THE CANT OF CRITICISM
LAURENCE STERNE，who lived from 1713to 1768，was an English author，of wit and pathos，but of very eccentric character.His writings abound in beauties，but are disgraced by indelicacies.
The names in the 5th paragraph are those of celebrated painters.Corregiescity is a word made for the idea.
1.AND how did Garrick speak the soliloquy last night？
Against all rule，my lord；most ungrammatically！Betwixt the substantive and adjective，（which should agree together，in number，case，and gender，）he made a breach，thus，-stopping as if the point wanted settling.And after the nominative case，（which，your lordship knows，should govern the verb，）he suspended his voice in the epilogue a dozen times，three seconds and three-fifths，by a stop-watch，my lord，each time.
2.Admirable grammarian！But in suspending his voice，was the sense suspended likewise？Did no expression of attitude or countenance fill up the chasm？Was the eye silent？Did you narrowly look？
3.Excellent observer！And what of this new book the whole worldmakes such a rout about？
Oh！‘tis out of all plumb，my lord，quite an irregular thing！not oneof the angles at the four corners was a right angle.I had my rule and compasses，my lord，in my pocket.
4.And，for the epic poem your lordship bid me look at，upon taking the length，breadth，highth，and depth of it，and trying them at home upon an exact scale of Bossu’s，‘tis out，my lord，in every one of its dimensions.
5.Admirable connoisseur！And did you step in to take a look at thegrand picture，in your way back？
Tis a melancholy daub，my lord；not one principle of the pyramid in any one group！And what a price，for there is nothing of the coloring of Titian，the expression of Rubens，the grace of Raphael，the purity of Dominichino，the corregiescity of Corregio，the learning of Poussin，the airs of Guido，the taste of the Garrichis，or the grand contour of Angelo.
6.Grant me patience！Of all the cants which are canted in this canting world，the cant of criticism is the most tormenting.I would go fifty miles on foot，to kiss the hand of that man whose generous heart will give up the reins of his imagination into his author‘s hands，be pleased，he knows not why and cares not wherefore.
（FROM STERNE ）
中文阅读
劳伦斯·斯特恩（1713-1768），英国作家，文风以睿智和凄楚见长，但他本人性格古怪。他的作品中充满大量美学内容，但也因包含粗俗内容而饱受诟病。
本文第五自然段中提到的是几位著名画家的名字。Corregiescity意为“思想”。
1.加里克昨天晚上是怎么自言自语的？
哦，我的勋爵，不符合所有的语法和规则！名词和形容词间（它们之间的数，格和阴阳性要一致），他做了停顿，就像是那里应该要停顿似的。在主格后面，（勋爵你是知道的，主格后面要支配动词）他每次都要提高声调，三秒多一次，做一个停顿，我的勋爵啊，每次都是如此。
2.真是个令人钦佩的语法家。不过在他提高语调的时候，他的意识是不是也跟着提高了呢？难道没有态度或表情来弥补这个空当？眼神会不会黯淡下去？你仔细观察了吗？
我的勋爵，我只看到停顿。
3.做一个卓越的观察者。是什么让这本新书一败涂地的呢？哦！没有一个地方是垂直的，我的勋爵，多么不规则的东西啊！四个角没有一个是直角形的。我的口袋里有尺子和指南针。真是不错的批评。
4.至于史诗，您吩咐我要注意它的长度、节奏、题目，还有深度。在家中要试着读出来。
5.做一个优秀的鉴赏家！在回去的路上，有没有欣赏一下壮美的画卷呢？这是多么忧郁的一抹。每一组用的不止是一种原则。那提香的用色、鲁本斯的人物表情、拉斐尔的优雅、多梅尼科的纯洁、柯勒乔的思想、普桑的学识、圭多的风姿、贾里奇斯的品位以及安琪罗雄壮的轮廓，这些都不是用钱能够衡量的。
6.请允许我的耐心。在这样一个隐语充斥的世界，来解释批判的隐语确实是很折磨人的。我将要步行五十英里，去亲吻那双手。这双手的主人心地善良，愉快地把他的想象力传达到了他的作者手中。他心情愉悦，不明缘由，不问何因。
（斯特恩）