娅两人之间的感情呢？
史妮薇女士：现在马上给你揭晓答案。我必须告诉你：爱是不能分享的，无论我和索菲斯先生如何交往。
沃竺思：不会吧！
史妮薇女士：他真正爱着的是玛丽娅，或者说是她的财产。可是，当他发现他兄弟是个强劲对手时，只好掩饰企图，靠我的协助。
沃竺思：这，我就更糊涂了，你为什么会对他的成功有那么大的兴趣？
史妮薇女士：天啊！好笨啊你！现如今你都猜不出我的弱点，多丢人啊！要不我怎么连你都隐瞒啊，非要我承认，查尔斯，那个放荡、奢侈、穷困潦倒、声名狼藉的家伙，就是他搞得我心神不宁、耿耿于怀的，为把他搞到手，我愿意牺牲一切。
沃竺思：这么说，你的行为看起来就一致了，我也不再怀疑你对玛丽娅的敌意了。但是你和索菲斯又怎么能如此推心置腹呢？
史妮薇女士：为了我们相互的利益啊，我可已经注意他很久了。他这个人狡猾、自私而且恶毒。简单地说，是个满嘴道德的无赖；布彼德爵士和认识他的人竟然以为他是个谨慎、有良知、心肠慈善的青年楷模。
沃竺思：是的，是的，我知道彼德爵士曾说：英国找不到像他这样的人。而且，最重要的是，他还自诩是个多愁善感的人。
史妮薇女士：真的，在他的多愁善感和伪善的帮助下，他彻底赢得了彼德爵士的欢心和玛丽娅的尊重。我现在相信他又在企图讨好狄索女士对他产生同样的好感。但是，可怜的查尔斯在那家里没有朋友，尽管我害怕他在玛丽娅心中很有分量，我们必须把矛头对准玛丽娅。
仆人：索菲斯先生来了。
史妮薇女士：请他进来。他通常在这个时候来看我。别人把他当做我的情人，我并不觉得奇怪。
（索菲斯上场）
索菲斯：亲爱的史妮薇女士，您今天好吗？
史妮薇女士：沃竺思刚刚还拿我们之间的关系说笑呢。不过，我把我们现在合作的真正意图告诉他了。你知道吗，她对我们会很有帮助的，相信我，信任她是不会错的。
索菲斯：女士，我不可能怀疑像沃竺思小姐这种人的敏感度和洞察力。
史妮薇女士：好啦，好啦，别恭维啦。那告诉我，你看到你情妇怎么样了，要不给我说点更重要的，你兄弟怎么样啊？
索菲斯：自从上次跟您分开以后，我没再碰到他们两人中的任何一位。不过，我可以向您报告，他们也没有再见面。现在您的那些故事已经对玛丽娅起作用了。
史妮薇女士：哈！亲爱的索菲斯，这都归功于你啊。但是你兄弟的悲痛增加了吗？
索菲斯：每时每刻。有人告诉我，昨天他在家里又有所作为了。总之，他的放荡和挥霍真是前所未闻。
史妮薇女士：可怜的查尔斯！
索菲斯：真的，夫人。尽管他坏，可是人们还是不由得要同情他。咳！可怜的查尔斯！我肯定还是希望在我的能力范围之内，能够给予他必要的帮助，尽管我这人不会分担兄弟的悲痛，尽管他是咎由自取，罪有应得。
史妮薇女士：噢，上帝啊！你又开始讲仁义道德了，忘了咱们是一丘之貉了。
索菲斯：哎呀，那是。我还是把这份感情留到见了彼德爵士再说吧。把玛丽娅从这样一个花花公子身边拯救出来，的确是件善事。可他如果要改过向善，也只有仰仗女士您这样出众的才华和见识才行。
沃竺思：那肯定是一番冒险的经历。
索菲斯：但是，女士，我要提醒您一下，不要再把信心放在诽谤者、我们的朋友施奈克身上了。我发现他最近频繁地跟我父亲的老部下老罗利会面。这人可不是我的朋友。
史妮薇女士：我不会对施奈克失望的，我从不怀疑这家伙的品德。这甚至足以让他忠诚于他自己的恶行。（玛丽娅上）我亲爱的玛丽娅，你好啊？有什么事吗？
玛丽娅：噢，又是那个讨人嫌的情人，本杰明·白克贝特。刚才带着他那讨厌的克莱布特里叔叔去拜见我的监护人了，我就溜出来，跑到这里来避一避。
史妮薇女士：就这样吗？
沃竺思：史妮薇女士，我要去写刚跟你提过的信了。
索菲斯：女士，如果我兄弟能在这里，也许你就不会这么惊惶了。
史妮薇女士：现在不用了。你这话太苛刻了，我敢打赌，实际是，玛丽娅听到你在这里啊。亲爱的，本杰明爵士对你做了什么，让你这么回避他？
玛丽娅：噢，他也没做啥，就是总说些诽谤熟人的话。
