(Mother Grogan throws her boot at Bloom. Several shopkeepers from upper and lower Dorset street throw objects of little or no commercial value， hambones， condensed milk tins， unsaleable cabbage， stale bread， sheeps' tails， odd pieces of fat.)BLOOM (Excitedly.) This is midsummer madness， some ghastly joke again. By heaven， I am guiltless as the unsunned snow！ It was my brother Henry. He is my double. He lives in number 2 Dolphin's Barn. Slander， the viper， has wrongfully accused me. Fellowcountrymen， sgenl inn ban bata coisde gan capall. I call on my old friend， Dr Malachi Mulligan， sex specialist to give medical testimony on my behalf.
DR MULLIGAN (In motor jerkin， green motoroggles on his brow.) Dr Bloom is bisexually abnormal. He has recently escaped from Dr Eustace's private asylum for demented gentlemen. Born out of bedlock hereditary epilepsy is present， the consequence of unbridled lust. Traces of elephantiasis have been discovered among his ascendants. There are marked symptoms of chronic exhibitionism. Ambidexterity is also latent. He is prematurely bald from selfabuse， perversely idealistic in consequence， a reformed rake， and has metal teeth. In consequence of a family complex he has temporarily lost his memory and I believe him to be more sinned against than sinning. I have made a pervaginal examination and， after application of the acid test to 5427 anal， axillary， pectoral and pubic hairs， I declare him to be virgo intacta.
(Bloom holds his high grade hat over his genital organs.)DR MADDEN Hypsospadia is also marked. In the interest of coming generations I suggest that the parts affected should be preserved in spirits of wine in the national teratological museum.
DR CROTTHERS I have examined the patient's urine. It is albuminoid. Salivation is insufficient， the patellar reflex intermittent.
DR PUNCH COSTELLO The fetor judaicus is most perceptible.
DR DIXON (Reads a bill of health.) Professor Bloom is a finished example of the new womanly man. His moral nature is simple and lovable. Many have found him a dear man， a dear person. He is a rather quaint fellow on the whole， coy though not feeble-minded in the medical sense. He has written a really beautiful letter， a poem in itself， to the court missionary of the Reformed Priests' Protection Society which clears up everything. He is practically a total abstainer and I can affirm that he sleeps on a straw litter and eats the most Spartan food， cold dried grocer's peas. He wears a hairshirt winter and summer and scourges himself every Saturday. He was， I understand， at one time a firstclass misdemeanant in Glencree reformatory. Another report states that he was a very posthumous child. I appeal for clemency in the name of the most sacred word our vocal organs have ever been called upon to speak. He is about to have a baby.
(General commotion and compassion. Women faint. A wealthy American makes a street collection for Bloom. Gold and silver coins， bank cheques， banknotes， jewels， treasury bonds， maturing bills of exchange， I.O.U.s， wedding rings' watch-chains， lockets， necklaces and bracelets are rapidly collected.)BLOOM O， I so want to be a mother.
MRS THORNTON (In nursetender's gown.) Embrace me tight， dear. You'll be soon over it. Tight， dear.
(Bloom embraces her tightly and bears eight male yellow and white children. They appear on a redcarpeted staircase adorned with expensive plants. All are handsome， with valuable metallic faces， wellmade， respectably dressed and wellconducted， speaking five modern languages fluently and interested in various arts and sciences. Each has his name printed in legible letters on his shirtfront： Nasodoro， Goldfinger， Chrysostomos， Maindorée， Silversmile， Silberselber Vifargent， Panargros. They are immediately appointed to positions of high public trust in several different countries as managing directors of banks， traffic managers of railways， chairmen of limited liability companies， vice chairmen of hotel syndicates.)A VOICE Bloom， are you the Messiah ben Joseph or ben David？
BLOOM (Darkly.) You have said it.
BROTHER BUZZ Then perform a miracle.
BANTAM LYONS Prophesy who will win the Saint Leger.