If we know we are going to be rebuked anyhow，isn’t it far better to beat the other person to it and do it ourselves？Isn’t itmuch easier to listen to self-criticism than to bear condemnation from alien lips？Say about yourself all the derogatory things you know the other person is thinking or wants to say or intends to say—and say them before that person has a chance to say them.The chances are a hundred to one that a generous，forgiving attitude will be taken and your mistakes will be minimized just as the mounted policeman did with me and Rex.
Any fool can try to defend his or her mistakes—and most fools do—but it raises one above the herd and gives one a feeling of nobility and exultation to admit one’s mistakes.For example，one of the most beautiful things that history records about Robert E.Lee is the way he blamed himself and only himself for the failure of Pickett’s charge at Gettysburg.
Pickett’s charge was undoubtedly the most brilliant and picturesque attack that ever occurred in the Western world.General George E.Pickett himself was picturesque.He wore his hair so long that his auburn locks almost touched his shoulders；and，like Napoleon in his Italian campaigns，he wrote ardent love-letters almost daily while on the battlefield.His devoted troops cheered him that tragic July afternoon as he rode off jauntily toward the Union lines，his cap set at a rakish angle over his right ear.They cheered and they followed him，man touching man，rank pressing rank，with banners flying and bayonets gleaming in the sun.It was a gallant sight.Daring.Magnificent.A murmur of admiration ran through the Union lines as they beheld it.
Pickett’s troops swept forward at any easy trot.All the time，the enemy’s cannon was tearing ghastly holes in their ranks，Suddenly the Union infantry rose from behind the stone wall on Cemetery Ridge where they had been hiding and fired volley after volley into Pickett’s onrushing troops.The crest of the hill was a sheet of flame，a slaughterhouse，a blazing volcano.In a fewminutes，all of Pickett’s brigade commanders except one weredown，and four-fifths of his five thousand men had fallen.
General Lewis A.Armistead，leading the troops in the final plunge，ran forward，vaulted over the stone wall，and，waving his cap on the top of his sword，shouted：“Give ’em the steel，boys！”
They did.They leaped over the wall，bayoneted their enemies，smashed skulls with clubbed muskets，and planted the battleflags of the South on Cemetery Ridge.The banners waved there only for a moment.But that moment，brief as it was，recorded the high-water mark of the Confederacy.
Pickett’s charge—brilliant，heroic—was nevertheless the beginning of the end.Lee had failed.He could not penetrate the North.And he knew it.The South was doomed.
Lee was so saddened，so shocked，that he sent in his resignation and asked Jefferson Davis，the president of the Confederacy，to appoint “a younger and abler man.”If Lee had wanted to blame the disastrous failure of Pickett’s charge on someone else，he could have found a score of alibis.Some of his division commanders had failed him.The cavalry hadn’t arrived in time to support the infantry attack.This had gone wrong and that had gone awry.
But Lee was far too noble to blame others.As Pickett’s beaten and bloody troops struggled back to the Confederate lines，RobertE.Lee rode out to meet them all alone and greeted them with a self-condemnation that was little short of sublime.“All this has been my fault，”he confessed.“I and I alone have lost this battle.”
Few generals in all history have had the courage and character to admit that.When we are right，let’s try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking，and when we are wrong—and that will be surprisingly often，if we are honest with ourselves—let’s admit our mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm.Not onlywill that technique produce astonishing results；but，believe it or not，it is a lot more fun，under the circumstances，than trying to defend oneself.
Remember the old proverb：“By fighting you never get enough，but by yielding you get more than you expected.”
PRINCIPLE 3：
If you are wrong，admit it quickly and emphatically.
Chapter 13
A Drop of Honey
Back in 1915，John D.Rockefeller，Jr was the most fiercely despised man in Colorado，One of the bloodiest strikes in the history of American industry had been shocking the state for two terrible years.Irate，belligerent miners were demanding higher wages from the Colorado Fuel and Iron Company；Rockefeller controlled that company.Property had been destroyed，troops had been called out.Blood had been shed.Strikers had been shot，their bodies riddled with bullets.
At a time like that，with the air seething with hatred，Rockefeller wanted to win the strikers to his way of thinking.And he did it.How？
Here’s the story.After weeks spent in making friends，Rockefeller addressed the representatives of the strikers.This speech，in its entirety，is a masterpiece.It produced astonishing results.It calmed the tempestuous waves of hate that threatened to engulf Rockefeller.It won him a host of admirers.The opening of that remarkable speech follows.