索菲斯：是啊，最好是不听，一点儿好处也没有。即便是他最好的朋友都侮辱，何况是陌生人呢，克莱布特里也好不到哪里去。
史妮薇女士：不好，不过我们也该宽容些，本杰明爵士很聪明，还是位诗人。
玛丽娅：对我来说，作为女人，聪明一旦和怨恨联系在一起，就失去我对它的尊重。你怎么看，索菲斯先生？
索菲斯：当然了，女士，对于刺在别人心上的笑话给予附和的微笑，就成了恶意中伤的主谋。
史妮薇女士：哼，光有智慧没有个性是不可能的，精妙的阴谋就像倒刺，捅得深，扎挂得也牢。你说呢，索菲斯先生？
索菲斯：当然了，女士，话中剔除了挖苦的味道，气氛难免沉闷乏味。
玛丽娅：好。我不想讨论造谣到什么程度才可容忍，但是我相信造谣在人身上总是可鄙的。我们有傲慢、嫉妒、抗争、还有上千个理由去贬低对方，但是男性造谣中伤者在造谣生事前，也必定像女人一样的怯懦。
史妮薇女士：我希望我堂妹沃竺思没走，她会拥抱你的。
索菲斯：啊！她是位老处女，当然也是有特权的。
（仆人上）
仆人：夫人，康德尔夫人在下面呢，如果夫人您方便的话，她就下车进来坐一会儿。
史妮薇女士：请她进来吧。玛丽娅，这回有对你脾气的了吧？尽管康德尔夫人有点多嘴，大家都认为她是最温厚的那类好女人。
玛丽娅：是啊，跟老克莱布特里直白的伤害相比。她貌似的温厚和仁慈的恶意把人伤害得更厉害。
索菲斯：坦白地说，真是这样，史妮薇女士，如今我听我朋友说不少人都是这样的个性，当坎朵儿在为他们辩护时，我从没有想到他们是这么危险。
史妮薇女士：嘘，她来了——
（康德尔夫人上）
康德尔夫人：亲爱的史妮薇女士，好久不见了，尽管经常听人谈起你，你过得怎么样？索菲斯先生，到处都是你的流言蜚语呢，没什么大不了的，因为我觉得我们听到的不外乎是些丑闻。
索菲斯：真是如此，夫人。
康德尔夫人：啊，玛丽娅，我的孩子。你跟查尔斯到底是怎么回事？我想，镇上人议论的就是他的挥霍无度吧。
玛丽娅：真抱歉，夫人，镇子上的人真是吃饱了撑的。
康德尔夫人：真的，真是这样，孩子。别人的嘴巴是封不住的。我承认，我是伤透了心了，因为我真的从那里听说你的监护人，彼德爵士和狄索女士最近也处得不如想象得那么和谐。
玛丽娅：大家这么爱管闲事，实在岂有此理。
康德尔夫人：就是的，孩子。但是又能怎样呢？别人要说，也无法阻止。就在昨天，我怎么听说盖德波特小姐跟菲拉格里·菲勒特爵士私奔了。哎呀！听听就算了，不过这消息的来源确实可靠。
玛丽娅：这些消息肯定是流言。
康德尔夫人：所以啊，他们就像小孩子一样不讲究。但世人就是这么爱搬弄是非，无人幸免。天哪，谁会怀疑你的朋友——普利姆小姐会有轻浮的举动啊。可是人的本性就是这么坏，他们说上个星期就在她要跟她的跳舞教练乘上马车时，她叔叔拦住了她。
玛丽娅：我敢说，这种谣言是毫无根据的。
康德尔夫人：噢，我敢说这世界上没有有根据的事。再没有比上个月流传的法斯狄诺夫人跟卡西诺上校的绯闻更离奇的了。这事还有待澄清。
索菲斯：有些人肆意造谣，实在可恶。
玛丽娅：要我看，那些传播消息的人也该受到谴责。
康德尔夫人：是该谴责他们。谣言的传播者跟制造者一样坏。这是一句俗话，也是一句真切的话。可是，就像我早先说的。你怎能避免别人说三道四呢。今天克拉吉特夫人告诉我，哈尼姆恩夫妇，跟他们认识的人一样，终于结为夫妻。她还暗示说，隔街的一位寡妇治好了水肿，用非常惊人的方式恢复了原型。苔特永小姐就在一旁，她证实，鲍费罗阁下发现他的女人在一所没什么名望的房子里。哈利·布克爵士和汤姆·索思特也因受了类似刺激准备去比剑决斗。但是，天哪！我说这些事啊，你们会怎么看我啊，不！不！就像我说过的，谣言的传播者跟制造者一样坏。
索菲斯：啊！康德尔夫人，要是每个人都跟您一样自制和善良就好了。
康德尔夫人：我承认，索菲斯先生，我无法容忍背后中伤人。要是有人传我熟人的恶言恶语，我总往好处想。顺便说一下，你弟弟非常堕落的话不是真的吧？
索菲斯：我担心他的情况可能真的会很糟，夫人。
