Several years ago, while attending a communications course, I experienced a most unusual process. The instructor asked us to list anything in our past that we felt ashamed of, guilty about, regretted, or incomplete about. The next week he invited participants to read their lists aloud. This seemed like a very private process, but there’s always some brave soul in the crowd who will volunteer. As people read their lists, mine grew longer. After three weeks, I had 101 items on my list, the instructor then suggested that we find ways to make amends, apologize to people, or take some action to right any wrongdoing. I was seriously wondering how this could ever improve my communications, having visions of alienating just about everyone from my life.
The next week, the man next to me raised his hand and volunteered this story.
“While making my list, I remembered an incident from high school. I grew up in a small town in Iowa. There was a sheriff in town that none of us kids liked. One night, my two buddies and I decided to play a trick on Sheriff Brown. After drinking a few beers, we found a can of red paint, climbed the tall water tank in the middle of town, and wrote, on the tank, in bright red letters: Sheriff Brown is an s.o.b.. The next day, the town arose to see our glorious sign. Within two hours, Sheriff Brown had my two pals and me in his office. My friends confessed and I lied, denying the truth. No one ever found out.
“Nearly 20 years later, Sheriff Brown’s name appears on my list. I didn’t even know if he was still alive. Last weekend, I dialed information in my hometown back in Iowa. Sure enough, there was a Roger Brown still listed. I dialed his number. After a few rings, I heard: ‘Hello?’I said:
“‘Sheriff Brown?’ Pause. ‘Yup.’ ‘Well, this is Jimmy Calkins. And I want you to know that I did it.’ Pause. ‘I knew it!’ he yelled back. We had a good laugh and a lively discussion. His closing words were‘Jimmy, I always felt badly for you because your buddies got it off their chest, and I knew you were carrying it around all these years. I want to thank you for calling me... for your sake.’”
Jimmy inspired me to clear up all 101 items on my list. It took me almost two years, but it became the springboard and true inspiration for my career as a conflict mediator. No matter how difficult the conflict, crisis or situation, I always remember that it’s never too late to clear up the past and begin resolution.
几年前，我在参加一个交际课程班的时候，经历了一段非比寻常的过程。教员让我们把过去所有感到羞愧、内疚、遗憾或半途而废的事，全部列出清单。第二个星期，他邀请学员把清单大声读出来。这看起来可是个人隐私，但人群中，还是有勇敢的人自愿参加。听人们读时，我的清单更长了。过了三周后，我已经在清单上写下了101条。然后，教员建议我们想方设法弥补，或赔礼道歉，或者采取某些行动以改正错误。我认真地考虑这个问题，这样怎么能提高我的交际能力呢？我觉得，这只会让我生命中的人疏远自己。
又一周过后，坐在我旁边的一个人举起了手，自愿讲述了一个这样的故事。
“我列举清单时，想起了高中时的一件小事。我是在艾奥瓦州的一个小镇长大的，那里有一个治安官，我们所有的小孩都讨厌他。一天晚上，我和两个朋友决定把治安官布朗好好捉弄一番。我们喝了点儿啤酒，然后，找到一罐红漆，爬到镇中心高高的蓄水池上，用鲜红的大字在上面写道：治安官布朗是畜生。第二天，全镇人都看到了我们的‘杰作’。不到两个小时，我和两个朋友就被带到了他的办公室。我的两个朋友招供了，而我撒了谎，拒不承认事实，后来也没有人发现。
“大约过了20多年，我的清单上出现了治安官布朗的名字。他是否还活着，我也不知道。上个周末，我打电话到家乡艾奥州瓦咨询。果然，清单上有一个叫罗杰?布朗的人，于是我拨通了他的电话。电话响了几声后，我听到：‘你好？’我说：
“‘是治安官布朗吗？’迟疑了一会儿。‘是的。’‘呃，我是吉米?考克斯。我想让你知道，我曾做过那件事。’又停了一下。‘我早就知道了！’他大声说道。我们都笑了，并欢快地聊了起来。最后，他说道：‘吉米，以前我总是为你难过，因为，你的朋友说出了心里话，而你这些年来一直背负着它。我很感谢你打电话给我……为你的解脱。’”
吉米鼓励我清除清单上的101件事，为此我几乎花了两年时间。但这件事真正激发了我作为矛盾调解员的灵感，成为我的事业的新起点。不论境况何等艰难，我总会记得，抹去过去的阴影，踏上新的寻求之路，永远都不晚。
不论境况何等艰难，总要记得，抹去过去的阴影，踏上新的寻求之路，永远都不晚。
1. After three weeks, I had 101 items on my_________, the instructor then suggested that we find ways to_________ amends, apologize to people, or take some_________ to right any wrongdoing. I was seriously wondering how this could ever_________ my communications, having visions of alienating just about everyone_________ my life.
2. The next day, the town arose to see our glorious_________. Within two_________, Sheriff Brown had my two pals and me in his_________. My friends confessed and I_________, denying the_________. No one ever found_________.
1. 我觉得，这只会让我生命中的人疏远自己。
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2. 以前我总是为你难过，因为，你的朋友说出了心里话，而你这些年来一直背负着它。我很感谢你打电话给我……为你的解脱。
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3. 不论境况何等艰难，我总会记得，抹去过去的阴影，踏上新的寻求之路，永远都不晚。
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1. One night, my two buddies and I decided to play a trick on Sheriff Brown.
play a trick on：捉弄
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2. Jimmy, I always felt badly for you because your buddies got it off their chest...
get sth off one’s chest：说出积存已久的话
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你的恢复速度有多快
What Is Your Recovery Rate?
佚名 / Anonymous