“Yeah，I heard you the last hundred times. No pranks. Got it.”
Eli brought it up again at suppertime，when Mom and Dad were home.“For my birthday I thought we could go to Mr. Mike，s for pizza. But no April Fools，jokes，remember？”
Mom said，“Honey，we remember.”
Dad said，“Eli，relax！ Mr. Mike，s it is. Do you want to bring Rob？”
Eli didn，t trust any of them.
In the morning，his eyes popped open，and his first thought was be careful. Still in bed，he looked around. His room seemed untouched： no water bucket propped over the door to drench him， no dried peas on the wood floor.
Eli got up and checked the drawer handles and doorknobs for yucky surprises. Nothing. His clothes weren，t pinned together in odd places. The pockets were empty.
The soap in the bathroom was just plain soap，and the shampoo bottle held nothing but shampoo. There wasn，t even plastic wrap covering the sink！ He peeked cautiously into the kitchen，and Mom smiled.“I，m making French toast if you want some.”she said.
The sweet cinnamon smell of French toast made Eli want to risk having a slice-almost. He shook his head and reached for the cereal. The milk tasted OK. So did the juice.
In school，Eli didn，t worry. The pranks there were pretty amateurish . Rob managed to fool Mrs. Karsten，though. In the middle of math，he stared at the ceiling above Mrs. Karsten，s head with widening eyes. He covered his mouth with one hand and pointed above her with the other. She actually ducked！
Mrs. Karsten got Rob back，and handed him a sealed note for his dad. She turned away fast，but Eli saw her snickering.
That evening，Eli，s family picked up Rob on the way to Mr. Mike，s.
“Hey，you know that note Mrs. Karsten gave me？”Rob asked.“My dad said it was just a coupon for cat food with April Fool！ written on it. I didn，t think teachers could play jokes！”
Eli shook his head，“Live and learn.”
They ate hamburger-and-olive pizza，Eli，s favorite. When the waiters came over to sing Happy Birthday，Eli covered his face and slid under the table，but that was just out of embarrassment.
They dropped Rob off at his apartment，and Eli figured he，d better keep his guard up. April 1st wasn，t over yet. As soon as they got home，Amy threw a gift-wrapped box at him.“Here，baby brother. Enjoy，I guess.”
Here it is，thought Eli.
He played it up-shaking the box，carefully undoing the ribbon，slowly peeling back the paper- and discovered the coolest new video game safely wrapped in plastic.“Urn，thanks.”
“No problem.”Amy started up the stairs.“I，m heading to bed.”
Eli，s parents had already given him a bike as an early present. So that was that.
Still，he lay awake，sure he，d be woken by a last-minute trick. Then，finally，it was midnight. His birthday was over-and so was April Fools，Day.
His mom came in to check on him，“Too excited to sleep？”
“Not exactly. I keep expecting pranks.”
“Hmm. Well，April Fool！”She grinned，kissed him on the forehead，and left.
So，they got me again-by not getting me，thought Eli. Next year. Next year it，s my turn. And he started planning.
