[美]蒂娜.利兹/Tina Leeds
蒂姆周六出发去大学报到,我周日出发。从上高中以来,这是我们第一次分离。我们之间的亲密关系让别人很是羡慕,尽管这种友谊超越了一般的男女朋友。我崇拜他与众不同的个性、他让人觉得可笑的笑话和他孩子气的长相。他很了解我,能够说出我没有说完的话,他的一个眼神,就可以让我开怀大笑。我们爱慕着彼此,在高中最后一个暑假来临的时候,我们之间的友情变得更加深厚了。夏季缓缓地来临了,蒂姆正在努力让我忘记那个性情古怪的人,与他在一起完全是浪费时间,现在,我称呼这个人为前男友。几个月以来,蒂姆一直与我的一个好朋友约会。她常常挖苦他,在朋友们面前捉弄他,最后与他分手,让他哭泣,然而我只能坐在一旁看着。她伤了我最好的朋友的心,这就和伤了我的心一样。
我们打电话互相倾诉至深夜,彼此安慰,互相出主意,一起为上大学的事情担心。在那个夏天接下来的日子里,我们共度了所有的时光,那时我们两个人都是单身。在深夜结束一天的工作之后,我们就约在咖啡馆见面,一待就是几个小时,只是坐在那里聊天。那个夏天,我们之间的友情变得更加深厚。至今,我仍然无法了解,为什么在两个人准备上大学时,我们的友情竟然变得如此亲密。
去新学校报到的日子越来越近,我们不得不向彼此告别了。我们一起去购买上学用的物品,并且计划着上大学一个月之后聚会。
那个星期六的早晨,我愁肠百结,怀着紧张不安的心情开车送他去学校。在三个小时的路程中,我一直想搞清楚自己是怎么了。我当然会思念他,然而那是一种紧张的心情,而不是悲伤。我们把行李搬进了那个很小的房间,并把房间整理得像家一样。这时,我终于明白了自己的感情,深刻地体会到那是一种什么样的感情。我爱上了眼前的这个家伙!这是一种更加深厚的感情,不是高中时的那种友谊之爱,这让我感到无助。我终于了解了自己对最好朋友的真实感情,这似乎太迟了。我坐在他的床上,泪水溢满了眼眶。我向自己最要好的朋友,也是我所爱的人道别,心中不停地想,我们能否真的像约定的那样,一个月后见到彼此呢?
那天晚上在家收拾行李的时候,一想到可能发生变化的未来,我恐惧地哭了。我们都会有各自的生活,也许很少会想起对方。就在那个时候,电话响了,我把眼泪擦掉,努力用平静的语调问好,电话那头传出的声音让我知道一切都进行得很顺利——是蒂姆。我甚至还没有来得及问好,蒂姆就急切地对我说:“蒂娜,我们能不能早点儿见面,今晚可以吗?”
我还没有完全挂上电话,就情不自禁地咧开嘴笑了起来。我跳上车子,向他的学校驶去。我是如何在那么短的时间内赶到学校的(我用了1小时45分钟),这已经无关紧要了,重要的是见到他的那一刻,我拥抱了他,告诉他我爱他。事实上,我曾经那样做过无数次。然而,他这次把我从怀里推开,注视着我的眼睛说,他爱我,然后吻了我。这个吻似乎包含着几个月,甚至几年来彼此付出的真情。
第二天早晨出发前往学校的时候,我的整个脑袋、整颗心想的全是蒂姆。当我拿出钱包掏钱买汽水时,一张小纸条掉了出来。那是蒂姆写给我的,直到现在,我一想起上面的话语仍然会开心地微笑:“蒂娜,我对自己感到很气愤,为什么这么晚才向你表白……我爱你!”感动的泪水夺眶而出,我感到了真正的幸福,对我们的关系也安下心来。
我依然保留着蒂姆写给我的纸条,我们一直保持着那种非同一般的友谊,直到永远。只是,现在我们分享了更多的东西——三个漂亮的孩子和同一个姓氏。
Tim left for college on a Saturday and I on a Sunday.It would be the first time we had ever been apart over the course of our high school friendship.Ours was more than a normal boy/girl friendship,though.Our close connection was the envy of others.I was in awe of his amazing personality,his hilarious jokes and his little-boy looks.He could read my mind,finish my sentences and bring me to hysterical laughter with only a look.We adored each other.As our last summer together approached,our bond only grew.The summer started off slowly,with Tim trying to get my mind off the jerk I now refer to as my ex-boyfriend and a total waste of my time.Tim was dating one of my close friends,and had been for a couple of months.I had to sit by and watch as she ridiculed him,made a joke of him in front of our friends,and eventually made him cry when she finally ended it.She broke my best friend’s heart,and I ached with him.We spent hours talking on the phone late at night,comforting each other,giving each other advice and worrying about college.Over the rest of the summer,both of us were single,so we spent all of our time together.Late at night after work,we would meet at cafes and just talk for hours.We grew even closer that summer.I only wondered why our friendship had to get so close now,as we were both preparing to leave for college.As the time approached when we would have to say good-bye,we went shopping together for school supplies and planned our first rendezvous as college students for a month after we were both at school.
As I left that Saturday morning to take him to school,I was extremely nervous,my stomach full of knots.I kept wondering what was wrong with me during the three-hour car ride.Of course I was going to miss him,but this was not a sad feeling,this was nervousness.As we finished packing him into his tiny room and making it feel like some semblance of home,it hit me—and it hit me hard.I was in love with this guy!And it wasn’t the friendship kind of love that I had felt for him throughout high school;it was something much deeper.I felt helpless.I had finally realized my true feelings for my best friend when it was too late.Tears filled my eyes as I sat on his springy,steel bed.I said good-bye to my best friend and the love of my life,wondering if we were really going to meet in a month as planned.That night at home as I packed my stuff I cried,scared that things would never be the same.We were both going to have our separate lives and would probably barely think of each other.Just then the phone rang,and as I wiped my tears and tried to utter a quiet hello,the voice on the other end let me know everything was going to be okay.It was Tim.Before even saying hello he blurted out,“Tina,we’re going to make that rendezvous earlier than I thought.
How about tonight?”I was grinning like crazy as I practically hung up on him,jumped in my car without directions and headed for his school.How I got there in such a short time(an hour and forty-five minutes)is irrelevant.What is relevant is that the second I got there,I hugged him and told him I loved him.I had actually done that numerous times before,but this time he pulled away from my embrace,looked into my eyes,told me he loved me,too—and then kissed me.It was a kiss that seemed to contain months,even years,worth of love for each other.When I left for school the next morning,I had Tim on my mind and in my heart.As I picked up my wallet to get money out to pay for a soda,a tiny piece of paper fell out.It was from Tim and contained words that touch my heart to this day and still make me smile.“Tina,I am so mad at myself for waiting to tell you...I love you!”My eyes welled up with tears,and I felt truly happy and at ease with our situation.I still keep that note from Tim,and we continue to share a remarkable friendship and always will.Only these days we also share much more—three beautiful children and the same last name.