催眠术家杰夫·彼得斯
Jeff Peters has been engaged in as many schemesscheme n.安排， 配置， 计划， 阴谋， 方案， 图解， 摘要 v.计划， 设计， 图谋， 策划 for making money as there are recipes for cooking rice in Charleston， S.C.
杰夫·彼得斯挣钱的旁门邪道多得像是南卡罗来纳州查尔斯顿煮米饭的方法。
Best of all I like to hear him tell of his earlier days when he sold linimentsliniment n.擦剂，涂抹油 and cough cures on street corners， living hard to mouth， heart to heart with the people， throwing heads or tails with fortune for his last coin.
我最爱听他叙说早年的事情，那时候他在街头卖膏药和咳嗽药水，勉强糊口，并跟各种各样的人打交道，拿最后的一枚钱币同命运打赌。
“I struck Fisher Hill， Arkansaw，” said he， “in a buckskinbuckskin n.鹿皮裤， 鹿皮 suit， moccasinsmoccasin n.鹿皮鞋， 软拖鞋， long hair and a thirtycarat diamond ring that I got from an actor in Texarkana. I dont know what he ever did with the pocket knife I swappedswap v.交换 n.交换 him for it.
“我到了阿肯色的费希尔山，”他说道，“身穿鹿皮衣，脚登鹿皮靴，头发留得长长的，手上戴着从特克萨卡纳一个演员那里弄来的三十克拉的金刚钻戒指。我不明白他用戒指换了我的折刀去干什么。
“I was Dr. Waughhoo， the celebrated Indian medicine man. I carried only one best bet just then， and that was Resurrection Bitters. It was made of life—giving plants and herbs accidentally discovered by Taquala， the beautiful wife of the chief of the Choctaw Nation， while gathering truck to garnishgarnish v.装饰 a platter of boiled dog for the annual corn dance.
“我当时的身份是著名的印第安巫医沃胡大夫。我只带着一件最好的赌本，那就是用延年益寿的植物和草药浸制的回春药酒。乔克陶族酋长的美貌的妻子塔夸拉在替玉米跳舞会煮狗肉时，想找一些蔬菜搭配，无意中发现了那种草药。
“Business hadnt been good in the last town， so I only had five dollars. I went to the Fisher Hill druggist and he credited me for half a gross of eightounce bottles and corks. I had the labels and ingredientsingredient n.成分， 因素 in my valise， left over from the last town. Life began to look rosy again after I got in my hotel room with the water running from the tap， and the Resurrection Bitters lining up on the table by the dozen.
“我在前一站镇上的买卖不很顺手，因此身边只有五块钱了。我找到费希尔山的药剂师，向他赊了六打八英两容量的玻璃瓶和软木塞。我的手提箱里还有前一站用剩的标签和原料。我住进旅馆后，就拧开自来水龙头兑好回春药酒，一打一打地排在桌子上，这时候生活仿佛又很美好了。
“Fake？ No， sir. There was two dollars worth of fluid extract of cinchonacinchona n.［植物］（产于南美的）金鸡纳树， 金鸡纳皮 and a dimes worth of aniline in that halfgross of bitters. Ive gone through towns years afterwards and had folks ask for em again.
“你说是假药吗？不，先生。那六打药酒里面有值两块钱的金鸡纳皮浸膏和一毛钱的阿尼林。几年以后，我路过那些小镇，人们还向我买呢。
“I hired a wagon that night and commencedcommence v.开始， 着手 selling the bitters on Main Street. Fisher Hill was a low， malarial town， and a compound hypotheticalhypothetical adj.假设的， 假定的，爱猜想的 pneumocardiac antiscorbutic tonic was just what I diagnoseddiagnose v.诊断 the crowd as needing. The bitters started off like sweetbreadsontoast at a vegetarianvegetarian n.素食者， 食草动物 adj.素食的 dinner. I had sold two dozen at fifty cents apiece when I felt somebody pull my coat tail. I knew what that meant， so I climbed down and sneaked a five dollar bill into the hand of a man with a German silver star on his lapel.
“当晚我就雇了一辆大车，开始在大街上推销药酒。费希尔山是个疟疾流行的小镇，据我诊断，镇上的居民正需要一种润肺强心、补血养气的十全大补剂。药酒的销路好得像是吃素的人见到了鱼翅海参。我以每瓶半块钱的价钱卖掉了两打，这时觉得有人在扯我衣服的下摆。我明白那是什么意思，于是我爬下来，把一张五元的钞票偷偷地塞在一个胸襟上佩着镀银星章的人的手里。
“‘Constableconstable n.治安官， 警官， 巡官，’ says I， ‘its a fine night.’
