Knight persevered in the tone and manner of a disinterested outsider.It had become more than ever imperative to screen his emotions from Stephens eye;the young man would otherwise be less frank,and their meeting would be again embittered.What was the use of untoward candour?
Stephen had now arrived at the point in his ingenuous narrative where he left the vicarage because of her fathers manner.
Knights interest increased.Their love seemed so innocent and childlike thus far.
It is a nice point in casuistry,he observed,to decide whether you were culpable or not in not telling Swancourt that your friends were parishioners of his.It was only human nature to hold your tongue under the circumstances.Well,what was the result of your dismissal by him?
That we agreed to be secretly faithful.And to insure this we thought we would marry.
Knights suspense and agitation rose higher when Stephen entered upon this phase of the subject.
Do you mind telling on?he said,steadying his manner of speech.
Oh,not at all.
Then Stephen gave in full the particulars of the meeting with Elfride at the railway station;the necessity they were under of going to London,unless the ceremony were to be postponed.The long journey of the afternoon and evening;her timidity and revulsion of feeling;its culmination on reaching London;the crossing over to the down-platform and their immediate departure again,solely in obedience to her wish;the journey all night;their anxious watching for the dawn;their arrival at St.Launces at last--were detailed.And he told how a village woman named Jethway was the only person who recognized them,either going or coming;and how dreadfully this terrified Elfride.He told how he waited in the fields whilst this then reproachful sweetheart went for her pony,and how the last kiss he ever gave her was given a mile out of the town,on the way to Endelstow.
These things Stephen related with a will.He believed that in doing so he established word by word the reasonableness of his claim to Elfride.
Curse her!curse that woman!--that miserable letter that parted us!O God!
Knight began pacing the room again,and uttered this at further end.
What did you say?said Stephen,turning round.
Say?Did I say anything?Oh,I was merely thinking about your story,and the oddness of my having a fancy for the same woman afterwards.And that now I--I have forgotten her almost;and neither of us care about her,except just as a friend,you know,eh?
Knight still continued at the further end of the room,somewhat in shadow.
Exactly,said Stephen,inwardly exultant,for he was really deceived by Knights off-hand manner.
Yet he was deceived less by the completeness of Knights disguise than by the persuasive power which lay in the fact that Knight had never before deceived him in anything.So this supposition that his companion had ceased to love Elfride was an enormous lightening of the weight which had turned the scale against him.
Admitting that Elfride COULD love another man after you,said the elder,under the same varnish of careless criticism,she was none the worse for that experience.
The worse?Of course she was none the worse.
Did you ever think it a wild and thoughtless thing for her to do?
Indeed,I never did,said Stephen.I persuaded her.She saw no harm in it until she decided to return,nor did I;nor was there,except to the extent of indiscretion.
Directly she thought it was wrong she would go no further?
That was it.I had just begun to think it wrong too.
Such a childish escapade might have been misrepresented by any evil-disposed person,might it not?
It might;but I never heard that it was.Nobody who really knew all the circumstances would have done otherwise than smile.If all the world had known it,Elfride would still have remained the only one who thought her action a sin.Poor child,she always persisted in thinking so,and was frightened more than enough.
Stephen,do you love her now?
Well,I like her;I always shall,you know,he said evasively,and with all the strategy love suggested.But I have not seen her for so long that I can hardly be expected to love her.Do you love her still?
How shall I answer without being ashamed?What fickle beings we men are,Stephen!Men may love strongest for a while,but women love longest.I used to love her--in my way,you know.
Yes,I understand.Ah,and I used to love her in my way.In fact,I loved her a good deal at one time;but travel has a tendency to obliterate early fancies.