几周后，两人见面了。谢尔盖浑身缠满了绷带。“难道你没有听我的建议？”伊凡问。
“我当然是按你的建议做的。我站在一个洞前并吹哨子，”谢尔盖回答说。
“出来了什么？”
“向着我来的，”谢尔盖说，“像是穿越西伯利亚的快车。”
I，You and She
Peter was a clever boy. On his first day at school， he learned three words： I， You and She. The teacher taught him how to make sentences with those words. The teacher said，“I， I am your teacher； (then pointing to a girl) She， She is your classmate； You， You are my student.
When Peter went home， his father asked him what he had learned at school. Peter said at once， “I， I am your teacher； (then pointing to his mother) She， She is your classmate； You， You are my student.” His father got angry and said， “I， I am your father； (then pointing to his wife) She， She is your mother； You， You are my son. ”
The next morning at school， the teacher asked Peter if he had learned the three words by heart.“Yes，” he said proudly， “I， I am your father； (then pointing to a girl) She， She is your mother； You， You are my son.” Notes：
(1) learn sth. by heart谙记；能背出
(2) proudly adv.自豪地
我，你，她
彼得是个聪明的孩子。在学校的第一天，他学了三个词：我，你，她。老师教他如何用这三个词造句子。老师说：“我，我是你的老师；（然后指着一个女孩）她，她是你的同学；你，你是我的学生。”
彼得回到家里，爸爸问他学了什么。彼得马上说：“我，我是你的老师；（然后指着他的妈妈）她，她是你的同学；你，你是我的学生。”他的爸爸听了非常生气，说：“我，我是你的爸爸；（然后指着他的妻子）她，她是你的妈妈；你，你是我的儿子。”
第二天，老师问彼得是否用心学那三个词了。“是的，”彼得自豪地说，“我，我是你的爸爸；（然后指着一个女孩）她，她是你的妈妈；你，你是我的儿子。”
I Can，t Let Him Get Away
A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow， she thought， this crab is really special. I can，t let him get away.So they got married immediately.
The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs， and got upset. “What happened？” she asked. “You used to walk straight before we were married.”
“Oh， honey， ” he replied， “I can，t drink that much every day. ”Notes：
(1) crab n.螃蟹
(2) sideways adv.侧着；斜着
不能让他跑了
一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹，便要娶她为妻。她注意到他走路是直着走，而不是横着走。哇！她想，这只雄蟹可真特别，我可不能让他跑了。因此他们立刻结婚了。
第二天，她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了？”她问，“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的。”
“哦，宝贝，”他回答说，“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”
I Can，t Stop Now
The woman ahead of me in a long line at the department of motor vehicles was reading a paperback romance novel. I inched along behind her and when her turn finally came， she stepped aside， saying “You go on ahead. I can，t stop now. He，s just carried her into his castle！”Notes：
(1) paperback n.平装书
(3) inch v.慢性移动；渐进
(2) romance n.爱情故事
(4) castle n.城堡
我无法停下
人们在汽车商场里排着长队。排在我前面的是一位妇女，她在读一部平装本的小说。我在她的身后一点点向前挪动。终于轮到她了，她却让开了，说：“你先来。我现在无法停下来，他把她带进城堡啦！”
I Never Work after Supper
A pennypinching farmer didn，t want his hired hand to stop working. One morning， he told the farmhand， “It，s such a nuisance to come in from the field，， wash up for lunch and take time to eat. Why don，t we save time and eat lunch now？”
The hired man agreed. The farm，s wife brought in some cold meat and fried potatoes， and the two men ate again.
When they had finished， the cheap farmer said， “While we，re still at the table， let，s have supper too. ” They were now served steak， boiled potatoes and mixed vegetables， and they ate once more.
“Now that the meals are out of the way， ” the farmer announced， we can go out and work all day without interruption. ”
“Oh， no， ” the farmhand answered. “ I never work after supper.” Notes：
(1) pennypinching adj.吝啬的
(2) hired hand n. 帮手
(3) nuisance n. 讨厌的事物、人、行为等
(4) wash up洗
(5) be out of the way解决某事
(6) interruption n.打断某人
我晚饭后从不工作
一位农场主非常吝啬，不想让他雇佣的帮手停下来休息。一天早上，他对帮手说：“从地里回来，又要洗手吃饭，又花时间，真是太不方便了。我们何不省点时间，现在就吃午饭呢？
雇员同意了。农场主的妻子端进来一些冷肉和油炸土豆。于是，两个人又开始吃起来。
吃完后，吝啬鬼说：“既然我们还在桌子边，让我们连晚饭也吃了吧。”这次上桌的有排骨、煮土豆和杂烩青菜。于是两个人又吃起来。
“现在三顿饭都吃过了，”农场主宣称道，“我们便可以出去一整天不停地干活了。”
“哦，不，”那帮手回答说，“晚饭后我从不工作。”
I Understand Him
While eating in a restaurant， I reprimanded my fouryearold son for speaking with his mouth full. “Mump umn Kmpfhm，” was all I heard.
