"I know," she said."But that' s no excuse for..." She hesitated, then continued. "It' s just always bothered me, remembering how mean I was to you. And I' ve wanted to tell you that I' m sorry. So... I' m sorry." The smile on her face was warm and sincere. And there was something in her eyes—it looked a lot like relief—that melted any vestiges of icy resentment that may have built up within me during the years since she had slam-dunked my heart.
"OK," I said. "Apology accepted!" Overcome by the sweetness of the moment, I reached an arm around her and gave her a quick hug. Just then, the crowd erupted with a huge cheer, and Marci and I both returned our attention to the game. By the time I looked over to where she had been, she was gone. But the warm, wonderful feeling of our brief exchange was still there, and continues to this day whenever I think about it.
We all carry bitter, discomforting memories of deeds done or undone, and words said or unsaid. And we all bear wounds—some slight, some not-so-slight—that have been inflicted upon us by others. The healing balm of forgiveness can soothe a troubled conscience and bring peace to an injured soul—even years after the fact.
Of course, it isn' t enough to just say "I' m sorry" and "You' re forgiven." While there is indeed great power in those simple words, it is not available to those who are insincere, or who are only looking for a way to control, manipulate or exploit. But when those words are truly felt and sincerely expressed, they can open the door to miracles of the heart and soul—miracles of forgiveness.
“乔?是你吗?”篮球赛上一个有些面熟的女人问我。“玛西?”
她大笑着惊叫道:“真的是你!天哪,再次见到你真高兴啊!”见到玛西,我也很开心。在过去的几十年中,我时常会想起她。几年前,我听一个我们都认识的朋友说,玛西在最近十年里过得很苦,当时,我差点儿要去追寻她的下落。能在篮球赛上碰面,真是很幸运。
我们聊了会儿家常,孩子和事业、爱人和住房、教育和娱乐(仅用几句话就概括了25年的生活,真是让人感到有些不安)。我们用“你见过”“你知道”询问了对方一些问题,又回忆了过去的美好和沮丧的时光。之后,玛西沉默了一会儿,向在售货区闲逛的人群望去。
她说:“乔,你知道的,我总是想对你说你不知道当初那样对你,我感到很难过。”我有些尴尬,人总是不愿记住曾骗被别人随便抛弃的日子。
我答道:“我很好,不用把它放在心上。”至少我现在是这样认为的。“但是,我曾骗那么傻。”她继续说。我心想,你确实是。 “那时我们都太年轻。”我说。
“我知道,”她说,“但那不是理由”她犹豫了一下,又接着说,“一想起那样对你,愧疚感就折磨着我。我想跟你说‘很抱歉’ ,所以对不起。”她脸上的微笑温暖而真诚。她的眼中好像有什么东西——很像是解脱——融化了我心中所有的怨恨,这些怨恨是在她伤我心后的这些年里积累起来的。
“好的,我接受你的道歉!”我说。这一瞬间的快乐包围了我,我伸出一只胳膊,快速地给了她一个拥抱。就在这时,人群中发出了一阵欢呼声,我和玛西把注意力转回到赛场。当我再看她时,她已骗走了。但是,我们短暂交谈的那种温暖和美妙的感觉还在,直到今天,我一想起这件事仍然感到温暖和甜美。
我们都有痛苦和难过的记忆——做了或是没有做的事,说了或是没有说的话。我们都在忍受他人所带来的伤痛,有些很小,有些则很重。宽恕这剂良药可以减轻良心的谴责,可以安慰受伤的心灵,即使事隔多年,疗效依然明显。
当然,只说“对不起”和“画谅你”是不够的。虽然这些简单的语句有着强大的力量,但是对那些虚伪的人,或者只想控制、操纵或是利用别人的人,这些语言是没有用的。然而,当说这些话语的人真心诚意地表达出这些话语,而听者也感受到了这份真诚时,这些话语就能打开心灵的奇迹之门,这就是宽恕的奇迹。
埃玛的鸭子
Emma' s Ducks
保罗·卡勒 / Paul Karrer
The winter of 1966 hit our university in upstate New York with a ferocity unrivaled in decades. For three days straight, the snow swirled and billowed, burying the isolated campus. Here and there stray groups of students struggled single file against the weather, like ducklings following their mother across a road. The female students in dormitory B were confronted with the same problem plaguing the general population of the university.
