After many years of marriage，a husband had turned into a couch potato，became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day。The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband's attention，he'd just shrug her off with some boring comment。
This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom。Then one day at a pet store，the wife saw this big，ugly，snorting bird with a hairy chest，powerful hairy forearms，beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth。
The shopkeeper，observing her fascination with the bird，told her it was a special imported“Gooney bird”and it had a very peculiar trait。To demonstrate，he exclaimed，“Goony bird！The table！”Immediately，the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws！To demonstrate some more，the shopkeeper said，“Gooney bird！The shelf！”Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds。
“Wow！”said the wife，“If this doesn't attract my husband's attention，nothing will！”So she bought the bird and took it home。When she entered the house，the husband was，as usual，sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game。“Honey！”she exclaimed，“I've got a surprise for you！A Gooney bird！”The husband，in his usual bored tone replied，“Goony Bird，my foot！”
结婚多年后，老公已经变成了电视迷，根本不理睬老婆，每天就是不停地狂喝啤酒看电视。老婆失望之极，因为不管她怎样去吸引老公的注意力，他也只是耸耸肩，不屑理睬，随口敷衍两句。
这样过了好几个月，老婆已经烦透了。一天，她经过宠物店的时候看到了一只又大又丑的，打着响鼻的鸟，它的胸口毛茸茸的，前臂也很强壮，又长满了毛，眼睛圆溜溜的，口水从嘴角一直往下流。
店主发现她对这只鸟很感兴趣，告诉她这是一只进口的信天翁，而且性格很独特。为了展示给她看，他叫道：“信天翁，桌子！”随即信天翁就从鸟笼里飞了出来直冲冲、气呼呼地去袭击桌子，并用自己的强壮的前臂和爪子把桌子撕成了很多小碎片。为了再显示一下，店主说：“信天翁！架子！”这只鸟很快冲向了架子然后几秒钟之内就把它毁掉了。
这位妻子说：“哇！要是这还不能吸引我老公的注意力，那别的什么都不行了。”所以买下了这只鸟并带回了家。到家后，她老公一如既往地坐在沙发上狂喝啤酒看比赛。她大声说：“亲爱的！我给你带了个惊喜，是一只信天翁！”老公像平常一样厌烦地回答道：“信天翁，我的脚。”
1.inattentive 疏忽的，怠慢的，不注意的
She is inattentive to her guests。（她对客人招待不周。）
2.guzzle v。狂饮，暴食
3.fascination n。魅力，入迷，魔力
The city has a fascination for him。（这座城市对他很有吸引力。）
4.peculiar adj。特殊的，罕见的，奇怪的，独特的
He is very peculiar in his behavior。（他的举止很古怪。）
5.demolish v。毁坏，推翻，破坏，拆除，驳倒
They're going to demolish that old building。（他们将拆毁那座旧建筑物。）
1.shrug off 抖去，摆脱，不屑理睬，耸肩表示蔑视
She can shrug off her troubles and keep smiling。（她能够把烦恼置之度外而依旧保持笑容。）