I realize with some relief that there is a bird out there for me, there is another person, not necessarily a lover perhaps just a friend, but there is someone out there who is my soul mate.
A Little Piece of Me
When he told me he was leaving I felt like a vase which has just smashed. There were pieces of me all over the tidy, tan tiles. He kept talking, telling me why he was leaving, explaining it was for the best, I could do better, it was his fault and not mine.
我开始认识到,总有那么一只鸟,或是一个人在前面等着我。或许不是爱人,只是朋友,但他一定是我灵魂的友伴。
生命的过客
当他告诉我要离开的时候,我感觉就如碎裂的花瓶,跌落在褐色的瓷砖地板上。他不停说着,告诉我他为何要离开,解释说这是最好的选择,我会找到更好的,都是他的错,不关我的事。
I had heard it before many times and yet somehow was still not immune immune 不受影响的 ; perhaps one did not become immune to such felonyfelony n.重罪 .
He left and I tried to get on with my life. I filled the kettle kettle n.壶, 罐, 釜, 鼓 and put it on to boil, I took out my old red mug mug n.杯子 and filled it with coffee watching as each coffee granule granule n.小粒, 颗粒, 细粒 slipped into the bone china. That was what my life had been like, endless omissions of coffee granules, somehow never managing to make that cup of coffee.
Somehow when the kettle piped its finishing warning I pretended not to hear it. Thats what Mikes leaving had been like, sudden and with an awful awful adj.可怕的, 威严的, <口>极度的, 糟糕的 finality.
虽然这些话我已听过多次,但却仍旧无法承受,或许在如此重大的打击之下,无人能做到无动于衷。
他走了,我试着继续我的生活。我烧开水,又拿出古老的红色杯子,看着咖啡末一点点地落入半透明的瓷杯里。这正是我的生活写照——不断地往下落的咖啡末。不知为何,我从来没有真正地泡成一杯咖啡。
水开了,我假装没听到水壶发出的警报声。这使我很难理解我的所为。就如同迈克的离去,那么突然,而且无法挽回。
I would rather just wallow in wallow in v.沉溺于 uncertainty than have things finished. I laughed at myself. Imagine getting all philosophical and sentimental about a mug of coffee. I must be getting old.
And yet it was a young woman who stared back at me from the mirror. A young woman full of promise and hope, a young woman with bright eyes and full lips just waiting to take on the world. I never loved Mike anyway. Besides there are more important things. More important than love, I insist to myself firmly. The lid goes back on the coffee just like closure on the whole Mike experience.
He doesnt haunt haunt v.神鬼出没 my dreams as I feared that night. Instead I am flying far across fields and woods, looking down on those below me. Suddenly I fall to the ground and it is only when I wake up that I realize I was shot by a hunter, brought down by the burden of not the bullet but the soul of the man who shot it.
我宁愿忍受分与不分的煎熬,也不愿意事情就这么结束了。这样想着,我就开始嘲笑自己,只是因为一杯咖啡,我就变得如此多愁善感,我一定是老了吧。
可镜子里正盯着我看的那个女孩仍然那样年轻!明眸皓齿,充满了美好的前途与希望,美好的明天正等待着她。无所谓,反正我从未爱过迈克。更何况,生命中还有比爱更重要的东西在等待着我,我坚定地不断对自己说。我盖好咖啡罐,也将所有关于迈克的记忆一同尘封起来。
那晚,他并没有像我担心的那样出现在我的梦境中。梦中,我飞过田野和森林,俯视着大地。突然之间,我掉下来。就在半梦半醒间,我发现自己已被猎人打中了,但将我击落的并非他的子弹,而是他的灵魂。
I realize later, with some degree of understanding, that Mike was the hunter holding me down and I am the bird that longs to fly. The next night my dream is similar to the previous nights, but without the hunter. I fly free until I meet another bird who flies with me in perfect harmony.
I realize with some relief that there is a bird out there for me, there is another person, not necessarily a lover perhaps just a friend, but there is someone out there who is my soul mate mate n.配偶, 对手, 助手 .
I think about being a broken vase again and realize that I have glued myself back together, what Mike has is merely a little part of my time in earth, a little understanding of my physical being. He has only, a little piece of me.
后来,我才逐渐意识到,原来那个将我击落的猎人就是迈克,而我则是渴望高飞的那只小鸟。第二天晚上,我竟然做了与前晚相似的梦,但却没了猎人,我一直在天空中自由地飞翔,直到遇上另一只小鸟和我。
我开始认识到,总有那么一只鸟,或是一个人在前面等着我。或许不是爱人,只是朋友,但他一定是我灵魂的友伴。
我曾想起自己是裂为碎片的花瓶,但现在,我已经将它重新修复,迈克只是我生命中的小小一部分,他仅仅了解我的一部分,他仅仅是我生命中的一个过客。
咖啡,温暖中带着点酸楚,是对记忆的一次回味。我们常常会有这样的感觉,在我们人生行走的过程中,我们会遇到这样或那样的过客,和他们也许是擦肩而过,也许是萍水相逢,也许是生死相交,当我们偶尔想起时,总会有一种淡淡的心绪。生命的片段中,也总会有他们的影子出现,毕竟他们曾经伴我们走过某段岁月。过客,生命中的小小部分,融入我们人生路上的点点滴滴,终会化作一份释然的记忆。