“‘哦，你指的大概是睡衫。’安迪说
“‘I do not.’ says I. ‘I mean dromedariesdromedary n.单峰骆驼.’ But I never could make Andy understand； so we never ordered em. Of course， I meant them long bedrooms in colleges where the scholars sleep in a row.
“‘不是睡衫。’我说。‘我指的是舒适。’但我始终没法让安迪明白；因此我们也始终没有订购。当然，我指的是各个学校都有的，学生们可以一排排地睡在里面的长卧室。
“Well， sir， the Worlds University was a success. We had scholars from five States and territories， and Floresville had a boom. A new shooting gallery and a pawn shop and two more saloons started； and the boys got up a college yell that went this way：
“嘿，先生，世界大学可真了不起。我们有了来自五个州和准州地区的学生，百花村突然兴旺了起来。一个新的打靶游乐场、一家当铺和两家酒店开了张；孩子们编了一支校歌，歌词是这样的：
“‘Raw， raw， raw，
Done， done， done，
Peters， Tucker，
Lots of fun，
Bow—wow—wow，
Haw—hee—haw，
World University，
Hip， hurrah！
“‘劳、劳、劳，
颓、顿、顿，
彼得斯、塔克，
真带劲。
波——嘎——嘎，
霍——嘻——霍，
世界大学
嘻普呼啦！’
“The scholars was a fine lot of young men， and me and Andy was as proud of em as if they belonged to our own family.
“学生们是一批好青年，我和安迪都为他们感到骄傲，仿佛他们是我们家里人似的。
“But one day about the last of October Andy comes to me and asks if I have any idea how much money we had left in the bank. I guesses about sixteen thousand. ‘Our balance，’ says Andy， ‘is 821.62.’
“十月底的一天，安迪跑来问我知不知道我们银行里的存款还有多少。我猜还有一万六千左右。‘我们的结存，’安迪说，‘只有八百二十一元六角二分了。’
“‘What！’ says I， with a kind of a yell. ‘Do you mean to tell me that them infernal clodhopping， doughheaded， pupfaced， goosebrained， gatestealing， rabbiteared sons of horse thieves have soaked us for that much？’
“‘什么！’我不禁大叫一声。‘难道你是告诉我，那些盗马贼的患子，那些无法无天，土头土脑，傻里傻气，狗子脸，兔子耳，偷门板的家伙竟然害得我们花了那么多钱？’
“‘No less.’ says Andy.
“‘一点不错。’安迪说。
“‘Then， to Helvetia with philanthropy，’ says I.
“‘那么，去他妈的慈善事业吧。’我说。
“‘Not necessarily.’ says Andy. ‘Philanthropy，’ says he， ‘when run on a good business basis is one of the best grafts going. Ill look into the matter and see if it cant be straightened out.’
“‘那也不必。’安迪说。‘慈善事业，如果经营得法，是招摇撞骗的行道中最有出息的一门。我来筹划筹划，看看能不能补救一下。’
“The next week I am looking over the payroll of our faculty when I run across a new name—Professor James Darnley McCorkle， chair of mathematics， salary 100 per week. I yells so loud that Andy runs in quick.
“下一个星期，我在翻阅我们教职员工的薪金单时，忽然发现了一个新的名字——詹姆斯·达思利·麦科克尔教授，数学讲座，周薪一百元。我一气之下大嚷一声，安迪赶忙跑了进来。
“‘Whats this.’ says I. ‘A professor of mathematics at more than 5，000 a year？ How did this happen？ Did he get in through the window and appoint himself？’
“‘这是怎么回事？’我说。‘年薪五千多元的数学教授？怎么搞的？他是从窗户里爬进来，自己委任的吗？’
“‘I wired to Frisco for him a week ago.’ says Andy. ‘In ordering the faculty we seemed to have overlooked the chair of mathematics.’
“‘一星期前，我打电报去旧金山把他请来的。’安迪说，‘我们订购教授的时候，似乎遗漏了数学讲座。’
“‘A good thing we did.’ says I. ‘We can pay his salary two weeks， and then our philanthropy will look like the ninth hole on the Skibo golf links.’
“‘幸好遗漏了。’我说。‘付他两星期薪金后，我们的慈善事业就要像斯基波高尔夫球场的第九个球洞一样糟啦。’
“‘Wait a while，’ says Andy， ‘and see how things turn out. We have taken up too noble a cause to draw out now. Besides， the further I gaze into the retail philanthropy business the better it looks to me. I never thought about investigating it before. Come to think of it now，’ goes on Andy， ‘all the philanthropists I ever knew had plenty of money. I ought to have looked into that matter long ago， and located which was the cause and which was the effect.’
“‘别着急，’安迪说，‘先看看情况如何发展。我们从事的事业太高尚了，现在不能随便退却。何况我对这种零售的慈善事业越看越有希望。以前我从没有想到要加以认真研究。现在想想看，’安迪往下说，‘我所知道的慈善家都有许多钱。我早就应该注意到这一点，确定什么是风什么是果。’