The Essence of Happiness
佚名 / Anonymous
I live in the land of Disney, Hollywood and year round sun. You may think people in such a glamorous, fun filled place are happier than others. If so, you have some mistakes about the nature of happiness.
Many intelligent people still equate happiness with fun. The truth is that fun and happiness have little or nothing in common. Fun is what we experience during an act. Happiness is what we experience after an act. It is deeper, more abiding emotion.
The way people cling to the belief that a fun filled, pain free life equals happiness actually diminishes their chances of ever attaining real happiness. If fun and pleasure are equated with happiness, then pain must be equated with unhappiness. But in fact, the opposite is true: More times than not, things that lead to happiness involve some pain.
As a result, many people avoid the very endeavors that are the source of tree happiness. They fear the pain inevitably brought by such things as marriage, raising children, professional achievement, religious commitment, civic or charitable work, and self-improvement.
Ask a bachelor why he resists marriage even though he finds dating to be less and less satisfying. If he’s honest, he will tell you that he is afraid of making a commitment. For commitment is in fact quite painful. The single life is filled with fun, adventure, excitement. Marriage has such movement, but they are not its most distinguishing features.
Similarly, couples who choose not to have children are deciding in favor of painless fun over painful happiness. They can dine out whenever they want, travel wherever they want and sleep as late as they want. Couples with infant children are lucky to get a whole night’s sleep or a three-day vacation. I don’t know any parents would choose the word fun to describe raising children.
But couples who decide not to have children never experience the pleasure of hugging them or tucking them into bed at night. They never know the joy of watching a child grow up or of playing with a grandchild.
But these forms of fun do not contribute in any way to my happiness. More difficult endeavors—writing, raising children, creating deep relationship with my wife, trying to do good in the world—will bring me more happiness than can ever be found in fun, that least permanent things.
Understanding and accepting that true happiness has nothing to do with fun is one of the most liberating realizations we can ever come to. It liberates time: now we can devote more hours to activities that can genuinely increase our happiness. It liberates money: buying that new car or those fancy clothes that will do nothing to increase our happiness now seems pointless. And it liberates us from envy: we now understand that all those rich and glamorous people we were so sure are happy because they are always having so much fun actually may not be happy at all.
The moment we understand that fun does not bring happiness, we began to lead our lives differently. The effect can be, quite literally, life transforming.
我住在好莱坞迪斯尼乐园，那里全年阳光普照。你可能认为生活在那么富于魅力，充满乐趣的地方，一定比其他地方的人更幸福。如果这么想，你可能对幸福的真谛有些误解。
很多聪明的人仍将幸福等同于乐趣。其实，乐趣和幸福的共同之处极少，或者说根本就没有。乐趣是行为过程中的感受，而幸福是我们行为过后的感受，它是一种更为深刻、持久的感情。
人们坚信充满欢乐，远离痛苦的生活方式就等于幸福。实际上，这样反而减少了他们获得真正幸福的机会。如果欢乐和愉快等同幸福，那痛苦就等同不幸。其实恰恰相反，多数情况下，能带来幸福的事物往往包含诸多痛苦。
所以说，许多人所逃避的艰难困苦恰恰是真正幸福的源泉。这些人害怕那些必定会带来痛苦的事情，如结婚、抚养子女、提高专业技能、承担宗教义务、社会服务或慈善事业，提升自我等。
尽管一个单身者对约会越来越不感兴趣，但当你问他为什么还不想结婚时，如果他很诚实，就会告诉你，他怕承担责任。因为承担责任确实是一件痛苦的事情。独身生活充满着乐趣、冒险和激情。婚姻虽也有如此体验，却大为逊色。
同样，选择不要孩子的夫妻都有一种观点，即宁可要不痛苦的欢乐，也不要痛苦的幸福。他们可以随时出去吃饭、旅游，想睡到多晚就睡多晚。而有孩子的夫妻，睡上一整晚，或有三天假期，算是幸运的了。我想，任何夫妇都不会用“乐趣”这个词来形容抚养孩子。
但是，不要孩子的夫妇永远也体会不到，拥抱孩子或晚上给孩子掖好被子时的愉悦。他们永远不知道，看着孩子长大或者逗弄儿孙的乐趣。
然而，这些形式的乐趣在任何意义上都称不上是我所谓的幸福。写作、抚养孩子、增进与妻子的感情、为社会做些善事——这些给我带来的幸福远比娱乐带来的乐趣要多。要知道，娱乐是转瞬即逝的。
了解并接受真正的幸福与娱乐毫不相干，我们就能获得最大限度的解放。它解放了时间：现在我们能集中更多的时间去从事那些能带给我们真正幸福的活动；它解放了金钱；买一辆新车或一些时尚的衣物并不能增加我们的幸福；它把我们从嫉妒中解放出来：我们懂得，那些曾被我们确信幸福的富豪权贵们，只不过是享受了太多的娱乐，事实上或许毫无幸福可言。
我们如果懂得娱乐并不带来幸福，就会开始用不同的方式生活。其效果将是人生真正的转折点。
1. Many intelligent people equate happiness with fun. The truth is that fun and happiness have little or in common. is what we experience during an act. Happiness is what we experience an act. It is deeper, more abiding emotion.
2. As a result, many people avoid the endeavors that are the source of tree happiness. They the pain inevitably brought by such things as marriage, raising , professional achievement, religious commitment, civic or charitable , and self-improvement.
1. 人们坚信充满欢乐，远离痛苦的生活方式就等于幸福。
2. 他们永远不知道，看着孩子长大或者逗弄儿孙的乐趣。
3. 了解并接受真正的幸福与娱乐毫不相干，我们就能获得最大限度的解放。
1. Ask a bachelor why he resists marriage even though he finds dating to be less and less satisfying.
even though：即使；虽然
2. Similarly, couples who choose not to have children are deciding in favor of painless fun over painful happiness.
in favor of：有利于；支持；赞同