There is only one person with whom I will discuss my dilemma overwhether to have my feet fixed-it s not something one brings up in socialsituations,foot problems being slightly less interesting than afflictions of thebowel-and that person of course is Parker.“Does it bother you more than it used to?”Parker asks.I am sitting on thefloor,massaging my feet.“Only when I think about it,”I answer,though what I really mean is that Ithink about it almost all the time.What with eliminating running from my life,I have a bit more time eachday.Time to relax with coffee on Saturday mornings.Stretch out and read thenewspaper.“What you need,”my friend says,“is to become vegetarian.Don t eat anymeat.Animals are killed in violence and cruelty: they die in fear.If you eatfear,you become fearful.”
Yes.Not only that,there are toxins in much of the food we eat.So Ichange my ways.I rarely spend time in the kitchen anymore,except to makepotfuls of soup from organic vegetables.I buy certified organic fruit at thehealth food store.It has blemishes.“That s the way real fruit looks,”the clerksays;“in fact,some people won t even buy fruit that looks perfect any more.”Isift through the bin,looking especially for misshapen apples and motleyoranges; I want my money s worth.I also try out numerous low-fat recipes thatwill enable my family to live longer in this increasingly violent world.“What isthis stuff?”my son says,flicking the little bits of white around on his plate ofcarrot-broccoli stir,fry on steamed brown rice.“ What do you mean,tofu？TO FU ?Toe food?”
Also I bake whole grain bread.But mostly I am too busy with a newexercise regime.Biking,walking briskly,low impact aerobics at the rec centre.Gentle exercises for the temple of the body.A month of this and I am ready to buy a Little Black Dress.At home,tosurprise Parker,I try it on.I even go to the trouble of putting on“SheerMidnight”hose,then I rummage through the back of my closet,find and blowthe dust off a pair of classic,black pumps,and squeeze into these.It snecessary; I am making a fashion statement.
“Do you still think I m attractive?”
Parker is watching the news,eating his vegetarian casserole from a plate onhis lap.The kids are in the kitchen,sulking over theirs.Not allowed to leavethe table till it s all finished,he says he can t stand to watch them whine overperfectly good food.“ There s nothing wrong with those peas,”he insists.“That s the colour they turn when they re cooked.”In our marriage,I make allthe dinners.We started out sharing the cooking,practising equality as if it werean acquired skill,as opposed to an attitude which is how we see it now.
But Ibegan to balk at Shake-and-Bake every time it was his turn so now he makes thekids toast in the morning and peels potatoes on occasion,but I m the one whodecides the menus.He hasn t said anything specific about the vegetarian dishes.Just like he never commented when I decided to serve fish twice a week,orwhen I went through a period of adding oat bran to the meatloaf.“I like everything you make,”is all he ever says.“Do you think I m attractive?”I repeat.( I ve forgotten that it s the dress Iwas going to ask about.) Parker squashes a pallid pea onto a tine of his fork,using his fingers.“I do,I always have,I always will,”he says.It s what healways says.I slump,I slouch.I realize: “You re not even looking.”
It s not just the pain or even the lengthy recovery time of surgery.I mafraid of the cutting,the separation of things that were connected,even ifabnormally.“ There might be complications,” the surgeon said.“ Even asuccessful operation could be,if you consider it in a certain light,acomplication-one more impact to absorb.” Cinderella wannabe,onemore,tired role.And I will not depend on constraining,synthetic pink devices.I let my friend talk me into a pair of new shoes,not joggers or cross-trainers but those walking shoes that are so popular.“I think I d better bring out a‘10’,”the salesclerk says.“Good idea,”I agree.“When I buy a pair of shoes,I like to get mymoney s worth.”
Later,after the kids are in bed,Parker strums his guitar and sings“Oh mydarlin,oh my darlin...”but when he gets to the part where Clementine hasshoes that number nine,he changes it to Maureen with shoes size thirteen.Thatisn t true,I tell him; I can still get into a nine-and-a-half.With those enormousfeet,he goes on,with a big,wide base like that,no one could tip you over.You re solid.Anyway,I think your feet are funny,but your inner thighs,theskin of your inner thighs,my god the skin of your inner thighs...Those creatures inside me,the ones with the voracious appetite,they vebanded together into one and right now I feel like Superwoman: I am them all.And,I tell you,this is one powerful character.If I let her go she could saunterthrough any doorway,stamp out all kinds of criminals,stride across continents.But for now she is thinking of wrapping her legs around her lover s back andcrossing her giant feet to hold him right where he is.
Ⅰ.About the Author
Sharleen Jonasson is a business journalist who has written for magazines,newspapers and corporate publications,in print and online,in the U.S.,Canada,and Europe.Her short fiction has been published in Mississippi Reviewand Blue Fiction.She lives in Victoria,B.C.,Canada,with her husband andthree children.
Ⅱ.Words and Expression
sbunion n.[医] 姆囊炎(大趾内侧的肿炎)
orthopedic a.整形外科的。
throb v.(of the heart,etc.)to beat rapidly or violently; pound (心脏等)快而剧烈地跳动; 悸动;怦怦跳。
mimic n.one who imitates,especially one who copies or mimics others,as for amusement 如为了娱乐而模仿其他人的人,小丑。
pragmatism n.实用主义。
boo v.to express contempt,scorn,or disapproval of by booing作嘘声 int.嘘 !
cue n.a signal,a reminder or a hint,such as a word or anaction,used to prompt another event in a performance 提示,提词,暗示。
tsk int.(表示不赞成、 同情、 不耐烦等)啧啧。
miscast v.to cast in an unsuitable role 使担任不适合的角色。
femininity n.the quality or condition of being feminine 作为女性的气质或条件。
misshapen adj.奇形怪状的,畸形的。
batter v.to hit heavily and repeatedly with violent blows 敲碎,捣毁; 以连续猛击来捣毁,砸烂,击伤。
insteps n.脚背(人脚足尖和踝骨之间突起的中间部位)callus a.硬茧。
wedge n.楔子。
bumpy a.崎岖不平的。
bowel n.the intestine 常作 bowels 肠子。
toxins n.[生化][生]毒素。
potfuls n.一壶的量,一锅。
flick v.to touch or hit with a light,quick blow 轻拍,轻击,轻弹,轻轻拂去。
aerobics n.有氧运动法,增氧健身法。