Or else you can gradually come apart in London, and then flounder till you get your feet again, severally, but be clear about it. It lies between you and Katherine, nowhere else.
Of course you can't dream of living long without work. Couldn't you get the Westminster to give you two columns a week, abroad? You must try. You must stick to criticism. You ought also to plan a book, either on some literary point, or some man. I should like to write a book on English heroines. You ought to do something of that sort, but not so cheap. Don't try a novel, try essays, like Walter Pater or somebody of that style. But you can do something good in that line; something concerning literature rather than life.
And you must rest, and you and Katherine must heal, and come together, before you do any serious work of any sort. It's the split in the love that drains you. You see, while she doesn't really love you, and is not satisfied; you show to frightful disadvantage. But it would be a pity not to let your mind flower—it might, under decent circumstances, produce beautiful delicate things in perception and appreciation. And she has a right to provide the conditions. But not if you don't trust yourself nor her nor anybody, but go on slopping, and pandering to her smaller side.
...
If you want things to come right—if you are ill and exhausted, then take her money to the last penny, and let her do her own housework. Then she'll know you love her. You can't blame her if she's not satisfied with you. If I haven't had enough dinner, you can't blame me. But, you fool, you squander yourself, not for her, but to provide her with petty luxuries she doesn't really want. You insult her. A woman unsatisfied must have luxuries. But a woman who loves a man would sleep on a board.
...
Look. We pay 60 lire a month for this house: 25 lire for the servant; and food is very cheap. You could live on 185 lire a month in plenty—and be greeted as "Signoria" when you went out together it is the same as "Guten Tag, Herrschaften; " that would be luxury enough for Katherine.
Get up, lad, and be a man for yourself. It's the man who dares to take, who is independent, not he who gives.
I think Oxford did you harm.
It is beautiful, wonderful, here.
A ten-pound note is 253 lire. We could get you, I believe, a jolly nice apartment in a big garden, in a house alone, for 80 lire a month. Don't waste yourself—don't be silly and floppy. You know what you could do—you could write—then prepare yourself: and first make Katherine at rest in her love for you. Say "This I will certainly do"! it would be a relief for her to hear you. Don't be a child—don't keep that rather childish charm. Throw everything away, and say, "Now I act for my own good, at last."
