She sobbed on desperately; then the outpour lessened, and she became quieter.Wildeve had resisted the impulse to clasp her, and stood without speaking.
"Are you not ashamed of me, who used never to be a crying animal?" she asked in a weak whisper as she wiped her eyes."Why didn't you go away? I wish you had not seen quite all that; it reveals too much by half.""You might have wished it, because it makes me as sad as you," he said with emotion and deference.
"As for revealing--the word is impossible between us two.""I did not send for you--don't forget it, Damon; I am in pain, but I did not send for you! As a wife, at least, I've been straight.""Never mind--I came.O, Eustacia, forgive me for the harm I have done you in these two past years! I see more and more that I have been your ruin.""Not you.This place I live in."
"Ah, your generosity may naturally make you say that.
But I am the culprit.I should either have done more or nothing at all.""In what way?"
"I ought never to have hunted you out, or, having done it, I ought to have persisted in retaining you.
But of course I have no right to talk of that now.
I will only ask this--can I do anything for you? Is there anything on the face of the earth that a man can do to make you happier than you are at present? If there is, I will do it.You may command me, Eustacia, to the limit of my influence; and don't forget that I am richer now.
Surely something can be done to save you from this! Such a rare plant in such a wild place it grieves me to see.
Do you want anything bought? Do you want to go anywhere?
Do you want to escape the place altogether? Only say it, and I'll do anything to put an end to those tears, which but for me would never have been at all.""We are each married to another person," she said faintly;"and assistance from you would have an evil sound--after--after--""Well, there's no preventing slanderers from having their fill at any time; but you need not be afraid.
Whatever I may feel I promise you on my word of honour never to speak to you about--or act upon--until you say I may.
I know my duty to Thomasin quite as well as I know my duty to you as a woman unfairly treated.What shall I assist you in?""In getting away from here."
"Where do you wish to go to?"
"I have a place in my mind.If you could help me as far as Budmouth I can do all the rest.Steamers sail from there across the Channel, and so I can get to Paris, where I want to be.Yes," she pleaded earnestly, "help me to get to Budmouth harbour without my grandfather's or my husband's knowledge, and I can do all the rest.""Will it be safe to leave you there alone?""Yes, yes.I know Budmouth well."
"Shall I go with you? I am rich now."
She was silent.
"Say yes, sweet!"
She was silent still.
"Well, let me know when you wish to go.We shall be at our present house till December; after that we remove to Casterbridge.Command me in anything till that time.""I will think of this," she said hurriedly."Whether Ican honestly make use of you as a friend, or must close with you as a lover--that is what I must ask myself.
If I wish to go and decide to accept your company I will signal to you some evening at eight o'clock punctually, and this will mean that you are to be ready with a horse and trap at twelve o'clock the same night to drive me to Budmouth harbour in time for the morning boat.""I will look out every night at eight, and no signal shall escape me.""Now please go away.If I decide on this escape I can only meet you once more unless--I cannot go without you.
Go--I cannot bear it longer.Go--go!"
Wildeve slowly went up the steps and descended into the darkness on the other side; and as he walked he glanced back, till the bank blotted out her form from his further view.
6 - Thomasin Argues with Her Cousin, and He Writes a Letter Yeobright was at this time at Blooms-End, hoping that Eustacia would return to him.The removal of furniture had been accomplished only that day, though Clym had lived in the old house for more than a week.
He had spent the time in working about the premises, sweeping leaves from the garden paths, cutting dead stalks from the flower beds, and nailing up creepers which had been displaced by the autumn winds.He took no particular pleasure in these deeds, but they formed a screen between himself and despair.Moreover, it had become a religion with him to preserve in good condition all that had lapsed from his mother's hands to his own.
During these operations he was constantly on the watch for Eustacia.That there should be no mistake about her knowing where to find him he had ordered a notice board to be affixed to the garden gate at Alderworth, signifying in white letters whither he had removed.
When a leaf floated to the earth he turned his head, thinking it might be her foot-fall.A bird searching for worms in the mould of the flower-beds sounded like her hand on the latch of the gate; and at dusk, when soft, strange ventriloquisms came from holes in the ground, hollow stalks, curled dead leaves, and other crannies wherein breezes, worms, and insects can work their will, he fancied that they were Eustacia, standing without and breathing wishes of reconciliation.
Up to this hour he had persevered in his resolve not to invite her back.At the same time the severity with which he had treated her lulled the sharpness of his regret for his mother, and awoke some of his old solicitude for his mother's supplanter.Harsh feelings produce harsh usage, and this by reaction quenches the sentiments that gave it birth.The more he reflected the more he softened.
But to look upon his wife as innocence in distress was impossible, though he could ask himself whether he had given her quite time enough--if he had not come a little too suddenly upon her on that sombre morning.
Now that the first flush of his anger had paled he was disinclined to ascribe to her more than an indiscreet friendship with Wildeve, for there had not appeared in her manner the signs of dishonour.And this once admitted, an absolutely dark interpretation of her act towards his mother was no longer forced upon him.