中国人称婚姻为“终身大事”，可以说婚姻在平民百姓生活中的重要性是排在第一位的。民间的婚姻仪式在千百年的时间里发展出了丰富的礼仪和礼俗，也呈现出多样的民间习俗。本篇介绍的是近世民间传统结婚的一些特点和相关礼俗。
1.什么是旧时婚姻的“六礼”？
What were the six-rituals of Chinese marriage in ancient times?
Chinese marriage is usually referred to as a“Great Event in Life-time (终身大事).”In ancient times, the marriage procedure usually consisted of the following“six rituals.”
a. When an unmarried boy’s family finds a prospective daughter-in-law, they will invite a“middle man”to approach the prospective daughter-in-law’s family, present gifts, and propose the possible marriage between the two families. If the proposal is declined, the gift is rejected.
b. If the girl’s family accepts the proposal, the boy’s family will write a letter to the girl’s family asking her date of birth.
c.
When her family replies, the boy’s family will pray to their ancestors to ask if the couple will be auspicious. If the prediction does not feel right, the marriage will be called off.
d.
If the couple appears auspicious, the boy’s family will arrange the“middle man”to deliver the marriage documents and wedding gifts to the prospective daughter-in-law’s home.
e.
Once the boy’s family finalizes the wedding day, they will confirm the day with the girl’s family by sending a formal letter and more gifts. If the girl’s family refuses the gifts, another date must be found.
f.
On the wedding day, the groom departs with a troop of escorts and musicians who play cheerful music all the way to the bride’s home. The bride’s father meets the parade outside the home. He would take the groom to the ancestral temple where they pray to their ancestors. At the same time, the wedding sedan chair is placed outside the home until the bride arrives. The groom bows his head low to invite the bride to take the chair, and then they both travel together for the wedding ceremony in the groom’s home.
It is said that these six-rituals were performed in the period between the Han Dynasty and the Tang Dynasty. In the Song Dynasty, the rituals were simplified into“four-rituals”or“three rituals.”In the Ming Dynasty many families of officials abided by the“six-rituals,”but non-official families still followed the“three-ritual”procedure.
Notes：1）procedure程序；2）prospective未来的；3）reject拒绝；4）auspicious吉祥的；5）call off取消；6）parade结队，行列；7）non-official非官方的
2.自古以来对结婚年龄有什么规定吗？
What was legal age to marry in olden times?
In Chinese history the prescribed age of marriage varied. During the Zhou Dynasty, a man should be married by the age of 30, and a woman by 20. At that time, people thought that a man’s bones and muscles would be strong enough to withstand the burden of fatherhood at the age of 30; a woman would be full-grown and ready to be a mother when she reached the age of 20.
As the dynasties went by, the prescribed age for marriage gradually lowered. During the Spring and Autumn Period, Qi Huangong (齐桓公), king of the Qi State decreed a man should be married by the age of 30 and a woman by 15; towards the end of the Spring and Autumn Period, King Gou Jian of the Yue State (越王勾践) said that parents would be penalized if their son did not get married by the age of 20 and their daughter by 17.
During the Han Dynasty, unmarried women of 15 years or older had to pay 5 times more taxes than required, thus forcing them to marry at an even earlier age.
In the Western Jin State (西晋), local officials would select a groom for the woman who had not been married off by the age of 17. In the Northern Zhou State (北周), a man was required to marry by 15 and a woman by 13.
In the early Tang Dynasty, the Tang rulers adopted a rehabilitative policy in order to relieve people out of the severe social conflicts. Part of the policy stated that a man should get married by the age of 20 and a woman by 15. In the middle period of the Tang Dynasty, the latest age for marriage changed to 16 for a man and 13 for a woman. The local government would interfere if any man or woman failed to get married by the prescribed age.
From the Song Dynasty to the Qing Dynasty, the latest age for a man was about 16 years old and for a woman about 14.
A new Marriage Law, which went into effect in 1950, stipulates that although later marriage should be encouraged, the minimum age for marriage is currently 22 for men and 20 for women.
Notes：1）withstand承受；2）fatherhood父亲的身份，父性；3）full-grown发育完全的；4）penalize惩罚；5）rehabilitative使复原的；6）conflict冲突；7）interfere干扰；9）stipulate规定；10）minimum最低限度
3.在包办婚姻中媒人起到什么作用?
How did a matchmaker act in “the arranged marriage”?
A matchmaker is also called“the old man under the moonlight (月下老人).”This saying originates from an ancient legend. As it says, there was a scholar whose name was Wei Gu (韦固). One night Wei Gu passed by a town where he came across an old man who sat at the roadside and read a book under the moonlight. The old man had a large bag with him. For curiosity the scholar came to the old man and said,“what are you reading?”“It is a marriage registration book,”replied the old man. The scholar said again,“what’s inside the large bag?”“Well,”said the old man,“the bag contains pieces of red threads. I use the threads to tie the feet of an unmarried man and woman. Once the feet of the man and the woman are tied with my red thread, they are destined to get married with each other even though they are thousands of miles apart.”
In bygone days the sexes were segregated, and a maiden was not supposed to see a male stranger under any circumstances. The higher the family standing was, the stricter the segregation. Such being the case, marriages had to be arranged. In looking for a prospective wife or husband for their son or daughter, the parents had to consider a number of factors, and they would invite a professional matchmaker to act for possible mates for young boys and girls and perform in the following old-fashioned wedding procedure.