“嘿，伊莱，你期待明天的生日吗？”罗伯问。
伊莱摇摇头，说：“你在开玩笑吗？你知道在愚人节过生日是什么样的吗？”说完，他朝罗伯挥挥手，跳下校 车往家里走。
每年，伊莱的家人都认为：开一个更大、更妙的愚人节玩笑一定会很有意思。那么，谁会成为那个被整的人呢？对，就是寿星，伊莱。包装精美的盒子——空的；冰柠檬汁——没有加糖；蛋糕糖衣上加了盐……
当伊莱回到家，他发现姐姐正在厨房。“艾米，你还记得我说过今年不要再搞恶作剧了吗？我是说真的。我从 没过过一个正常的生日。”说完他耸耸肩好让自己看起来不是在发牢骚。
“是的，我听你说了几百次了。不要恶作剧，知道了。”
晚餐时，爸爸妈妈都在家，伊莱又强调了一遍：“我想过生日的时候大家一起去麦克先生的店里吃比萨。但是，不要搞愚人节的恶作剧了，还记得吗？”
妈妈说：“亲爱的，我们记得呀。”
爸爸说：“伊莱，放轻松！我们就去麦克先生的店里。你想邀请罗伯吗？”
伊莱并不相信他们。
早上，伊莱一睁开眼的第一个念头就是：要小心。他躺在床上，环顾四周，发现房间没人动过：门上没放准备淋湿他的水桶，木地板上也没有干豆子。
伊莱起床检查抽屉和门的把手，原以为会有令人讨厌的“意外惊喜”，结果什么都没有。他的衣服没有被钩到 奇怪的地方；口袋里也没装什么奇怪的东西。
卫生间里的肥皂还是普通的肥皂；洗发露的瓶子里还是装着洗发露，也没有塑料袋罩住盥洗池！他小心翼翼地 朝厨房瞥了一眼，只听妈妈笑着说：“我正在做法式吐司，想尝尝吗？”
法式吐司甜甜的肉桂香味差点儿让伊莱想要冒险尝一块。不过，他摇摇头，伸手去拿了燕麦片。牛奶喝起来没 问题，果汁也是。
在学校，伊莱一点也不担心，因为那里的恶作剧很幼稚——尽管罗伯成功地愚弄了卡丝汀老师。在数学课上，他睁大眼睛看着卡丝汀老师头顶上的天花板，一只手捂住嘴，另一只手指着她的头顶上方。结果她就被淋成了 落汤鸡！
卡丝汀老师将罗伯遣送回家，并递给他一封密封的信让他交给他爸爸。她很快地转身走了，但伊莱看见了她在 窃笑。
那晚，伊莱一家在去麦克先生店铺的路上接到了罗伯。
“嘿，你知道卡丝汀老师给我的信吧？”罗伯问，“我爸爸说那只是一张猫粮的赠券，上面写着愚人节傻瓜！没想到老师也会搞恶作剧啊！”
伊莱摇了摇头，说：“真是活到老学到老。”
他们吃了汉堡和橄榄比萨，这是伊莱的最爱。当服务员过来唱生日歌的时候，伊莱捂住脸，溜到桌子底下，因 为他觉得挺不好意思的。
他们把罗伯送回家，伊莱心想自己最好还是保持警惕，愚人节还没结束呢。他们一回到家，艾米就扔给他一个 包装好的礼物盒。“给你，亲爱的弟弟。我想，你一定会很开心的。”
（恶作剧）终于来了，伊莱想。
他举起盒子摇了摇，然后小心翼翼地解开彩带，慢慢地撕开包装纸，结果发现塑料壳里装着的是现在最酷的新 款游戏。“呃，谢谢。”
“没事。”艾米边说边走上楼梯，“我去睡觉了。”
伊莱的爸妈之前已经送他一辆自行车作为礼物了。事情就是这样。
伊莱躺在床上，并没有入睡。当然，他得保持清醒以防在最后一刻会有恶作剧发生。终于，午夜来临——他的生日过去了，愚人节也结束了。
他的妈妈来房间看他，说：“兴奋得睡不着了吗？”
“也不是，我一直都以为会被整呢。”
“呃，好吧，愚人节傻瓜！”妈妈咧开嘴笑了，亲了亲伊莱的额头，然后离开了。
所以，他们通过不糊弄我的方式愚弄了我！伊莱心想。明年，明年换我了。他要开始计划一下了。
prop
【释义】n. 支柱；支持者 vt. 支撑；维持
【短语】prop up 支撑
embarrassment
【释义】n. 窘迫，难堪；使人为难的人或事物
【短语】handle embarrassment 应付难堪
figure
【释义】n. 数字；人物；图形；价格；画像
【短语】figure out 计算出，估计，想出
ribbon
【释义】n. 带；缎带；带状物；勋表
whiny
【释义】adj. 烦躁的；爱抱怨的；常发牢骚的
【短语】whiny people 爱抱怨的人
drench
【释义】n. 滂沱大雨；浸液 vt. 使湿透；给（牲畜）灌药
【短语】drench in 浸泡在……
yucky
【释义】adj. 恶心的；讨人厌的；不愉快的
coupon
【释义】n. 息票；赠券；联票
【短语】coupon rate 票面利率；interest coupon 息票，利息券
Footsteps on My Attic/阁楼上的脚步声
“Mummy，does the boogie man live upstairs in our attic？”
“No，darling. There is no boogie man，and even if there was，he doesn，t live in our attic. Why do you ask，Samantha？”
“Because I can hear him walking around up there at night.”Samantha shivered as she revealed this fact to me.
“No，darling，it，s not the boogie man，s footsteps. It，s probably the central heating making funny clanking noises. Don，t worry about it，darling. Now settle down，I，ll tuck you in and read you a nice story before you go to sleep.”I pulled up the covers around Samantha，and opened the book of fairy tales we had bought her for Christmas.“Once upon a time there lived a fairy princess called Esmeralda...”
“I，ve heard that one，”said Samantha，“Daddy read it to me yesterday.”
“Okay then，Once upon a time there lived a little green frog，in a lovely big pond at the bottom of the garden of Princess Annika，s palace...”
That did the trick. I read a couple of pages，and soon Samantha was sleeping soundly. I turned out the reading lamp，just leaving her little bedside night light casting a rosy glow over her lovely blond curls，and crept out of her room.