SunLi is afraid that her son might be abducted and sold. Apparently it happens in China every now and then that nannies steal and offer the entrusted children for sale， or that they do not pay enough attention and the child in their care is kidnapped. China is large， and children apparently can disappear. Chinese television news and newspapers occasionally report on such cases， and organised crime specialised on child abduction does， alas， exist in China， too. (In 2010， China installed a new system of special investigation teams to more effectively combat this human trafficking.) In ShenZhen， in one of my favourite parks， only twenty minutes of walking from my apartment， a baby was abducted not long ago while the caring grandmother had only a few minutes not been paying attention， chatting a little too long with other grandmothers and looking the other way....
SunLi wavers back and forth， while her son lives a thousand kilometres away with her mother， and while the mother-in-law interferes in the raising， too. One thing is clear to her from the daily phone calls： HaoKang has his grandparents， all four of them， completely under control even though he is hardly one year and a half old. If he wants something or does not want it， and if any of four does not behave as he expected， grandpa or grandma is penalised with love withdrawal： He refuses looking at them for quite a while， turns pointedly to another grandparent who will be vying for his favour immediately.
Grandparents and parents in China desire that their children will fare “better” than they did 50 or 25 years ago. Therefore， many children are coddled in China， as SunLi perceives with worry. For in China， only girls should actually be pampered or raised in “substantial environment” while boys have to learn the hard side of life， according to a “rule”：女孩子富养， 男孩子穷养 ， n
hái zi fù y.ng， nán hái zi qióng y.ng： to raise girls rich， boys poor. Girls shall learn about the beautiful things in the world， broaden their horizon， not the least in order to prevent them from falling prey to the very first young man who would offer her no future， they must instead by picky. Boys shall learn to assert themselves in the harsh cope.
We may doubt whether all of this is well and good， even more justified are doubts whether boys are really brought up today like that. Engineer Sun and programmer Wang are (entirely independently) more and more worried， more and more concerned： How do and how can they design the upbringing of their son， especially， how to retain influence (if they have any)？
In addition， the very tough competition in China makes them fear. Right now already they are afraid in their son’s place that he will find things as hard as they did， or perhaps harder still， whether at school or later， in the university (if me makes it to there at all) he will achieve a sufficient score. They hear and read of many parents who launch into a targeted education of their children as early as infancy. And from that a service industry is growing， such as found in HongKong already： English courses offered for three-year-old， they shall as well recite poems and read and write at least a few hundred characters latest when they are four years old. And piano lessons they must have no later than with five years. Do they really want to do that with their son， go through all the stress？
But how else should he get a job， if he fails to provide above-average performance？ They do not so much conceive of opening his own business， they seek for themselves and each for their son something “safe”.