书城外语玩转幽默英语
37615200000005

第5章 Hospital医院

医生给病人诊断之前都要进行一些前期的检查,然后根据症状给病人建议,在这个过程也许会有一些笑话,你知道吗?

A:Put out your tongue,OK. You can put your tongue back now.It's clear what's wrong with you.You need more exercise.A:伸出舌头,好了,把舌头缩回去吧。你的病因很明显。你需要更多的运动。B:But, doctor,I don't think-B:但是,医生,我不认为--A:Don't tell me what you think.I am the doctor, not you, I know what you need,I see hundreds of people like you. None of them get any exercise, they sit in offices all day and in front of the television in the evening.What you need is to walk quickly for at least 30 minutes a day.A:不要告诉我你认为怎么样,我是医生,不是你。我知道你需要什么。我看过数以百计像你这样的病人。他们没有一个人锻炼过。他们整天坐在办公室里,晚上就坐在电视机前。你所需要的是每天至少快走30分钟。B:Doctor, you don't understand,I-B:医生,你不知道,我--A:I don't want to hear any excuse, You must find time for exercise. If you don't, you will get fat and have health problems when you are older.A:我不想听任何理由。你应该抽出时间来运动。如果你不锻炼,那么当你老的时候,你就会变得很胖,并且有健康问题。B:But I walk every day.B:但我每天都走路的。A:Oh, yes, and I know what kind of walking that is.You walk a few feet to the train station from your house, a few A:喔,是的。我知道那是一种怎样的散步。你走几英尺的路,从家到车站,又走几英尺从车站到办公室,然后走几more feet from the station to your office, and a few from your office to a restaurant for lunch and back. That's not real walking, I'm talking about a walk in the park for thirty minutes every day.英尺从办公室到餐馆去吃中饭再回来。那不是真正的散步。我所说的是每天在公园里散步30分钟。B:Will you listen to me,doctor!I'm a mailman,and I walk for seven hours every day.B:请听我说,医生!我是一名邮递员,我每天得走7小时的路。A:Put your tongue out again,will you?A:再把你的舌头伸出来,行吗?

A:Sit down, please, John.A:约翰,请坐。B:But I am rather nervous for I have no ideas what the test is going to be like.B:但是我有些紧张,因为我不知道测试会是怎样的。A:Now, my dear fellow, suppose I'll just tell you what happened in one of the streets of Shanghai last Sunday and you will tell me what's wrong with my story!A:现在,我亲爱的伙计,我就要给你讲一件上星期天发生在上海一条街道上的事情,然后你要告诉我我讲的故事有什么错!B:Ok.B:好吧。A:A motorcyclist crashed into a bus, he was knocked off his seat and lay unconscious in the roadway.A tram that happened to be passing cut his head off.A member of the Salvation Army who was sorry for the fellow picked up his head and the body too, took them to a chemist's ,bought some adhesive plaster, stuck the head in its place, put the plaster round the fellow's neck and the two chaps went to a club for a game of billiards.A:一个骑摩托车的人撞上了一辆公共汽车,他被撞倒了,昏迷不醒,躺在路上。一辆电车恰好路过把他的头碾了下来,一个救世军的成员可怜那个家伙,就捡起他的头和身躯,拿到一家药店,买了些橡皮膏,把头接上,用橡皮膏在那家伙的脖子上缠了几圈,然后这两个人一起到一家俱乐部玩台球去了。B:I got you there, that's sheer nonsense!B:我知道是怎么回事了,那纯粹是一派胡言!A:(Happily) How do you know?A:(高兴地)你怎么知道?B:Chemist's and all other shops are shut on Sundays, aren't they?B:药店和其他所有商店星期天都不开门,不是吗?

