6. Only in America，do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless “junk” in the garage.
7. Only in America，do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won，t miss a call from someone we didn，t want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America，do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America，do we use the word “politics” to describe the process so well： “Poli” in Latin meaning “many” and “tics” meaning “bloodsucking creatures”.
10. Only in America，do they have driveup ATM machines with Braille lettering.
只有在美国
1. 只有在美国，比萨饼能比救护车更快到达你的门口。
2. 只有在美国，在滑冰场的门口有残疾人的专用停车位。
3. 只有在美国，药店让病人走到最后面去取药，但是健康人却可以在最前面买到烟。
4.只有在美国，人们吃双层汉堡，大薯条，却喝减肥可乐。
5. 只有在美国，银行让大门敞开，却把笔用链子固定在柜台上。
6. 只有在美国，人们把价值成千上万的汽车停放在车道上，却把一钱不值的“垃圾”放在车库里。
7. 只有在美国，人们用电话答录机来屏蔽不想接到的电话，却又有“来电等候”功能，生怕错过一个其实并不想接到的电话。
8.只有在美国，做热狗的香肠是10个一包，做热狗的面包却是8个一包。
9. 只有在美国，政治“Politics”这个词真是贴切到了家：“Poli”在拉丁语中是“很多” 的意思，而“tics”是“吸血生物” 的意思。
10. 只有在美国，开着车取钱的自动柜员机刻有盲文。
I Wasn，t Asleep
When a group of women got on the car， every seat was alreadyoccupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep，and fearing he might miss his stop， he nudged him and said： “Wakeup， sir！”
“I wasn，t asleep，” the man answered.
“Not asleep？ But you had your eyes closed.”
“I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in acrowded car.”
我没有睡着
当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好像是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！”
“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。
“没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀。”
“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”
Today Is the Last Day
A man was at a bar， slowly sipping his beer and looking very gloomygloomy adj.黑暗的， 阴沉的， 令人沮丧的， 阴郁的.
“What，s the problem？” asked the bartenderbartendern.酒吧间销售酒精饮料的人， 酒吧间男招待. “You look so sad.”
“My wife and I had a fight. She told me she wasn，t going to talk to mefor 30 days.”
“That should make you happy！” said the bartender.
“It did，” said the man. “But that was 29 days ago. Today is the last day.”
今天是最后一天一个男人坐在酒吧旁慢慢地喝着啤酒，显得十分忧郁。
“您有什么事儿吗？” 酒吧招待问道。“您看上去这么沮丧。”
“我和妻子吵了架。她说她将30天不跟我说话。”
“那你应该感到高兴才是啊。”
“我确实觉得高兴，”男人回答，“可那是29天前的事了，今天是最后一天。”
Good News and Bad NewsThe soldiers had been marching and fighting， they were dirty， hot andtired. One day， the general announced： “My men， I have some good newsand some bad news for you. Which one would you like first？”
“The good news！” they all shouted.
“OK，” said the General. “The good news is that you will each be receivinga complete change of clothing.”
“Hurrah！” chorused the soldiers.
“And now for the bad news. Jack， you will change with John. John， youwill change with Tom. Tom， you will change with Robert. Robert ...”
好消息和坏消息
士兵们连续的行军，作战，他们又累又热又脏。一天，将军宣布：“士兵们，我有一些好消息和坏消息要告诉你们。你们愿意先听哪个呢？”
“好消息！”他们嚷道。
“好吧，”将军说，“好消息就是你们每个人都可以彻底的换一身衣服。”
“乌拉！”士兵们高兴地大叫起来。
“现在呢，该是坏消息了。杰克，你将和约翰换衣服。约翰，你和汤姆换。汤姆，你和罗伯特换。罗伯特……”
Can We Have Our Teacher Back？
Once a superintendent of schoolssuperintendent of schools n.地方教育官员 was visiting a threeroom school. One room was very noisy， so the man grabbedgrab v.抢夺， 攫取， 夺取 a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner.
Five minutes later， a small boy came out of the first room and said， “When can we have our teacher back？”
能让我们的老师回去吗
有一次，一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹，因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人，把他带进另一间教室，并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后，一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来，问道，“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢？”
The Looney Bin
Late one night at the insane asylum asylum n.庇护， 收容所， 救济院， 精神病院one inmateinmate n.同住者， 同室者(特指在医院、监狱)， 居民 shouted， “I am Napoleon！”Another one said， “How do you know？”
The first inmate said， “God told me！”
Just then， a voice from another room shouted， “I did not！”
疯人院
一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿破仑！”另一个说：“你怎么知道？”第一个人说：“上帝对我说的！”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：“我没说！”
Jesus，s Telly