康德尔夫人：啊！我听说是的。可是，你一定要叫他振作起来。每个人的处境几乎都相同，像斯宾德尔阁下、托马斯·斯普林特爵士、奎恩兹上尉，还有尼克特先生都经历过。光这个星期，我就听到了这么多。要是查尔斯垮了，他会发现他有一半熟人也都毁了。要知道，那样会使他心里好受些。
索菲斯：毫无疑问，夫人，真是千真万确。
（仆人上)
仆人：克莱布特里先生和本杰明·白克贝特爵士来了。
史妮薇女士：噢！玛丽娅，看啊，你情人都追到这儿来了。这回你可逃不掉了。
（克莱布特里先生和本杰明·白克贝特爵士上）
克莱布特里：史妮薇女士，请允许我吻您的手。康德尔夫人，我看您不认识我侄子本杰明·白克贝特爵士吧。夫人！他非常聪明，是个出色的诗人，对吧，史妮薇女士？
本杰明爵士：呸！叔叔！
克莱布特里：哎哟，是真的。我曾经在猜画谜，还是写字谜比赛的场合支持他跟全国的押韵高手过招。夫人，您听说上周他以弗莉锁女士的羽饰着火为题写了一首讽刺短诗吗？本杰明重复一遍，要不说说你昨晚在德鲁茨聚会上即兴的手势谜也行。来吧，先来个鱼的名称，再来个伟大的海军总司令，还有……
本杰明爵士：亲爱的叔叔，求你了。
克莱布特里：的确，夫人，您听到会吃惊的，这方面，他才思敏捷。
史妮薇女士：我想本杰明爵士的诗还从没出版过吧？
本杰明爵士：说真的，夫人，出版了就俗了。并且，由于拙著大半是针对特定人物而写的讽刺诗和打油诗，我觉得在聚会时私下发给亲朋好友看看，会流传得更广些。不过，我有一些爱情哀歌，如果这位小姐肯报以微笑，我也愿意公诸于众。（朝向玛丽娅）
克莱布特里：老天啊，夫人，这会让您永垂不朽的。您会像彼特拉克笔下的劳拉或沃勒笔下的萨卡里莎一样流芳百世的。
本杰明爵士：是的，夫人，您会喜欢的。您在精美的四开本上看到，整洁的文字像溪水般顺着沃野的岸缘蜿蜒地潺潺流过。上帝啊，那会是诗歌里最雅致的部分！
克莱布特里：可是，女士们，你们知道吗？
康德尔夫人：什么，先生，你说的是……
克莱布特里：没啥，夫人，也没什么的。奈思丽小姐要下嫁给跟班的事。
康德尔夫人：不可能！
克莱布特里：你问本杰明爵士。
本杰明爵士：是真的，夫人。一切都已定下来了，结婚礼服也订制好了。
克莱布特里：是啊，据说还有紧迫的理由呢。
康德尔夫人：不会吧，我怀疑谁会相信奈思丽小姐这么谨慎的人会做这种事。
本杰明爵士：噢，天啊，夫人，这才是让人立刻就相信的理由。她是那么谨慎、那么保守，所以大家都确定到底还是有理由的。
史妮薇女士：哎哟，说真的，瞎编的谣言对她这种谨言慎行的人来说，就如同热病对体格强壮的人一样致命。和一百个假正经的女人相比，有些人的声誉就像体制弱的人，越是生病，越是能抗过精力旺盛、体质健壮的人。
本杰明爵士：真是的，夫人，有些人生怕名誉受损就像怕知道自己身体有弱点的人一样，尽量避免风吹草动，而以细心照料来补给所需的活力。
康德尔夫人：哦，可是这也许全是错的。本杰明爵士，您可知道：芝麻小事往往变成最具杀伤力的谣言。
克莱布特里：我发誓，夫人，是那么回事。您听说过塞博尔德小姐是怎么失去她的情人的吗？她去年夏天在特恩布里奇的什么性格吗？本杰明爵士你还记得吧。
本杰明爵士：噢，——那真是一桩最古怪不过的事了。
史妮薇女士：请问，是怎么了？
克莱布特里：说什么有个晚上在潘桃太太家中聚会的时候，话题凑巧转到国内新英格兰绵羊生产的事。在场的一位年轻女士说：“我知道一些实例，因为我一位堂妹莉缇迪雅·派普小姐养的一头新苏格兰绵羊，一胎生了两头。”“什么”道尔杰·邓迪吉女士失声叫道（你们知道她是个很重听的人）：“派普小姐生了双胞胎？”你们可以想象得到，这种误会当场就引起了哄堂大笑。可是，就在第二天早上，这件事到处传扬；没过几天，全城的人都以为莉缇迪雅。派普小姐真的生了一对漂亮的双胞胎；不到一个星期，就有人叫出了孩子的父亲，还说孩子交给护士寄养在一个农场的房子里。
史妮薇女士：太奇妙了！
克莱布特里：千真万确，我向你保证。哎哟！索菲斯先生，听说你叔叔奥里弗爵士要回来了，是真的吗？