A:I must know if he accepts or declines.A:我必须知道他是接受还是谢绝了我的邀请。B:Yes.B:是的。A:But I can't recognize the word.Can you help me?A:但我认不清他的字迹,你能帮我吗?B:Maybe, let me have a look at it…Oh, dear, I can't recognize, either.B:或许吧,让我看一下,噢,天哪!我也认不清。A:What should I do?A:我应该做什么呢?B:If I were you, I should take it to the druggist.A pharmacist can always read doctor's letters, however badly written.B:如果我是你的话,我会将这封信拿给药剂师看,无论字迹多么潦草,药剂师总能看懂大夫的信。A:Good idea.A:太好了。C:There you are, madam. That will cost four dollars.C:这是您的药,夫人,四美元。

A:I have to see a doctor.A:我得去看医生。B:It's easy, there are many doctors here.B:这很简单,这里有很多医生。A:But how can I be sure of getting a good one?A:但是,我怎么保证能找到一位好大夫呢?B:It's simple, every time a doctor loses a patient, it's our law that he must fly a balloon above his office.B:很简单,按照我们法律的规定,大夫每治死一个病人,他必须在诊所挂一个气球。A:I am ill and get a headache now.A:我正头痛。C:You'll have to wait. For clinic which only started yesterday, I've been very busy.C:你得等一会儿,因为这个诊所昨天刚开业,我很忙。

A:I am so tired that I left my watch in the operating room.A:我太累了,以至于把手表忘在手术室了。B:But I looked for it everywhere and didn't find it.B:但我找遍了整个手术室也没有找到呀。A:It doesn't matter, but how is the patient doing after I operated on his heart?A:没关系,我给他做了心脏手术以后,病人怎么样?B:He is doing fine except for one thing-B:一切正常--只是好像有双重心搏。he seems to have a double heartbeat.A:Ah,-so that's where it's gone,-the watch is lost in his stomach.A:啊--原来它在那里,手表掉在他肚子里了。

1.Fortunately,it is not rainy.

fortunately是“幸运地,幸亏,幸好”的意思,它的形容词就是fortunate(幸运的)。它的名词是fortune, 可解释成“幸运,命运,运气”。如:

good fortune(好运),tell fortunes(算命),fortuneteller(算命仙)。此外,它也作“财富,财产”解释。如 :

a man of fortune (有钱人),make a fortune (发大财)。与fortunately 相似的是luckily(幸运地,幸好)。然而,我们常说Good luck to you!(祝你好运),但有时候也用Good fortune to you, 比如写信的时候。

2.You're the best at the management.

be the best at是指“在……最优秀(强,厉害)的”,请注意要配合介系词“at”,而且后面若有动作,则要接动名词(Ving)。如:

Michael is the best at singing English songs in his class迈克尔是他们班上最会唱英文歌的人。与此句类型相似的还有be good at (擅长于),be poor at (不擅长于),be bad at (笨拙于)。如:

Helen is poor at cooking (海伦不擅长烹饪)。John is bad at singing Japanese songs(约翰的日文歌曲唱得很差劲)。

外科医生surgeon

电工electrician

图书管理员librarian

精神病医生psychiatrist

病理学家pathologist

冷漠地,面无表情地nonchalantly

精神病院Lunatic Asylum

集中,聚集全神贯注concentrate

忍耐,忍受endure

摩托车骑士motorcyclist

桌球billiards

难读的,难认的illegible

药剂师pharmacist

遥远的,偏僻的remote

心搏动heartbeat

安慰,使平静comfort

儿童,青年youngster

百hundred

回答reply

赌博gamble

玩弄fool

分开separate

发现discover

主要的major

原因cause

头痛headache

持续地,经常地continually

争吵argue

卧室bedroom

大惊小怪fuss

牙科医生dentist

立即immediately

大叫scream

需求demand

触摸,碰touch

牙齿tooth

哎呀alas

站,这里可解释为“踩”stand

牙科医生dentist

解释explanation

打电话on the telephone

治疗treatment

花费cost

收费,要价charge

夫人madam

叫喊yell

大声地loudly

跑掉run away

建议advice

病人patient

请教consult

病情illness

药店老板druggist

在拐角处at the corner

荒谬的ridiculous

傻瓜fool

咆哮snarl

几乎,差不多almost

牧师pastor

静静地quietly

聊天chat

一、翻译下列对话:

(一)Bad News and Good News坏消息与好消息

A:I have good news for you, Mr. Jacobs…and bad news.

B:What's the bad news?

A:We have to remove both legs.

B:And the good news?

A:The patient in 634 wants to buy your slippers.

(二)Opration手术

A:How was he getting aloud?

B:Pretty well.After my first operation,they had to cut me open again.It seems the surgeon had left a sponge in me and they had to get that out.

A:Surely you are all right now, though.

C:Has anyone seen my hat around here? I left it somewhere yesterday.