"How are we going to get to the cafeteria?" asked one.
"We' re not," answered another."Everything out there is white. You can' t see anything."
A gleam came into the eye of the third girl. She shushed the others' whining, saying triumphantly, "Emma could do it."
The whining turned to murmur of excitement."Emma!""She even manages through the city." "We could follow her." "You' re a genius!"
The girls whooped, yelled and clapped for joy. They bundled up and excitedly trooped down the hall to Emma' s room. They found her in the hallway and cornered her before she could even open her door.
"What' s all the excitement?" she asked, smiling.
"Can we follow you to the cafeteria? We' re blind in this storm."
They all laughed.
"I suppose so. I' ll go first, and you could hold on to each other' s shoulders."
"Can we go now?" one girl begged. "I' m starving."
Emma smiled again. "Sure, let me just get Missy ready."
She went into her room and returned moments later with a dog on a harness. The girls lined up obediently at the front door, ready to face the cold. They each placed their hands on the shoulders of the girl in front of them.
Emma opened the door to lead them out. "I guess," she smiled. "you could call this the blind leading the seeing."
And with that, Emma and her seeing-eye dog, Missy, led her troop of hungry ducks to the cafeteria.
1966年,冬天以迅猛之势袭击了我们位于纽约北部的大学,这是几十年来从未见过的。接连三天,暴风雪盘旋·腾,将整个校园困在大雪之中,阻断了与外界的联系。校园里,到处是迷了路的学生,他们排成一队与恶劣的天气抗争着,就像躲在妈妈身后的小鸭子横过马路一样。与全校师生一样,B寝室的女生们也遇到了同样的问题。
一个女生问道:“我们怎样才能到自助食堂去呢?”
另一个女生答道:“我们不要去了,外面白茫茫的一片,什么也看不见。”
第三个女生的眼睛一亮,“嘘”了一声,室内的抱怨声便停止了。然后,她兴奋地说道:“埃玛能够看得见。”
抱怨声消失了,接着是一阵兴奋的低语声。“埃玛!她甚至能够在整个大学城穿梭。”“我们可以跟着她走。”“你真是一个天才呀!”
女生们非常高兴,笑语喧哗,鼓起掌来。她们穿戴好,一群人激动地朝埃玛的房间走去。她们在楼道中发现了埃玛,在她打开寝室的门之前,这群女生就把她围了起来。
埃玛笑着问:“你们为什么都这么兴奋?”
“我们能不能跟着你去自助食堂?我们在暴风雪中什么都看不到。”
大家都笑了起来。
“我认为可以。我先走,你们排成一列搭着肩膀跟在我后面。”
一个女生恳求道:“我们现在可以出发了吗?我饿坏了。”
埃玛又笑了,说道:“没问题,我们带上密斯一起去。”
她进了寝室,过了一会儿,牵了一只狗出来。这群女生在门口乖乖地排起了一列长队,准备迎战外面的寒冷。每个人都把手放在了前面女生的肩膀上。
埃玛打开了大门,把大家领了出来。她笑着说:“我猜,你们可以把这个称做盲人给正常人引路。”
说完,埃玛和导盲犬密斯带领着这群饥饿的鸭子朝自助食堂走去。
把东西收拾干净
Learning How to Be Roommates
埃尔莎·林奇 / Elas Lyunch
I was never very neat. Later in life I learned to attribute this flaw to my creative genius, saying that my bouts of disorganization were simply the flip side of my unique gifts and talents. Yet, when I arrived at college, I hadn' t come up with any impressive reasons for my big messes. They just were—and my roommate didn' t seem to appreciate their contribution to my bright future.