“‘警官，’我说道，‘今晚天气不错。’
“‘Have you got a city license，’ he asks， ‘to sell this illegitimateillegitimate adj.违法的， 非嫡出的， 庶生的， 私生的，不合理的， 不合逻辑的 n.非嫡出子， 庶子 vt.认为违法，认做私生子 essence of spooju that you flatter by the name of medicine？’
“‘你推销你称之为药的这种非法假货，’他问道，‘可有本市的执照？’
“‘I have not，’ says I. ‘I didnt know you had a city. If I can find it tomorrow Ill take one out if its necessary.’
“‘没有。’我说。‘我不知道你们这里有个城市。明天如果我发现确实有城市的意思，必要的话，我可以领一张。’
“‘Ill have to close you up till you do，’ says the constable.
“‘在你没有领到之前，我得勒令你停业。’警察说。
“I quit selling and went back to the hotel. I was talking to the landlordlandlord n.房东， 地主， (旅馆等的)老板 about it.
“我收掉摊子，回到旅馆。我把事情经过告诉了旅馆老板。
“‘Oh， you wont stand no show in Fisher Hill，’ says he. ‘Dr. Hoskins， the only doctor here， is a brotherinlaw of the Mayor， and they wont allow no fake doctor to practice in town.’
“‘哦，你这行买卖在费希尔山是干不下去的。’他说。‘霍斯金斯大夫是惟一的医师，又是镇长的小舅子，他们不允许冒牌郎中在这个镇上行医。’
“‘I dont practice medicine，’ says I， ‘Ive got a State peddlers license， and I take out a city one wherever they demand it.’
“‘我并没有行医啊，’我说，‘我有一张州颁的小贩执照，必要的话，我可以领一张市的执照。’
“I went to the Mayors office the next morning and they told me he hadnt showed up yet. They didnt know when hed be down. So Doc Waughhoo huncheshunch n.圆形之隆起物， 肉峰， 预感， 大块 vt.弯腰驼背，弓起背部，耸肩 vi.向前移动， 隆起 down again in a hotel chair and lights a jimpsonweed regalia， and waits.
“第二天早晨，我来到镇长办公室，他们说镇长还没有来，什么时候来可说不准。于是沃胡大夫只好再回到旅馆，在椅子上坐着，点起一支雪茄烟干等着。
“By and by a young man in a blue necktienecktie n.领带 slips into the chair next to me and asks the time.
“没多久，一个打蓝色领带的年轻人磨磨蹭蹭地坐到我旁边的椅子上，问我有几点钟了。
“‘Half past ten，’ says I， ‘and you are Andy Tucker. Ive seen you work. Wasnt it you that put up the Great Cupid Combination package on the Southern States？ Lets see， it was a Chilian diamond engagement ringengagement ring n.订婚戒指， a wedding ring， a potato masher， a bottle of soothing syrup and Dorothy Vernon—all for fifty cents.’
“‘十点半，’我说，‘你不是安迪·塔克吗？我见过你玩的把戏。你不是在南方各州推销“丘比特什锦大礼盒”吗？让我想想，那里面有一枚智利钻石订婚戒指，一枚结婚戒指，一个土豆捣碎器，一瓶镇静糖浆和一张多乐西·弗农的照片——一共只卖五毛钱。’
“Andy was pleased to hear that I remembered him. He was a good street man， and he was more than that—he respected his professionprofession n.职业， 专业， 表白， 宣布， and he was satisfied with 300 per cent. profit. He had plenty of offers to go into the illegitimate drug and garden seed business， but he was never to be tempted off of the straight path.
“安迪听说我还记得他，觉得十分高兴。他是一个出色的街头推销员；不仅如此——他还尊重自己的行业，赚到百分之三百的利润就已满足了。人家一再拉他去做非法的贩卖假药的勾当，可是怎么也不能引他离开康庄大道。
“I wanted a partner， so Andy and me agreed to go out together. I told him about the situation in Fisher Hill and how finances was low on account of the local mixture of politics and jalapjalap n.泻药. Andy had just got in on the train that morning. He was pretty low himself， and was going to canvass the whole town for a few dollars to build a new battleship by popular subscriptionsubscription n.捐献， 订金， 订阅， 签署， 同意， ［医］下标处方 at Eureka Springs. So we went out and sat on the porchporch n.门廊， 走廊 and talked it over.
“我正需要一个搭档，安迪同我便谈妥了合伙。我向他分析了费希尔山的情况，告诉他由于当地的政治同泻药纠缠在一起，买卖不很顺利。安迪是坐当天早班火车到这里的。他自己手头也不宽裕，打算在镇上募集一些钱，到尤里加喷泉去造一艘新的兵舰。我们便出去，坐在门廊上从长计议。