二、根据所提供词或词组完成下列句子:

view

path

laundry

preference

combination

particular

1.Is there any place in you'd like us to see?

2.It will be difficult for us to follow the mountain .

3.We can have a birdeye of the city from up here.

4.History and culture are good with nature.

5.Would you help me to bring this coat to the?

6.The window seat is my .

医生是个神圣的职业,你接触过的医生都是什么样的?和下面的主人公比较一下,看看有什么不同吧!

A:Your prices are very high, aren't lower than this when he comes to the house?A:你开的价钱太高了,医生到这儿看病还比这便宜。B:Yes, I know,I know that very well, because I was a doctor until I was lucky enough to find this job a few months ago.B:对,我很了解,我目前的这个工作是几个月前才幸运地找到的,之前,我一直就是医生。(Five surgeons are discussing who is the best type of surgical patients.)(五个外科医生在讨论什么人算是最好的外科病人)A:I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.A:我喜欢在我的手术台上看到的是会计,因为当你把他们剖开时,你会发现他的内脏全都有数字标号。B:Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything inside them is color coded.B:是的,但你应当试试电工。他们的内脏全都是色码区别的。C:No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is an alphabetical order.C:不,我确实认为图书管理员最好。他们的内脏全都是按字母排序的。D:You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.D:你们知道,我喜欢建筑队工人。当你最后发现你把一些部分给遗忘了时,他们总是能够理解,而且手术时间要是比你说的长时,他们也能理解。E:You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on, there are no guts, no heart , and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable.E:你们全都错了。给政客做手术是最容易的。他们没有肠子,没有心,没有脊梁骨,而且头和屁股可以互换。

A:Look, a bird is coming winging overhead.A:看,一只鸟在头顶飞过。B:Why did you raise your shotgun and then hesitate?B:你为什么举起枪又犹豫了呢?A:I am not quite sure it's a duck, I think that I will have to get a second opinion, but the bird was long gone.A:我不敢肯定那是不是鸭子,我想我必须再想片刻,但这时鸟飞走了。B:Look! Another duck.B:看!另一只鸭子。C:Why don't you shoot at it ?C:你为什么不打它?B:(Muttering) I am also unsure if it is really a duck in my sight and besides, it might have babies, I'll have to do some more investigations.B:(喃喃自语)我也不能肯定那是不是鸭子。并且那只鸟可能还怀着小鸟,我必须作进一步调查。C:But the creature makes its good escape.C:但是那家伙从容不迫地逃脱了。B:Why do you hesitate since you know it is a duck?B:既然你知道那是只鸭子你还犹豫什么?A:Now, I know it's a duck, but does it know it's a duck?A:是啊,现在我知道那是只鸭子,可它自己知道吗?C:Go to see if that is a duck, will you?C:去看看那是不是一只野鸭,可以吗?

A:Oh, my man, just one or two questions and you are free to do as you like! Just try to concentrate for a moment and tell me, will you be able to see if I cut one of your ears off?A:那么,伙计,只问你一两个问题,然后你就可以自由自在地做你想做的事了!请试着集中注意力,就一小会儿,告诉我:如果我割掉你的一只耳朵,你还能看得见吗?B:Yes, I will.B:是的,我能。A:That's good. That's the right answer. And now will you be able to see if I cut both your ears off?A:很好,答案正确。现在我再问你:如果我割掉你的两只耳朵你还能看得见吗?B:No,I won't.B:不能。A:Oh, why not?A:哦,为什么?B:Er,…well, because one can't see through a hat!…B:嗯……因为人不能透过帽子看见东西!……A:What hat?!! What's that got to do with your ears?!!A:什么帽子,那跟你的耳朵有什么关系?!!B:Oh, come on, doctor, when you cut my ears off, my hat will drop down and…you see!B:哦,你瞧,大夫,当你把我的两只耳朵都割掉,我的帽子就会掉下来挡住眼睛……

A:What's the matter with you?A:你怎么了?B:Nothing special, doctor.B:没什么,医生。A:Why do they send you here?A:他们为什么把你送到这里来?B:You see, Doc, my problem is that I like boots much better than I like shoes.B:你知道吗,医生,我的问题是在靴子与鞋子之间我更喜欢鞋子。A:That's no problem.Most people like shoes better than boots.A:那没问题呀,大多数人都喜欢鞋子而不是靴子。B:That's neat, Doc, how do you like them, fried or scrambled?B:太好了,医生,你喜欢什么样的鞋子呢?炸的还是炒的?

