So let’s obey the Golden Rule， and give unto others what wewould have others give unto us. How？ When？ Where？ The answeris： All the time， everywhere.
If， for example， the waitress brings us mashed potatoes whenwe have ordered French fried， let’s say：“I’m sorry to trouble you，but I prefer French fried.” She’ll probably reply， “No trouble atall” and will be glad to change the potatoes， because we haveshown respect for her.
Little phrases such as “I’m sorry to trouble you，” “Would yoube so kind as to—？” “Won’t you please？” “Would you mind？”
“Thank you”—little courtesies like these oil the cogs of themonotonous grind of everyday life—and， incidentally， they arethe hallmark of good breeding.
The life of many a person could probably be changed if onlysomeone would make him feel important. Ronald J. Rowland，who is one of the instructors of our course in California， is also ateacher of arts and crafts. He wrote to us about a student namedChris in his beginning crafts class：
Chris was a very quiet， shy boy lacking in self-confidence，the kind of student that often does not receive the attention hedeserves. I also teach an advanced class that had grown to besomewhat of a status symbol and a privilege for a student to have earned the right to be in it. On Wednesday， Chris was diligentlyworking at his desk. I really felt there was a hidden fire deepinside him. I asked Chris if he would like to be in the advancedclass. How I wish I could express the look in Chris’s face， theemotions in that shy fourteen-year-old boy， trying to hold backhis tears.
“Who me， Mr. Rowland？ Am I good enough？”
“Yes， Chris， you are good enough.”
I had to leave at that point because tears were coming to myeyes. As Chris walked out of class that day， seemingly two inchestaller， he looked at me with bright blue eyes and said in a positivevoice， “Thank you， Mr. Rowland.”
Chris taught me a lesson I will never forget—our deep desireto feel important. To help me never forget this rule， I made a signwhich reads “YOU ARE IMPORTANT.” This sign hangs in thefront of the classroom for all to see and to remind me that eachstudent I face is equally important.
The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meetfeel themselves superior to you in some way， and a sure way totheir hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that yourecognize their importance， and recognize it sincerely.
Let’s take another case： Donald M. McMahon， who wassuperintendent of Lewis and Valentine， nurserymen and landscapearchitects in Rye， New York， related this incident：
“Shortly after I attended the talk on ‘How to Win Friendsand Influence People，’ I was landscaping the estate of a famousattorney. The owner came out to give me a few instructions aboutwhere he wished to plant a mass of rhododendrons and azaleas.
“I said， ‘Judge， you have a lovely hobby. I’ve been admiringyour beautiful dogs. I understand you win a lot of blue ribbonsevery year at the show in Madison Square Garden.’
“The effect of this little expression of appreciation wasstriking.
“‘Yes，’ the judge replied， ‘I do have a lot of fun with my dogs.
Would you like to see my kennel？’
“He spent almost an hour showing me his dogs and the prizesthey had won. He even brought out their pedigrees and explainedabout the bloodlines responsible for such beauty and intelligence.
“Finally， turning to me， he asked： ‘Do you have any smallchildren？’
“‘Yes， I do，’ I replied， ‘I have a son.’
“‘Well， wouldn’t he like a puppy？’ the judge inquired.
“‘Oh， yes， he’d be tickled pink.’
“‘All right， I’m going to give him one，’ the judge announced.
He started to tell me how to feed the puppy. Then he paused.
‘You’ll forget it if I tell you. I’ll write it out.’ So the judge went inthe house， typed out the pedigree and feeding instructions， andgave me a puppy worth several hundred dollars and one hour andfifteen minutes of his valuable time largely because I had expressedmy honest admiration for his hobby and achievements.”
“Talk to people about themselves，” said Disraeli， one of theshrewdest men who ever ruled the British Empire. “Talk topeople about themselves and they will listen for hours .”