“She had on a low necked dress covered with silverspangles， and diamond rings and ear bobs. Her arms wasbare； and she was using a desk telephone with one hand，and drinking tea with the other.
“‘Well， boys，’ says she after a bit， ‘what is it？’
“I told her in as few words as possible what we wantedfor Bill， and the price we could pay.
“‘Those western appointments，’ says she， ‘are easy. Le’mesee， now，’ says she， ‘who could put that through for us. Nouse fooling with the Territorial delegates. I guess，’ says she，‘that Senator Sniper would be about the man. He’s fromsomewheres in the West. Let’s see how he stands on myprivate menu card.’ She takes some papers out of a pigeonholewith the letter ‘S’ over it.
“‘Yes，’ says she， ‘he’s marked with a star； that means“ready to serve.” Now， let’s see. “Age 55； married twice；Presbyterian， likes blondes， Tolstoi， poker and stewedterrapin； sentimental at third bottle of wine.” Yes，’ shegoes on， ‘I am sure I can have your friend， Mr. Bummer，appointed Minister to Brazil.’
“‘Humble，’ says I. ‘And United States Marshal was theberth.’
“‘Oh， yes，’ says Mrs. Avery. ‘I have so many deals ofthis sort I sometimes get them confused. Give me all thememoranda you have of the case， Mr. Peters， and comeback in four days. I think it can be arranged by then.’
“So me and Andy goes back to our hotel and waits.
Andy walks up and down and chews the left end of hismustache.
“‘A woman of high intellect and perfect beauty is a rarething， Jeff，’ says he.
“‘As rare，’ says I， ‘as an omelet made from the eggs of thefabulous bird known as the epidermis，’ says I.
“‘A woman like that，’ says Andy， ‘ought to lead a man tothe highest positions of opulence and fame.’
“‘I misdoubt，’ says I， ‘if any woman ever helped a manto secure a job any more than to have his meals readypromptly and spread a report that the other candidate’swife had once been a shoplifter. They are no moreadapted for business and politics，’ says I， ‘than AlgernonCharles Swinburne is to be floor manager at one ofChuck Connor’s annual balls. I know，’ says I to Andy， ’thatsometimes a woman seems to step out into the kalsominelight as the charge d’affaires of her man’s political job. Buthow does it come out？ Say， they have a neat little berthsomewhere as foreign consul of record to Afghanistan orlockkeeper on the Delaware and Raritan Canal. One daythis man finds his wife putting on her overshoes and threemonths supply of bird seed into the canary’s cage. “SiouxFalls？” he asks with a kind of hopeful light in his eye. “No，Arthur，” says she， “Washington. We’re wasted here，” saysshe. “You ought to be Toady Extraordinary to the Court ofSt. Bridget or Head Porter of the Island of Porto Rico. I’mgoing to see about it.”
“‘Then this lady，’ I says to Andy， ‘moves against theauthorities at Washington with her baggage and munitions，consisting of five dozen indiscriminating letters written toher by a member of the Cabinet when she was 15； a letterof introduction from King Leopold to the SmithsonianInstitution， and a pink silk costume with canary coloredspats.
“‘Well and then what？’ I goes. ‘She has the lettersprinted in the evening papers that match her costume， shelectures at an informal tea given in the palm room of theB. & O. Depot and then calls on the President. The ninthAssistant Secretary of Commerce and Labor， the first aidede-camp of the Blue Room and an unidentified coloredman are waiting there to grasp her by the hands—and feet.
They carry her out to S.W.B. street and leave her on acellar door. That ends it. The next time we hear of her sheis writing postcards to the Chinese Minister asking him toget Arthur a job in a tea store.’
“‘Then，’ says Andy， ‘you don’t think Mrs. Avery will landthe Marshalship for Bill？’
“‘I do not，’ says I. ‘I do not wish to be a sceptic， butI doubt if she can do as well as you and me could havedone.’
“‘I don’t agree with you，’ says Andy. ‘I’ll bet you she does.
I’m proud of having a higher opinion of the talent and thepowers of negotiation of ladies.’
“We was back at Mrs. Avery’s hotel at the time sheappointed. She was looking pretty and fine enough， as faras that went， to make any man let her name every officerin the country. But I hadn’t much faith in looks， so I wascertainly surprised when she pulls out a document withthe great seal of the United States on it， and ‘WilliamHenry Humble’ in a fine， big hand on the back.
“‘You might have had it the next day， boys，’ says Mrs.
Avery， smiling. ‘I hadn’t the slightest trouble in gettingit，’ says she. ‘I just asked for it， that’s all. Now， I’d like totalk to you a while，’ she goes on， ‘but I’m awfully busy，and I know you’ll excuse me. I’ve got an Ambassadorship，two Consulates and a dozen other minor applications tolook after. I can hardly find time to sleep at all. You’ll givemy compliments to Mr. Humble when you get home， ofcourse.’
“Well， I handed her the 500， which she pitched into herdesk drawer without counting. I put Bill’s appointment inmy pocket and me and Andy made our adieus.
“We started back for the Territory the same day. Wewired Bill： ‘Job landed； get the tall glasses ready，’ and wefelt pretty good.
“Andy joshed me all the way about how little I knewabout women.
“‘All right，’ says I. ‘I’ll admit that she surprised me. Butit’s the first time I ever knew one of ’em to manipulate apiece of business on time without getting it bungled up insome way，’ says I.
“Down about the edge of Arkansas I got out Bill’sappointment and looked it over， and then I handed it toAndy to read. Andy read it， but didn’t add any remarks tomy silence.
“The paper was for Bill， all right， and a genuine document，but it appointed him postmaster of Dade City， Fla.
“Me and Andy got off the train at Little Rock and sentBill’s appointment to him by mail. Then we struck northeasttoward Lake Superior.
“I never saw Bill Humble after that.”