This friendliness on Mr. Black’s part did what friendlinessalways does: it begot friendliness. So the strikers borrowedbrooms, shovels, and rubbish carts, and began picking up matches,papers, cigarette stubs, and cigar butts around the factory. Imagineit! Imagine strikers tidying up the factory grounds while battlingfor higher wages and recognition of the union. Such an eventhad never been heard of before in the long, tempestuous historyof American labor wars. That strike ended with a compromisesettlement within a week—ended without any ill feeling or rancor.
Daniel Webster, who looked like a god and talked like Jehovah,was one of the most successful advocates who ever pleaded acase; yet he ushered in his most powerful arguments with suchfriendly remarks as:“It will be for the jury to consider,”“Thismay perhaps be worth thinking of,”“Here are some facts that Itrust you will not lose sight of,” or “You, with your knowledge ofhuman nature, will easily see the significance of these facts.” Nobulldozing. No high-pressure methods. No attempt to force hisopinions on others. Webster used the soft-spoken, quiet, friendlyapproach, and it helped to make him famous.
You may never be called upon to settle a strike or address a jury, but you may want to get your rent reduced. Will the friendlyapproach help you then? Let’s see.
O. L. Straub, an engineer, wanted to get his rent reduced.
And he knew his landlord was hard-boiled. “I wrote him,” Mr. Straub said in a speech before the class, “notifying him that Iwas vacating my apartment as soon as my lease expired. Thetruth was, I didn’t want to move. I wanted to stay if I could getmy rent reduced. But the situation seemed hopeless. Othertenants had tried—and failed. Everyone told me that the landlordwas extremely difficult to deal with. But I said to myself, ‘I amstudying a course in how to deal with people, so I’ll try it onhim—and see how it works.’
“He and his secretary came to see me as soon as he got myletter. I met him at the door with a friendly greeting. I fairlybubbled with good will and enthusiasm. I didn’t begin talkingabout how high the rent was. I began talking about how muchI liked his apartment house. Believe me, I was ‘hearty in myapprobation and lavish in my praise.’ I complimented him on theway he ran the building and told him I should like so much tostay for another year but I couldn’t afford it.
“He had evidently never had such a reception from a tenant.
He hardly knew what to make of it.
“Then he started to tell me his troubles. Complaining tenants.
One had written him fourteen letters, some of them positivelyinsulting. Another threatened to break his lease unless thelandlord kept the man on the floor above from snoring. ‘What arelief it is,’ he said, ‘to have a satisfied tenant like you.’ And then,without my even asking him to do it, he offered to reduce my renta little. I wanted more, so I named the figure I could afford to pay,and he accepted without a word.
“As he was leaving, he turned to me and asked, ‘What decoratingcan I do for you?’
“If I had tried to get the rent reduced by the methods the othertenants were using, I am positive I should have met with thesame failure they encountered. It was the friendly, sympathetic,appreciative approach that won.”
Years ago, when I was a barefoot boy walking through thewoods to a country school out in northwest Missouri, I read afable about the sun and the wind. They quarreled about whichwas the stronger, and the wind said, “I’ll prove I am. See theold man down there with a coat? I bet I can get his coat off himquicker than you can.”
So the sun went behind a cloud, and the wind blew until it wasalmost a tornado, but the harder it blew, the tighter the old manclutched his coat to him.
Finally, the wind calmed down and gave up, and then thesun came out from behind the clouds and smiled kindly on theold man. Presently, he mopped his brow and pulled off his coat.
The sun then told the wind that gentleness and friendliness werealways stronger than fury and force.
Aesop was a Greek slave who lived at the court of Croesusand spun immortal fables six hundred years before Christ. Yetthe truths he taught about human nature are just as true inBoston and Birmingham now as they were twenty-six centuriesago in Athens. The sun can make you take off your coat morequickly than the wind; and kindliness, the friendly approach andappreciation can make people change their minds more readilythan all the bluster and storming in the world.
Remember what Lincoln said:“A drop of honey catches moreflies than a gallon of gall.”