PRINCIPLE 9：
Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires. I was reared on the edge of the Jesse James country out inMissouri， and I visited the James farm at Kearney， Missouri， wherethe son of Jesse James was then living. His wife told me stories ofhow Jesse robbed trains and held up banks and then gave moneyto the neighboring farmers to pay off their mortgages.
Jesse James probably regarded himself as an idealist at heart，just as Dutch Schultz， “Two Gun” Crowley， Al Capone and manyother organized crime “godfathers” did generations later. The factis that all people you meet have a high regard for themselves andlike to be fine and unselfish in their own estimation.
J. Pierpont Morgan observed， in one of his analytical interludes，that a person usually has two reasons for doing a thing： one thatsounds good and a real one. The person himself will think ofthe real reason. You don’t need to emphasize that. But all of us，being idealists at heart， like to think of motives that sound good.
So， in order to change people， appeal to the nobler motives. Isthat too idealistic to work in business？ Let’s see. Let’s take thecase of Hamilton J. Farrell. Mr. Farrell had a disgruntled tenantwho threatened to move. The tenant’s lease still had four monthsto run； nevertheless， he served notice that he was vacatingimmediately， regardless of lease.
“These people had lived in my house all winter—the mostexpensive part of the year，” Mr. Farrell said as he told the story tothe class， “and I knew it would be difficult to rent the apartmentagain before fall. I could see all that rent income going over thehill and believe me， I saw red.
“Now， ordinarily， I would have waded into that tenant andadvised him to read his lease again. I would have pointed out thatif he moved， the full balance of his rent would fall due at once—and that I could， and would， move to collect.
“However， instead of flying off the handle and making a scene，I decided to try other tactics. So I started like this： ‘Mr. Doe，’ Isaid， ‘I have listened to your story， and I still don’t believe youintend to move. Years in the renting business have taught mesomething about human nature， and I sized you up in the firstplace as being a man of your word. In fact， I’m so sure of it that I’mwilling to take a gamble.
“‘Now， here’s my proposition. Leave your decision on the tablefor a few days and think it over. If you come back to me betweennow and the first of the month， when your rent is due， and tellme you still intend to move， I give you my word I will acceptyour decision as final. I will privilege you to move and admit tomyself I’ve been wrong in my judgment. But I still believe you’rea man of your word and will live up to your contract. For after all，we are either men or monkeys—and the choice usually lies withourselves！’
“Well， when the new month came around， this gentlemancame to see me and paid his rent in person. He and his wife hadtalked it over， he said—and decided to stay. They had concludedthat the only honorable thing to do was to live up to their lease.”
When the late Lord Northcliffe found a newspaper using apicture of him which he didn’t want published， he wrote theeditor a letter. But did he say， “Please do not publish that pictureof me any more； I don’t like it”？ No， he appealed to a noblermotive. He appealed to the respect and love that all of us have formotherhood. He wrote， “Please do not publish that picture of meany more. My mother doesn’t like it.”
When John D. Rockefeller， Jr.， wished to stop newspaperphotographers from snapping pictures of his children， he tooappealed to the nobler motives. He didn’t， say： “I don’t want theirpictures published.” No， he appealed to the desire， deep in all ofus， to refrain from harming children. He said： “You know howit is， boys. You’ve got children yourselves， some of you. And youknow it’s not good for youngsters to get too much publicity.”
Right here the skeptic may say： “Oh， that stuff is all right forNorthcliffe and Rockefeller or a sentimental novelist. But， I’d liketo see you make it work with the tough babies I have to collect billsfrom！”