Mrs.Carnegie and I had dinner at a friend’s house in Chicago.While carving the meat,he did something wrong.I didn’t notice it;and I wouldn’t have cared even if I had noticed it.But his wife saw it and jumped down his throat right in front of us.“John,”she cried,“watch what you are doing!Can’t you ever learn to serve properly!”
Then she said to us:“He is always making mistakes.He just doesn’t try.”Maybe he didn’t try to carve;but I certainly give him credit for trying to live with her for twenty years.Frankly,I would rather have eaten a couple of hot dogs with mustard—in an atmosphere of peace—than to have dined on Peking duck and shark fins while listening to her scolding.
Shortly after that experience,Mrs.Carnegie and I had some friends at our home for dinner.Just before they arrived,Mrs.Carnegie found that three of the napkins didn’t match the tablecloth.
“I rushed to the cook,”she told me later,“and found that the other three napkins had gone to the laundry.The guests were at the door.There was no time to change.I felt like bursting into tears!All I could think was:‘Why did this stupid mistake have tospoil my whole evening?’then I thought—well—why let it?I went in to dinner,determined to have a good time.And I did.I would much rather our friends think I was a sloppy housekeeper,”she told me,“than a nervous,bad-tempered one.And anyhow,as far as I could make out,no one noticed the napkins!”
A well-known legal maxim says:De minimis non curat lex—“the law does not concern itself with trifles.”And neither should the worrier—if he wants peace of mind.
Much of the time,all we need to overcome the annoyance of trifles is to affect a shifting of emphasis—set up a new,and pleasurable point of view in the mind.My friend Homer Croy,who wrote They Had to See Paris and a dozen other books,gives a wonderful example of how this can be done.He used to be driven half crazy,while working on a book,by the rattling of the radiators in his New York apartment.The steam would bang and sizzle—and he would sizzle with irritation as he sat at his desk.
“Then,”says Homer Croy,“I went with some friends on a camping expedition.While listening to the limbs crackling in the roaring fire,I thought how much they sounded like the crackling of the radiators.Why should I like one and hate the other?When I went home I said to myself:‘the crackling of the limbs in the fire was a pleasant sound;the sound of the radiators is about the same—I’ll go to sleep and not worry about the noise.’And I did.For a few days I was conscious of the radiators;but soon I forgot all about them.
“And so it is with many petty worries.We dislike them and get into a stew,all because we exaggerate their importance....”
Disraeli said:“Life is too short to be little.”“Those words,”said Andre Maurois in This Week magazine,“have helped me through many a painful experience:often we allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget....Here weare on this earth,with only a few more decades to live,and we lose many irreplaceable hours brooding over grievances that,in a year’s time,will be forgotten by us and by everybody.No,let us devote our life to worth-while actions and feelings,to great thoughts,real affections and enduring undertakings.For life is too short to be little.”
Even so illustrious a figure as Rudyard Kipling forgot at times that “Life is too short to be little”.The result?He and his brother-in-law fought the most famous court battle in the history of Vermont—a battle so celebrated that a book has been written about it:Rudyard Kipling’s Vermont Feud.
The story goes like this:Kipling married a Vermont girl,Caroline Balestier,built a lovely home in Brattleboro,Vermont;settled down and expected to spend the rest of his life there.His brother-in-law,Beatty Balestier,became Kipling’s best friend.The two of them worked and played together.
Then Kipling bought some land from Balestier,with the understanding that Balestier would be allowed to cut hay off it each season.One day,Balestier found Kipling laying out a flower garden on this hayfield.His blood boiled.He hit the ceiling.Kipling fired right back.The air over the Green Mountains of Vermont turned blue!
A few days later,when Kipling was out riding his bicycle,his brother-in-law drove a wagon and a team of horses across the road suddenly and forced Kipling to take a spill.And Kipling the man who wrote:“If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you”—He lost his own head,and swore out a warrant for Balestier’s arrest !A sensational trial followed.Reporters from the big cities poured into the town.The news flashed around the world.Nothing was settled.This quarrel caused Kipling and his wife to abandon their American home forthe rest of their lives.All that worry and bitterness over a meretrifle!
Pericles said,twenty-four centuries ago:“Come,gentlemen,we sit too long on trifles.”We do,indeed!Here is one of the most interesting stories that Dr.Harry Emerson Fosdick ever told—a story about the battles won and lost by a giant of the forest:
On the slope of Long’s Peak in Colorado lies the ruin of 3gigantic tree.Naturalists tell us that it stood for some four hundred years.It was a seedling when Columbus landed at San Salvador,and half grown when the Pilgrims settled at Plymouth.During the course of its long life it was struck by lightning fourteen times,and the innumerable avalanches and storms of four centuries thundered past it.It survived them all.In the end,however,an army of beetles attacked the tree and leveled it to the ground.The insects ate their way through the bark and gradually destroyed the inner strength of the tree by their tiny but incessant attacks.A forest giant which age had not withered,nor lightning blasted,nor storms subdued,fell at last before beetles so small that a man could crush them between his forefinger and his thumb.