She started teaching in the tiny village of Twin Valley,Minnesota,and rose until she became professor of journalism and literature at Augustana College in Sioux Falls,South Dakota.She taught there for thirteen years,lecturing before women’s clubs and giving radio talks about books and authors.“In the back of my mind,”she writes,“there had always lurked a fear of total blindness.In order to overcome this,I had adopted a cheerful,almost hilarious,attitude towards life.”
Then in 1943,when she was fifty-two years old,a miracle happened:an operation at the famous Mayo Clinic.She could now see forty times as well as she had ever been able to see before.
A new and exciting world of loveliness opened before her.She now found it thrilling even to wash dishes in the kitchen sink.“I begin to play with the white fluffy suds in the dish-pan,”she writes.“I dip my hands into them and I pick up a ball of tiny soap bubbles.I hold them up against the light,and in each of them I can see the brilliant colours of a miniature rainbow.”
As she looked through the window above the kitchen sink,she saw “the flapping grey-black wings of the sparrows flying through the thick,falling snow.”
She found such ecstasy looking at the soap bubbles and sparrows that she closed her book with these words:“‘dear Lord,’I whisper,‘Our Father in Heaven,I thank Thee.I thank Thee.’”
Imagine thanking God because you can wash dishes and seerainbows in bubbles and sparrows flying through the snow!
You and I ought to be ashamed of ourselves.All the days of our years we have been living in a fairyland of beauty,but we have been too blind to see,too satiated to enjoy.
If we want to stop worrying and start living.Rule 4is:
Count your blessings—not your troubles!
Chapter 46
Find Yourself and Be Yourself:Remember There Is No One Else on Earth Like You
I have a letter from Mrs.Edith Allred,of Mount Airy,North Carolina:
“As a child,I was extremely sensitive and shy,”she says in her letter.“I was always overweight and my cheeks made me look even fatter than I was.I had an old-fashioned mother who thought it was foolish to make clothes look pretty.She always said:‘Wide will wear while narrow will tear’;and she dressed me accordingly.I never went to parties;never had any fun;and when I went to school,I never joined the other children in outside activities,not even athletics.I was morbidly shy.I felt I was ‘different’from everybody else,and entirely undesirable.
“When I grew up,I married a man who was several years my senior.But I didn’t change.My in-laws were a poised and self-confident family.They were everything I should have been but simply was not.I tried my best to be like them,but I couldn’t.Every attempt they made to draw me out of myself only drove me further into my shell.I became nervous and irritable.I avoided all friends.I got so bad I even dreaded the sound of the doorbell ringing!I was a failure.I knew it;and I was afraid my husband would find it out.So,whenever we were in public,I tried to be gay,and overacted my part.I knew I overacted;and I would be miserable for days afterwards.At last I became so unhappy that I could see no point in prolonging my existence.I began to think of suicide.”
What happened to change this unhappy woman’s life?Just a chance remark!
“A chance remark,”Mrs.Allred continued,“transformed my whole life.My mother-in-law was talking one day of how she brought her children up,and she said:‘No matter what happened,I always insisted on their being themselves.’...‘On being themselves.’...That remark is what did it!In a flash,I realised I had brought all this misery on myself by trying to fit myself into a pattern to which I did not conform.
“I changed overnight!I started being myself.I tried to make a study of my own personality.Tried to find out what I was.I studied my strong points.I learned all I could about colours and styles,and dressed in a way that I felt was becoming to me.I reached out to make friends.I joined an organisationa small one at first—and was petrified with fright when they put me on a programme.But each time I spoke,I gained a little courage.It took a long while—but today I have more happiness than I ever dreamed possible.In rearing my own children,I have always taught them the lesson I had to learn from such bitter experience:No matter what happens,always be yourself!”
This problem of being willing to be yourself is “as old as history,”says Dr.James Gordon Gilkey,“and as universal as human life.”This problem of being unwilling to be yourself is the hidden spring behind many neuroses and psychoses and complexes.Angelo Patri has written thirteen books and thousands of syndicated newspaper articles on the subject of child training,and he says:“Nobody is so miserable as he who longs to be somebody and something other than the person he is in body and mind.”
This craving to be something you are not is especially rampant in Hollywood.Sam Wood,one of Hollywood’s best-known directors,says the greatest headache he has with aspiring young actors isexactly this problem:to make them be themselves.They all want to be second-rate Lana Turners,or third-rate Clark Gables.“The public has already had that flavour,”Sam Wood keeps telling them;“now it wants something else.”
Before he started directing such pictures as Good-bye,Mr.Chips and For Whom the Bell Tolls,Sam Wood spent years in the real-estate business,developing sales personalities.He declares that the same principles apply in the business world as in the world of moving pictures.You won’t get anywhere playing the ape.You can’t be a parrot.“Experience has taught me,”says Sam Wood,“that it is safest to drop,as quickly as possible,people who pretend to be what they aren’t.”