A:What can I do for you, madam?A:我能为您做些什么,夫人?B:It's my son, he has something wrong with his teeth.B:是我儿子,他有牙病。A:Let me see…oh, so serious, what can I do is to pull it.A:啊,让我看看,太严重了,我只能把它拔掉。B:Ok.Pull it please,how much does it cost?B:好吧,那就把它拔掉吧,多少钱?A:Six dollars.A:6美元。B:Here is your money. Thank you.B:给你钱,谢谢。A:Oh,madam,I am sorry but I shall have to charge you sixty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth.A:对不起,夫人,拔你的儿子这颗牙,这得收60美元。B:Sixty dollars! Why? I understood you to say that you charged only six dollars for such work!B:60美元!为什么?你明明是说像这种活只收6美元!A:Yes,but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared ten other patients out of the office.A:是的,但是你儿子叫得这么厉害,把另外十个病人从诊断室给吓跑了。

1.I hurt all over.

是“我全身疼痛”的意思。all over 这个词组的意思是“到处、整个”, 就等于everywhere(到处)和throughout (到处)。如:

Shelly wants to travel all over the world in the future(雪莉想要在未来游遍全世界)。与over相关的常用词组有over again(再一次),over here(在这里),over there(在那里)。

2.This is hospital ER.

这里是医院急诊室。

ER是“Emergency Room”的缩写,也就是“急诊室”的意思。以下列举与医院有关的单位名称如下:

intensive care unit(加护病房),operating room或surgery theatre(手术室),delivery room (产房),treatment room(诊疗室),out patient department(门诊部),pharmacy 或dispensary (药房),registration(挂号处),admitting department (住院处), rehabilitation department(复健部)。

规则,准则rule

胳膊arm

放弃let go

价值value

沉默silence

分享share

知识knowledge

取得achieve

不朽immortality

一次,一份a stroke of

幸运,运气luck

失去lose

教训lesson

尊重respect

责任responsibility

行动action

纠纷dispute

伤害injure

犯错误make a mistake

立即采取措施take immediately steps

改正correct

钟,钟声bell

绅士gentleman

阳光sunshine

陌生人stranger

好交际的sociable

宏伟的grand

稍稍slightly

该死的,坏透的infernal

分开separate

主要的major

原因cause

头痛headache

持续地,经常地continually

争吵argue

卧室bedroom

小学老师schoolmaster

精神病医生psychiatrist

担心worry

听listen to

讲清楚make sense

社会学家sociologist

把……归咎于blame

罪行crime

除……之外except

犯罪commit

统计学家statistician

无保证的,没有根据的unwarranted

假设assumption

事先想到preconceive

结论conclusion

专家specialist

收集,集合assemble

数字figure

把……引向歧途lead …astray

漱口液mouthwash

乘(车)ride

长期车票使用者,老乘客

commuter

文章article

估计expectancy

统计数据statistics

呼吸breathe

死die

一、翻译下列对话:

(一)Bill药片

A:Doctor, what I need is something to stir me upsomething to put me in fighting trim.Did you put anything like that in this preion?

B:No, you will find that in the bill.

(二)Pay付费

A:I saw the doctor you told me to see.

B:Did you tell him I sent you?

A:Yes, I did.

B:What did he say?

A:He asked me to pay in advance.

二、根据所提供词或词组完成下列句子:

awfully

asleep

disturb

counter

noisy

corridor

register

charge

A:Ms. Chen, I am the (1)of the tour, Li Hua. I heard that…

B:I do not want to(2)you. But I have told you that I need a double room with the sea sight for me and my children. What's more, it is so (3)that my children can't fall (4).

A:I am (5)sorry for our carelessness, madam. I will arrange for you at once.

B:It is nonsense.

A:Well, madam. I have checked in the(6)form, we indeed wrote down your requirement. I think the waiter directed you to the wrong room. Could you tell me the number of this room?

B:It is on this card. Number 027.

A:Oh, it is. You should be in No.026. I will ask the (7)to change it right away. Wait a moment, please.

B:As soon as possible, please.

C:I am sorry,madam.Your room should be at the end of the(8).This way,please.