“Drew，” I scolded， “no one can understand a word you，re saying.”
“He says he wants some ketchup，” my husband said calmly
A woman sitting nearby leaned over and asked， “How in the world did you understand him？”
“I，m a dentist，” my husband explained. Notes：
(1) reprimand v.申斥
(2) scold v.责备
(3) ketchup n.番茄酱
(4) How in the world did you understand him？你究竟如何明白他的话的呢？句中“ in the world”用来表示强调，加强语气。
我懂他的话
在饭店吃饭的时候，我申斥我4岁的儿子，因为他满嘴食物在说话。“喔、呢”，我听到的就是这些。
“祖，”我责备道，“没人明白你在说什么。”
“他说他要一些番茄酱，”我丈夫平静地说。
坐在旁边的一位妇女靠过来问道：“你究竟如何明白他的话的呢？”
“我是牙医。”我丈夫解释道。
I Want Her to Go Nuts
Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist， “Paint me with diamond earrings， a diamond necklace， emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.”
“But you，re not wearing any of those things.”
“I know，” said Mrs. Flinders.“ It，s in case I should die before my husband. I，m sure he，d remarry right away， and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry.” Notes：
(1) to have her portrait painted让人给她画像 to have sth. done.要（让）别人做某事
(2) portrait n.肖像
(3) earring n. 耳环
(4) emerald n.祖母绿
(5) bracelets n.手镯
(6) ruby n.红宝石
(7) pendant n.垂环
(8) go nuts = go mad发疯
我要让她发疯
福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。她告诉那位肖像画家说：“画我带着钻石耳环、钻石项链、祖母绿手镯，还有红宝石垂饰。”
“但你现在没带这其中的任何一样饰品。”
“我知道。”福林德斯夫人说，“万一我先我丈夫死去，我肯定他会立刻再婚。我要让那个女人为寻找这些珠宝而发疯。”
I Want to Get Out
A bar owner locked up his place at 2 a. m. and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang.“ What time do you open up in the morning？” he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire.
The owner was so furious， he slammed down the receiver and went back to bed. A few minutes later there was another call and he heard the same voice ask the same question. “Listen，” the owner shouted ，“there，s no sense in asking me what time I open because I wouldn，t let a person in your condition in-”
“I don，t want to get in，” the caller interjected. “I want to get out.”Notes：
(1) obviously adv.明显的
(2) inebriated adj.酒醉的
(3) slam v.砰然放下
(4) interject v.突然插话
我要出去
在凌晨两点，酒吧店主锁了店门，回家睡觉。他刚躺下几分钟，这时电话响了。“你早上几点营业？”他听到一位明显已醉醺醺的男子的声音。
店主非常气愤，砰地一声挂上电话又上床去睡。几分钟后又有一个电话，他听到还是那个声音问同样的问题。“听着，”店主嚷道，“不要问我什么时候营业，因为我不会让你这种人进——”
“我不是想进来，”那人打断他的话，“我要出去。”
I，m a Police Officer
When my husband， Jack， was a police officer， he once approached a home guarded by two ferocious dogs. They lunged at the screen door with such force that it opened， and they tore out into the yard.
Thinking quickly， Jack， stepped into the house， closing the door tightly behind him. “ It，s all right， ma，am，” he reassured the homeowner “ I，m a police officer.”
“Not a very brave one，”she observed.
Notes：
(1) guard v.保护；保卫
(2) ferocious adj.凶猛的；残忍的
(3) lunge v.冲刺；前冲
(4) tear v.急奔；冲
(5) reassure v.消除对……的恐惧；使安心
我是警察
警察的时候，一次他走近有两只恶狗看守的庭院。那两只狗奋力地扑抓纱门，把门弄开了并冲到院子里。
杰克反应迅速，三步并两步地跨入房子里，牢牢地关上身后的门。“没事了，女士，”他安慰家主道，“我是警察。”
“可不是很勇敢的一个。”她淡淡地说。
Going to Let My Chauffeur Answer It