索菲斯：我真的不知道，爵士。
克莱布特里：他在东印度群岛很长时间了，你根本不记得他。我相信，要是光听听他弟弟干的那点事，就够他难过的了。
索菲斯：查尔斯是鲁莽，真的，不过，我倒希望好管闲事的人不要使奥里弗爵士对他存有偏见。他会改过自新的。
本杰明爵士：他真的可以。就我而言，我决不相信他像人们说的那样完全有原则，尽管失去了所有朋友，我听说，犹太人倒是对他颇有好评。
克莱布特里：哎呀，侄子，就是那么回事。如果旧犹太区自称一区，我相信查尔斯会当上参议员的，那儿没有人比他更吃得开了。皇天在上！听说他付的年金跟爱尔兰唐缇养老金一样多，所以他一生病，所有的犹太会堂都为他的康复祈祷。
本杰明爵士：没人生活得比他更滋润得了。他们告诉我，为了让朋友开心，他可以跟他自己的一打警卫一块吃饭，让二十名商人在众议院恭候，每位客人后面还恭候一位监守员。
索菲斯：先生们，对你们来说这是消遣，但你根本没有顾及我兄弟的感受。
玛丽娅：他们如此恶言恶语，实在令人难忍——史妮薇夫人，我祝你度过个愉快的上午，我不舒服。（下）
康德尔夫人：噢，亲爱的，她脸色变得好难看。
史妮薇女士：康德尔夫人跟着她，她可能需要帮助。
康德尔夫人：我会尽力的，夫人。可怜的姑娘，谁晓得她的状况会怎样。
（康德尔夫人下）
史妮薇女士：她只是不能忍受别人说查尔斯的坏话。
本杰明爵士：这位小姐的好恶显然可见。
克莱布特里：但是，本杰明，你不能就这么放弃啊，跟上去，讨她高兴。给她朗诵些你的诗句，要不，我帮你。
本杰明爵士：索菲斯先生，我没想伤害你，要真靠你弟弟的本事是不行的。
克莱布特里：天啊，是的，是不行啊。哪个男人……连个几尼都攒不住啊？
本杰明爵士：都卖了，据说全变卖光了。
克莱布特里：我在他家看到，除了些没人要的空瓶子和镶在墙上的家族画像，一无所有。
本杰明爵士：很遗憾的是，我还听到了一些对他不利的传言。
克莱布特里：哦，他干了许多卑鄙的事，那是毋庸置疑的。
本杰明爵士：但怎么说也是你弟弟啊。
克莱布特里：以后有机会再详谈吧。
史妮薇女士：哈！哈！哈！要让他们话没说完就走可真难啊。
索菲斯：我相信这些坏话对您和玛丽娅来说都同样不快。
史妮薇女士：我相信她比我们想象得还痴情。不过，这家人今晚要来这儿，所以你不妨就在这儿用餐，而我们也有机会进一步观察。与此同时，我要去策划策划，而你，酝酿一下感情。
作者介绍
理查德·布林斯莱·谢里丹（Richard Brinsley Sheridan）是18世纪后期英国最有成就的喜剧剧作家，同时也是演说家、政治家。他出生于爱尔兰的都柏林，但从小生活在英国。谢里丹的喜剧冲突尖锐、讽刺辛辣，而且经常穿插生动有趣的情节及令人发笑的场面，对话漂亮俏皮，迄今仍保持着舞台生命力。
核心单词
demirep [5demirep] n. 下流女人
extravagant [iks5trAvE^Ent] adj. 奢侈的；浪费的
motive [5mEutiv] n. 动机；主旨；目的
intercourse [5intE(:)kC:s] n.往来；交往；交际
charity [5tFAriti] n. 慈悲，仁爱
名句诵读
Did you circulate the Report of Lady Brittle’s intrigue with Captain Boastall?
你散播了布丽泰尔小姐跟波斯特尔上尉的绯闻了吗？
An old Batchelor as sir Peter was，having taken a young wife from out of the country—as Lady Teazle is—are certainly fair subjects for a little mischievous raillery.
像彼德·狄索爵士这样的老光棍，从农村娶回来一个年轻的妻子，就是狄索女士，当然是搞恶作剧、开玩笑的好素材了。