There Is No One Else on Earth Like You
I have a letter from Mrs. Edith Allred， of Mount Airy， NorthCarolina：
“As a child， I was extremely sensitive and shy，” she says inher letter. “I was always overweight and my cheeks made melook even fatter than I was. I had an old-fashioned mother whothought it was foolish to make clothes look pretty. She alwayssaid： ‘Wide will wear while narrow will tear’； and she dressed meaccordingly. I never went to parties； never had any fun； and whenI went to school， I never joined the other children in outsideactivities， not even athletics. I was morbidly shy. I felt I was‘different’ from everybody else， and entirely undesirable.
“When I grew up， I married a man who was several years mysenior. But I didn’t change. My in-laws were a poised and selfconfidentfamily. They were everything I should have been butsimply was not. I tried my best to be like them， but I couldn’t.
Every attempt they made to draw me out of myself only drove mefurther into my shell. I became nervous and irritable. I avoidedall friends. I got so bad I even dreaded the sound of the doorbellringing！ I was a failure. I knew it； and I was afraid my husbandwould find it out. So， whenever we were in public， I tried to begay， and overacted my part. I knew I overacted； and I would bemiserable for days afterwards. At last I became so unhappy that Icould see no point in prolonging my existence. I began to think ofsuicide.”
What happened to change this unhappy woman’s life？ Just achance remark！
“A chance remark，” Mrs. Allred continued， “transformedmy whole life. My mother-in-law was talking one day of howshe brought her children up， and she said： ‘No matter whathappened， I always insisted on their being themselves.’... ‘Onbeing themselves.’... That remark is what did it！ In a flash， Irealised I had brought all this misery on myself by trying to fitmyself into a pattern to which I did not conform.
“I changed overnight！ I started being myself. I tried to makea study of my own personality. Tried to find out what I was. Istudied my strong points. I learned all I could about coloursand styles， and dressed in a way that I felt was becoming to me.
I reached out to make friends. I joined an organisationa smallone at first—and was petrified with fright when they put me ona programme. But each time I spoke， I gained a little courage. Ittook a long while—but today I have more happiness than I everdreamed possible. In rearing my own children， I have alwaystaught them the lesson I had to learn from such bitter experience：
No matter what happens， always be yourself！”
This problem of being willing to be yourself is “as old as history，”
says Dr. James Gordon Gilkey， “and as universal as human life.”
This problem of being unwilling to be yourself is the hidden springbehind many neuroses and psychoses and complexes. Angelo Patrihas written thirteen books and thousands of syndicated newspaperarticles on the subject of child training， and he says： “Nobody is somiserable as he who longs to be somebody and something otherthan the person he is in body and mind.”
This craving to be something you are not is especially rampantin Hollywood. Sam Wood， one of Hollywood’s best-known directors，says the greatest headache he has with aspiring young actors is309 ·
exactly this problem： to make them be themselves. They all wantto be second-rate Lana Turners， or third-rate Clark Gables. “Thepublic has already had that flavour，” Sam Wood keeps tellingthem； “now it wants something else.”
Before he started directing such pictures as Good-bye， Mr.
Chips and For Whom the Bell Tolls， Sam Wood spent years in thereal-estate business， developing sales personalities. He declaresthat the same principles apply in the business world as in theworld of moving pictures. You won’t get anywhere playing theape. You can’t be a parrot. “Experience has taught me，” says SamWood， “that it is safest to drop， as quickly as possible， people whopretend to be what they aren’t.”
I recently asked Paul Boynton， employment director an oilcompany， what is the biggest mistake people make in applyingfor jobs. He ought to know： he has interviewed more than sixtythousand job seekers； and he has written a book entitled 6 Waysto Get a Job. He replied： “The biggest mistake people make inapplying for jobs is in not being themselves. Instead of taking theirhair down and being completely frank， they often try to give youthe answers they think you want.” But it doesn’t work， becausenobody wants a phony. Nobody ever wants a counterfeit coin.
A certain daughter of a street-car conductor had to learn thatlesson the hard way. She longed to be a singer. But her face washer misfortune. She had a large mouth and protruding buckteeth. When she first sang in public—in a New Jersey night-club—she tried to pull down her upper Up to cover her teeth. She triedto act “glamorous”. The result？ She made herself ridiculous. Shewas headed for failure.
However， there was a man in this night-club who heard thegirl sing and thought she had talent. “See here，” he said bluntly，“I’ve been watching your performance and I know what it is you’re trying to hide. You’re ashamed of your teeth.” The girl wasembarrassed， but the man continued： “What of it？ Is there anyparticular crime in having buck teeth？ Don’t try to hide them！
Open your mouth， and the audience will love you when they seeyou’re not ashamed. Besides，” he said shrewdly， “those teethyou’re trying to hide may make your fortune！”
Cass Daley took his advice and forgot about her teeth. Fromthat time on， she thought only about her audience. She openedher mouth wide and sang with such gusto and enjoyment that shebecame a top star in movies and radio. Other comedians are nowtrying to copy her！
The renowned William James was speaking of men whohad never found themselves when he declared that the averageman develops only ten per cent of his latent mental abilities.