We are getting gradually nearer again, Frieda and I. It is very beautiful here...
D.H. Lawrence
Lerici, per Fiaschefino,
Golfo della Spezia, Italy
Thursday 1913
亲爱的默里：
我收到你的信后，马上就给你回信，跟你坦白我的看法。
你认为不打算接受凯瑟琳的钱，这意味着你对她的爱情不信任。你说她需要一点物质享受，你不忍心去剥夺她这点权利。这种说法说明你对自己和她都不够尊重。
在我看来，你们俩好像不但没有日益亲密，反而是在将你们之间的纽带一根根地扯断。我认为你们两人应该开诚布公地沟通一下。她必须明确是否真正需要你，愿和你长相厮守，一生不再需要其他的男人。这意味着要有所失。在我看来，人生的唯一准则是要舍小利而取大义。不过，一个人对待这种事要采取诚实的态度。
她一定会说：“我是否甘心和杰克住在意大利的一个小地方，过着孤寂清贫而愉快的生活呢？”如果她能做到，那你就接受她的钱。如果她不愿意，那就不要勉强。
但是，不要再闪烁其词了。你们照这样下去，毫无疑问会劳燕分飞。她也许已经开始对你感到不满了，你所表现出的慷慨大度也不能博得她的欢心。你一定会说：“我怎样才能变得身强力壮，使自己和她都心满意足呢？” 如果闲散半年可以达到目的，那就这样做，并且接受她的钱。即使她失去了奢华的生活，也无关紧要，她不会因此而毙命。另外，你说的奢侈是什么意思？
如果她不愿意把今生今世托付给你，那你就独自一人到国外的大学去消遣些日子吧。不过我得警告你：那是像炼狱般凄凉的生活。
若不然，你们就在伦敦逐渐疏远，痛苦挣扎着直到各自站稳脚跟。但是，心里要想清楚，这是你和凯瑟琳之间的事，别人无能为力。
当然，你不能梦想长期无所事事地过日子。在国外，你能不能要求《威斯敏斯特报》每星期给你两栏在国外写呢？你得去问问。你应该继续写评论，还应该计划写部书，写文学的某个问题或某个作家也行。如果是我，就写一本论述英国女英雄的作品，你应该写点这类东西，但不要写太没有价值的东西。不要写小说，写散文吧，要像华特·培特（1839—1894，英国散文家和批评家）或他那种风格的作家那样。取材于文学方面，而不是生活方面，你在这方面会卓有成就的。
你必须休息，你和凯瑟琳都必须先养好身体，言归于好，才能成就大事。你之所以文思枯竭，都是爱情破裂的原因。你要知道，当她真的不爱你，对你不满意时，你的境况就非常不利。但是，你的才智不能充分展示实在是太可惜了——要是有像样的环境，以你的理解力和鉴赏力，可以写出很雅致的东西来。她有提供这种条件的权利。不过，要是你不自信，不信任她，也不信任任何人，继续陷入感情的泥沼，在一些微不足道的事情上讨好她，那将一事无成。
……
如果你希望一切有所好转，就在你生病了，或精疲力竭的时候，把她的钱全都收下，让她自己动手干家务。这样的话，她就知道你爱她。如果她对你感到不满，你不能埋怨她，就像如果我没有吃饱饭，你也不能怨我一样。然而，你这傻瓜，你这样不怜惜自己，并不是为她，而是为了让她得到那些她并不需要而又微不足道的奢侈玩意儿。你这是侮辱她，只有心怀不满的女人才非得奢侈。一个女人如果真心爱一个男人的话，即使睡木板也心甘情愿。
……
你看，我们每个月要为这房子付60里拉房租；付25里拉的工钱给佣人；食物非常便宜。你们每月花185里拉就可以过得很富裕了——当你们两人出门时，人家就会管你们叫“老爷、太太”——跟“Guten Tag，Herrschanen（德文：您好，老爷、太太）”一个意思。这对凯瑟琳来说，足够奢侈了。
振作起来，伙计，为了你自己，像个男子汉。一个独立的人是勇于接受的人，而不是施与的人。
我觉得牛津害了你。
这里美极了，棒极了。
一张10英镑的钞票相当于253里拉。我相信我们可以替你们租一座有漂亮花园、让人愉悦的公寓，独门独院，每月租金只要80里拉。不要糟蹋你自己——不要糊涂，不要优柔寡断。你知道自己有什么能耐，你能写作，那就做好准备吧：首先得稳住凯瑟琳对你的爱情。告诉自己：“我一定要这么做！”这话会让她颇感欣慰的。不要孩子气——别再那么幼稚了。抛开一切，说：“我现在所做的是为自己好。”
我和弗丽达又逐渐亲近了，这儿真美……
D．H．劳伦斯
星期四（1913年）
于意大利斯贝西亚湾
飞亚斯旦里附近的雷利奇
咨询函
由专业投资顾问出具的对股票、投资基金进行分析的私人信函，信函内容还包括对商品期货和资金市场投资的建议。
deprive [di'praiv] v. 剥夺；使丧失；使不能享有
Never deprive someone of hope.
永远不要使别人失去失望。
forfeit [f:fit] v. （因犯错）丧失；被没收
His lands were forfeited.
他的土地都已被没收。
inevitably [in'evitbli] adv. 不可避免地；必然地；意料之中
Wrongdoings inevitably trips up itself.
做坏事必然会暴露。
stake [steik] v. 资助；支持；把……押下打赌
I'd stake my life on it.
我敢拿性命来担保。
在我看来，人生的唯一准则是要舍小利而取大义。
一个女人如果真心爱一个男人的话，即使睡木板也心甘情愿。
一个独立的人是那勇于接受的人，而不是那施与的人。
You must stick to criticism.
stick to：保留；保有；遵守；坚持
You can' t blame her if she's not satisfied with you.
be satisfied with：对……感到满足
弗朗西斯·司各特·菲茨杰拉德致
玛丽亚·曼尼斯
F. Scott Fitzgerald to Marya Mannes
Dear Marya,