佚名/Anonymous
你问：“婚姻和自由，二者可以兼得吗？”
如果把婚姻看得轻松一些，你就可以获得自由；如果以严肃的态度来看待婚姻，你绝对不可能获得自由。把婚姻当作一场游戏，它就是一场游戏。人要有一点儿幽默感，那只是你在生命的舞台上扮演的一个角色，它既不属于存在的范畴，也不具有真实性——它只是一部小说。
然而，人们居然愚昧地把小说当成了现实。我看到人们读小说的时候泪流满面，那是因为小说里的一切都那么悲惨。在电影院，关掉灯是一个很好的办法。那样人们就会陶醉在电影中，然后哭泣、欢笑、快乐和伤心。然而，人们在开着灯的时候就很难做到了，因为其他人会作何感想呢？他们也非常清楚，银幕中没有人，那是空的，只是投影下的图像。但他们完全忘了这一切。
同样的事情也发生在我们的生活中，很多只需要幽默对待的事物，我们却变得认真起来，从而问题就来了。
首先，为什么要结婚呢？爱一个人，并与这个人共同生活——这是你的基本权利之一。你可以与某人一起生活，你可以去爱某个人。
天堂里没有婚姻，牧师耍了个手腕，你们就结婚了。但是为了能够加入到这个社会游戏中，为了不脱离社会，你需要让你的妻子或丈夫明白：“婚姻只是一场游戏，不要把它看得过于严肃。婚姻中，我们都要像从前那样，各自保持独立，不妨碍彼此的生活。我们不要成为对方的负担，而要像朋友一样，分享喜悦和自由。只要我们感觉到春天离去，蜜月结束了，我们就要非常真诚，不必再伪装了：只要对彼此说——我们曾经是那么相爱，以后也会永远感激对方，昔日美好的时光会留在我们的记忆里，闪耀在梦中——但是，春天已经结束了。我们的路已经走到了尽头，尽管伤心，我们仍然要分开。因为，我们现在在一起生活已经不再是因为爱了。如果我爱你，你留下来的话，我的爱对于你来说就是悲惨世界；如果你爱我，我留下来的话，你的爱对于我来说就是无期徒刑。”
生命中最珍贵的就是爱，所以爱不应该变成愚蠢的仪式。爱与自由是不可分割的，你无法选择其中一个而放弃另一个。懂得自由的人是一个内心充满爱的人，而一个懂得爱的人是能够给予别人自由的人。如果对于你爱的人，你都无法给予自由，你又能给谁自由呢？给予自由只是一种责任，自由就是爱的表达方式。
不管你是否结婚，都要记住，所有的婚姻都只是一种伪装，只是为了方便参加社会游戏。婚姻的目的是为了让双方共同进步，而不是彼此束缚。成长需要自由。然而，过去的所有文明都忘记了，没有自由的爱情必定会消亡。
在阳光明媚的天空中，你看到了一只飞翔的小鸟，它看起来是如此美丽。它深深地吸引着你。于是你捉住了这只小鸟，把它放进金丝笼中。
你认为，这只鸟还是原来的那只吗？表面上看来，这只鸟还是天空中飞翔的那只。然而，从深层来讲，它已经不是了。因为，天空没有了，它的自由又何在呢？
对你来说，这只金丝笼也许很宝贵，然而，对于这只小鸟来说，它是没有价值的。对一只小鸟而言，在天空中自由飞翔是它生命中唯一有价值的事物。对人类而言，道理也是一样。
You are asking，“Is it possible to be married and to be free？”
If you take marriage non-seriously，then you can be free.If you take it seriously，then freedom is impossible.Take marriage just as a game—it is a game.Have a little sense of humor，that it is a role you are playing on the stage of life；but it is not something that belongs to existence or has any reality—it is a fiction.
But people are so stupid that they even start taking fiction for reality.I have seen people reading fiction with tears in their eyes，because in the fiction things are going so tragically.It is a very good device in the movies that they put the lights off，so everybody can enjoy the movie，laugh，cry，be sad，be happy.If there was light it would be a little difficult—what will others think？And they know perfectly well that the screen is empty—there is nobody；it is just a projected picture.But they forget it completely.
And the same has happened with our lives.Many things which are simply to be taken humorously，we take so seriously—and from that seriousness begins our problem.
In the first place，why should you get married？You love someone，live with someone—it is part of your basic rights.You can live with someone，you can love someone.
Marriage is not something that happens in heaven，it happens here，through the crafty priests.But if you want to join the game with society and don’t want to stand alone and aloof，you make it clear to your wife or to your husband that this marriage is just a game：“Never take it seriously.I will remain as independent as I was before marriage，and you will remain as independent as you were before marriage.Neither I am going to interfere in your life，nor are you going to interfere in my life；we will live as two friends together，sharing our joys，sharing our freedom—but not becoming a burden on each other.And any moment we feel that the spring has passed，the honeymoon is over，we will be sincere enough not to go on pretending，but to say to each other that we loved much—and we will remain grateful to each other forever，and the days of love will haunt us in our memories，in our dreams，as golden—but the spring is over.Our paths have come to a point，where although it is sad，we have to part，because now，living together is not a sign of love.If I love you，I will leave you the moment I see my love has become a misery to you.If you love me，you will leave me the moment you see that your love is creating an imprisonment for me.”
Love is the highest value in life：It should not be reduced to stupid rituals.And love and freedom go together—you cannot choose one and leave the other.A man who knows freedom is full of love，and a man who knows love is always willing to give freedom.If you cannot give freedom to the person you love，to whom can you give freedom？Giving freedom is nothing but trusting.Freedom is an expression of love.
So whether you are married or not，remember，all marriages are fake—just social conveniences.Their purpose is not to imprison you and bind you to each other；their purpose is to help you to grow with each other.But growth needs freedom；and in the past，all the cultures have forgotten that without freedom，love dies.
You see a bird on the wing in the sun，in the sky，and it looks so beautiful.Attracted by its beauty，you can catch the bird and put it in a golden cage.
Do you think it is the same bird？Superficially，yes，it is the same bird who was flying in the sky；but deep down it is not the same bird—because where is its sky，where is its freedom？
This golden cage may be valuable to you；it is not valuable to the bird.For the bird，to be free in the sky is the only valuable thing in life.And the same is true about human beings.