他叫博伦虬茨威克兹，是校橄榄球队的一名后卫。俄亥俄州立大学那时拥有一支国内最好的球队，博伦虬茨威克兹就是其中最杰出的球星。
要获得打球的资格，他的学习就必须跟上趟，这可是一件极其困难的事情，因为他笨得像公牛。
很多教授大都对他睁一只眼闭一只眼，想办法让他通过。我们的经济学教授是一个消瘦、胆小的人，名叫巴瑟姆。他在博伦虬茨威克兹回答问题时总是给予最多暗示，问题的内容也最简单。
One day when we were on the subject of transportation and distributiondistribution n.分发，分配；分布，发送，发行， it came Bolenciecwczs turn to answer a question， “Name one means of transportation，” the professor said to him.
No light came into the big tackles eyes. “Just any means of transportation，” said the professor. Bolenciecwcz sat staring at him. “That is” pursued the professor， “any medium， agencyagency n.代理处， 行销处， 代理， 中介， or method of going form one place to another.”
Bolenciecwcz had the look of a man who is being led into a trap. “You may choose among steam， horsedrawnhorsedrawn adj. 马拉的(车)， or electrically propelledpropel vt.推进， 驱使 vehicles，” said the instructor. “I might suggest the one which we commonly take in making long journeys across land.”
有一天，我们的学习内容有关运输和分配，又轮到博伦虬茨威克兹回答问题了。“说出一种运输工具的名称。”教授对他说。
通过这个大个子后卫的眼神我们并不能发现什么。“什么运输工具都行。”教授补充道，博伦虬茨威克兹坐着干瞪眼。“也就是说，”教授继续引导道，“通过任何媒介，途经或方法，从一个地方到另外一个地方。”
博伦虬茨威克兹看上去陷入了迷茫。“你可以在蒸汽、马拉或者电力驱动的运载工具当中进行选择，”老师说道，“我建议你说说我们陆路长途旅行通常使用的那一种。”
There was a profound silence in which everybody stirred uneasilyuneasily adv.不安地， 担心地，不自在地，不稳定地， including Bolenciecwcz and Mr.Bassum. Mr.Bassum abruptly broke this silence in an amazing manner. “Choochoochoo，” he said， in a low voice， and turned instantly scarlet scarlet adj.猩红的， 鲜红的， 深红的. He glanced appealingly around the room.
All of us， of course， shared Mr.Bassums desire that Bolenciecwcz should stay abreast abreast adv.并肩地， 并排地 of the class in economics. For the Illinois game， one of the hardest and most important of the season， was only a week off. “Toot， toot， tootoooooot！” some student with a deep voice moaned moan vi.发出呻吟声， 抱怨， 哀悼， and we all looked encouragingly at Bolenciecwcz. Somebody else gave a fine imitation imitation n.模仿， 效法， 冒充， 赝品， 仿造物 of a locomotive locomotive n.机车， 火车头 letting off steam.
教室里一片寂静，同学们都不自在地扭动着身体，博伦虬茨威克兹和巴瑟姆先生也不例外。巴瑟姆先生以一种令人惊讶的举动打破了这种寂静。“噗-噗-噗。”他小声说道，顿时满脸绯红。他恳求地瞥了全班同学一眼。
当然，我们所有的人都与巴瑟姆先生怀有同样的愿望，希望博伦虬茨威克兹能与这个经济学班上的同学并肩前进，因为这个赛季的一场最为艰巨、最为重要的比赛，也就是那场伊利诺斯比赛，一个星期以后就要举行了。“嘟，嘟，嘟-嘟……！”有个学生低吟道，我们都用鼓励的目光看着博伦虬茨威克兹，又有一个人模仿了火车头放气的声音，模仿得惟妙惟肖。
Mr.Bassum himself rounded off the little show. “Ding， dong， ding， dong，” he said， hopefully. Bolenciecwcz was staring at the floor now， trying to think， his great brow furrowed furrow n.犁沟， 皱纹， his huge hands rubbing together， his face red.“How did you come to college this year， Mr.Bolenciecwcz？” asked the professor. “Chuffa chuffa， chuffa chuffa.”“Mfather sent me，” said the football player.“Whats on？” asked Bassum.“I got an allowance，” said the tackle， in a low， husky voice， obviously embarrassed embarrass vt.使困窘， 使局促不安， 阻碍， 麻烦.“No， no.” said Bassum， “Name a means of transportation. What did you ride here on？”“Train，” said Bolenciecwcz.“Quite right，” said the professor. “Now， Mr. Nugent， will you tell us —”
巴瑟姆先生本人也在尽力完成这次展示。“丁当，丁当。”他一边提示，一边脸带希望。满怀着希望。此刻博伦虬茨威克兹正盯着地板，尽力在思考，巨大的额头紧皱着，两只大手搓来搓去，满脸通红。
“今年你是怎么来学校的，博伦虬茨威克兹先生？”教授问道，“咔嚓，咔嚓，咔嚓。”
“我爸爸送我来的，”这位橄榄球队员说道。
“靠的是什么？”巴瑟姆说道。
“我得到了一笔津贴，”这位后卫说显然非常不安，他的回答低沉、沙哑。
“不，不，”巴瑟姆说道，“说出一种运输工具的名称，你是乘坐什么来的？”
“火车，”博伦虬茨威克兹说道。
“完全正确，”教授说道，“现在，纽金特先生，你能不能告诉我们——”。
If I went through anguish anguish n.痛苦， 苦恼 in botany and economics—for different reasons—gymnasium gymnasium n.健身房， 体育馆 work was even worse. I dont even like to think about it.
They wouldnt let you play games or join in the exercises with your glasses on and I couldnt see with mine off. I bumped bump v.碰(伤)， 撞(破)， 颠簸 into professors， horizontal bars， agricultural students， and swinging iron rings. Not being able to see， I could take it but I couldnt dish it out.
Also， in order to pass gymnasium (and you had to pass it to graduate) you had to learn to swim if you didnt know how. I didnt like the swimming instructor， and after all these years I still dont.
I never swam but I passed my gym work anyway， by having another student give my gymnasium number (978) and swim across the pool in my place.
如果说植物学和经济学课让我非常痛苦的话——当然痛苦的原因不同，那么体育课就更惨不忍睹了。真是不堪回首。