Give, give, give—what is the point of having experience, knowledge or talent if I don’t give it away? Of having stories if I don’t tell them to others? Of having wealth if I don’t share it? I don’t intend to be cremated with any of it! It is in giving that I connect with others, with the world and with the divine.
It is in giving that I feel the spirit of my daughter inside me, like a soft presence.
我总是生活在激情和匆忙之中,想做太多的事。直到我28岁的女儿保拉病倒,我才抽出时间去思考我的信仰。她昏迷了整整一年,我在家照料她,直到1992年12月,她在我怀中死去。
在那一年的痛苦和接下来整整一年的悲恸中,我生活中的一切都停止了。我什么都不做——只是哭泣和回忆。然而,这一年也使我得以回顾走过的人生,思考那些支撑我的信念。我发现我的信念原则、我的作品风格和我的生活方式是一贯的。我没有改变,我仍然是五十年前那个女孩,仍然是七十年代那个姑娘。我仍然渴望真正的生活,仍然保持极端的独立,仍然追求正义,仍然轻易地陷入热恋之中。
瘫痪在床、昏迷不醒的女儿教会我并使我坚信的是:给予什么,就拥有什么。只有付出才能使人富有。
女儿的一生都在付出。她是一个帮助妇女和儿童的志愿者,风雨无阻。她没有多少收入,但她所求甚少。在她去世的时候,一无所有,她也一无所求。在她卧床期间,我眼睁睁地看着她的一切都离我远去:她的笑貌,她的音容,她的婉约,她的娇美,她的陪伴,甚至她的灵魂。当她去世的时候,我以为我已经一无所有了。可是后来我意识到,我仍然拥有我给予她的爱。我甚至不知道那个时候她能否感受到我的爱。她无法作出任何反应,她的双眼就像浑浊的水潭,没有一丝光泽。但我心中充满了爱,这种爱生生不息,开花结果。
失去爱女之痛对我而言是一种净化。我必须剔除那些无谓的累赘,留下生命的精髓。因为女儿,我不再是那个什么事情都放不下的人。如今,我希望给予甚于受赠。爱人比被爱更让我欣喜。我爱丈夫,爱儿子,爱孙子,爱母亲,爱我的狗。说实话,我甚至不知道他们是不是喜欢我。但我不在乎,爱他们我就很开心。
给予,给予,给予——如果不彰显,那些经验、学识和天赋有何意义?如果不讲述,那些经历过的故事有何意义?如果不分享,那些财富又有何意义?我可不打算将这些带进棺材。在给予中,我与他人紧紧相连,与世界紧紧相连,与上帝紧紧相连。
在给予中,我仿佛感到女儿的灵魂悄悄地醒来,与我紧紧相连。
Who You Love你爱的是谁
Jim was waiting for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn’t, the girl with the rose.
“You’ll recognize me,” she wrote, “by the red rose I’ll be wearing on my lapel.” So he was looking for the girl with the red rose.
A young woman in a green suit was coming toward him, her figure long and slim and her eyes were blue as flowers. Almost uncontrollably he made one step closer to her, and just at this moment he saw Hollis Maynell—a woman well past 40. The girl was walking quickly away. He felt as though he split in two, so keen was his desire to follow her, and yet so deep was his longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned him and upheld his own.
He did not hesitate. He squared his shoulders and said, “I’m John, and you must be Miss Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me; may I take you to dinner?”
The woman smiled, “I don’t know what this is about, son,” she answered, “but the young lady in the green suit begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should tell you that she is waiting for you in the restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!”
It’s not difficult to admire Miss Maynell’s wisdom. The true nature of a heart is seen in it’s response to the unattractive.
吉姆正在等一个带着玫瑰花的女孩,他和她深交已久,却素未谋面。
“你会认出我的,”她写道,“我会把一朵红玫瑰别在衣领上。”所以他就在车站寻找那位带着红玫瑰的女孩。
一位身穿绿色衣服的年轻女子向他走来,她身材修长而苗条,眼睛蓝蓝的,美如鲜花。他几乎是不由自主地向她走近。就在那时,他看见了——哈里斯·玛尼尔——一位年过40的女人。女孩很快地走开了。他感觉自己好像被分裂成了两半——他是多么强烈地想跟随这位年轻女子,然而又是如此深深地向往这位在心灵上陪伴他,鼓舞他的女人。
他没有迟疑,挺起胸膛,说道,“我是约翰,你一定是玛尼尔小姐吧。我很高兴你来和我相见,我能请你吃饭吗?”
女人笑了笑,回答说:“孩子,我不知道这是怎么回事,但是那位穿绿衣的年轻女子请求我把这朵玫瑰别在我的外套上面。她说如果你邀请我吃饭的话,我就告诉你她在马路对面的餐厅等你。她说这是一种考验!”
玛尼尔小姐的智慧让人敬佩。一个人对那些平淡无奇的事物的表现恰恰反映出他内心的本质。
The Ideals Of Love理想的爱
Love is often nothing but a favorable exchange between two people who get the most of what they can expect, considering their value on the personality market.
Immature love says “I love you because I need you.” Mature love says “I need you because I love you.” Let your mind start a journey thru a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you know before. Let your soul take you where you long to be… Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar, and you’ll live as you’ve never lived before.
As long as anyone believes that his ideal and purpose is outside him, that it is above the clouds, in the past or in the future, he will go outside himself and seek fulfillment where is cannot be found. He will look for solutions and answers at every point except where they can be found in himself.
The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal.
There is no meaning to life except the meaning man gives to his life by unfolding of his powers.
Not be who has is rich, but he who gives much.
There can be no real freedom without the freedom to fail.
They only truly affluent are those who do not want more than they have.
Love is not primarily a relationship to a specific person; it is an attitude, an orientation of character which determines the relatedness of a person to the world as a whole, not towards on ‘object’ of love.
爱是两个人之间欢娱的交流。他们有着共通的价值观念,他们从对方那里得到了他们期望得到的东西。
不成熟的爱人说:“我爱你,因为我需要你。”成熟的爱人说:“我需要你,因为我爱你。”让你的思绪在一个全新的世界里遨游,将你以前所拥有的思想完全抛弃,放飞你的心灵,你将会发现一个和你以前生活的世界完全不同的世界。
只要有人相信他的目标是存在于他自身之外的,或许是虚幻的,或许是过去或将来,他就会到他自身之外去寻找其实现手段,那样肯定是徒劳的。他会尽他所能,到处寻找,然而唯一的办法是——从他自身去寻找到所有的答案。
成者为王,败者为寇。
只有当人们完全释放出自己的能量,这样的生活才有意义。
人们有多富并不重要,重要的是他能奉献多少。
若没有失败的自由,世界就不会有真正的自由。
那些不去奢望得到比他们所拥有更多的人才是真正的富人。
爱不仅仅是对某一个人的关切,它是一种态度,一种方向,一种把全世界都作为一个整体来关心的定位,而不是只对于某一特定“物体”的爱。
The Last Leaf 最后一片绿叶
In a little district west of Washington Square the streets have run crazy and broken themselves into small strips called “places.” These “places” make strange angles and curves. One Street crosses itself a time or two. An artist once discovered a valuable possibility in this street. Suppose a collector with a bill for paints, paper and canvas should, in traversing this route, suddenly meet himself coming back, without a cent having been paid on account!