Support
?佚名 / Anonymous
There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflect it.
— Wharton
You support someone when you willingly step forward to help him through a challenging time. Yet the great irony is that when you support others, you are also, in fact, supporting yourself. When you withhold support from others, it is usually an indicator that you are also withholding support from yourself.
We are most often called upon to support others in friendship. One of my acquaintances, Donna, told me a story recently that clearly illustrates the magic of support and its potential as an emotional mirror.
Several years ago, Donna had been feeling very depressed. She had just broken up with her boyfriend of two years, and she was having a very difficult time accepting the loss. She had been laid up with a knee injury for several days, and the time alone at home certainly was not helping. Her misery was only compounded by her frustration at herself for not being able to pull it together and stop crying all the time.
Early one morning, Donna received a phone call with a piece of terrible news: her best friend’s brother had been killed in a car accident. Donna had known this friend, Mary, and her brother nearly her entire life, and the news was devastating. However, Donna quickly pulled herself together, got in the car, and drove to her friend’s house to be there with her.
Over the course of the next few days, amidst the haze of the funeral and hundreds of visitors, Donna was 100 percent present for Mary. She held her close while she cried endless tears, sat by her side as the waves of grief washed over her friend, and slept on the floor next to Mary’s bed to make sure she did not wake up alone in the middle of the night. During that time she hardly felt any pain in her knee at all and none of the depression she had been experiencing.
Several weeks later, when life began to return to normal, Donna realized that the level of support she had given Mary far exceeded any support she had offered herself during her dark time. She was able to use the support she had given her friend as a mirror for the support she had been withholding from herself. She realized that her own tears required as much attention and nurturing from her as anyone else’s, and that if she could give it to another, she must be able to also give it to herself...
So, when you find yourself unable to support someone else, look within and see if perhaps there is something within yourself that you are not supporting. Conversely, when you give complete support to others, it will mirror those places within you that require the same level of attention.
传播光明的方法有两种：要么做一根蜡烛，要么做一面镜子去反射它的光芒。
——沃顿
他人身处困境时，你主动帮他渡过难关，你就是在支持他。或许你不会想到，你帮助他人的同时，也是在帮你自己。拒绝对他人施以援手，其实也是拒绝帮助自己。
朋友之间最需要相互支持。前几天，我认识的一个熟人唐娜给我讲了一个故事，故事清楚地阐明了支持的魔力及其作为情感之镜的潜在效应。
几年前，唐娜一度委靡不振。那时，她和相恋两年的男朋友刚刚分手，这让她难以承受。接着，她又因膝盖受伤卧床数日，当然，孤独在家的日子，对她的身心毫无益处。她无法控制这种局面，因而痛苦不堪，整天懊恼、伤心、泪流满面。
一天清晨，唐娜接到她最好的朋友玛丽的一个电话，玛丽的弟弟在一场车祸中死去。这一噩耗让唐娜悲恸万分。要知道，唐娜与他们有着多年的交情，算得上是一辈子的朋友。唐娜很快振作起来，立刻驱车前往玛丽家陪她。
出事后的几天里，在张罗玛丽弟弟的葬礼和接待吊唁者期间，唐娜总是陪在玛丽身旁，寸步不离。玛丽痛不欲生时，唐娜紧搂着她；玛丽悲伤万分时，唐娜给她以慰藉；为了不让玛丽在半夜惊醒后独自黯然神伤，唐娜就睡在她床边的地板上。那段时间，唐娜全然忘记了膝盖的疼痛，心中的伤痛也沉寂下来。
之后几周，一切都回归常态。这时，唐娜才意识到，在这段阴暗的日子，她给予朋友的支持远多于给自己的，她几乎没有主动帮自己摆脱困境。她觉得自己同样也需要他人的关爱与支持。可她能给别人关爱和支持，就一定能给自己。
所以，当你发现自己无法给予他人关怀时，仔细审视自己吧，看自己是否有某些地方拒绝得到支持。反过来，如果你能全心全意地关怀他人，你就会发现，这些地方你也同样需要关爱。
1. We are most_______called upon to support others in friendship._______of my acquaintances, Donna, told me a_______recently that clearly illustrates the_______of support and its potential as an emotional mirror.
2. _______one morning, Donna received a phone call_______a piece of terrible news: her best friend’s brother had been_______in a car accident. Donna had known this_______ , Mary, and her brother nearly her entire life, and the_______was devastating.
1. 或许你不会想到，你帮助他人的同时，也是在帮你自己。
2. 当你发现自己无法给予他人关怀时，仔细审视自己吧，看自己是否有某些地方拒绝得到支持。
3. 反过来，如果你能全心全意地关怀他人，你就会发现，这些地方你也同样需要关爱。
1. She had just broken up with her boyfriend of two years.
break up with：跟……分手；与……断绝关系
2. Several weeks later, when life began to return to normal.
return to normal：恢复正常