So，this was undeniably the it：the truly life-altering break I had always dreamed of.And，I went to work.I gathered all my funny friends and poured all my years of comedy experience into building that show over the summer，gathering the talent and figuring out the sensibility.We debuted on September 13，1993and I was happy with our effort.I felt like I had seized the momentand put my very best foot forward.And this is what the most respected and widely read television critic，Tom Shales，wrote in theWashington Post：
"O"Br ien is a l iv in g c ol l a ge of annoying nervous habits.He giggles and titters，jiggles about and fiddles with his cuffs.He had dark，beady little eyes like a rabbit.He"s one of the whitest white men ever.O"Brien is a switch on the guest whowon"t leave：he"s the host who should never have come.Let the Late show with Conan O"Brien become the late，Late Show and may the host return to Conan O"Blivion whence he came."
There"s more but it gets kind of mean.
Needless to say，I took a lot of criticism，some of it deserved，some of it excessive.And it hurt like you wouldn"t believe.But I"m telling you all this for a reason.I"ve had a lot of success and I"ve had a lot of failure.I"ve looked good and I"ve looked bad.I"ve been praised and I"ve been criticized.But my mistakes have been necessary.Except for Wilson"s House of Suede and Leather.That was just stupid.
I"ve dwelled on my failures today because，as graduates of Harvard，your biggest liability is your need to succeed.Your need to always find yourself on the sweet side of the bell curve.Because success is a lot like a bright，white tuxedo.You feel terrific when you get it，but then you"re desperately afraid of getting it dirty，of spoiling it in any way.I left the cocoon of Harvard，I left the cocoon of Saturday Night Live，I left the cocoon of The Simpsons.And each time it was bruising and tumultuous.And yet，every failure was freeing，and today I"m as nostalgic for the bad as I am for the good.
S o，t h a t"s wh a t I w ish for a l l of you：the bad as well as the good.Fall dow n ，ma ke a mess，brea k somet hingoccasionally.And remember that the story is never over.If it"s all right，I"d like to read a little something from just this year：
"S o me how，Con a n O"Br ien h a s transformed himself into the brightest star in the Late Night firmament.His comedy is the gold standard and Conan himselfis not only the quickest and most inventive wit of his generation，but quite possible the greatest host ever."
Ladies and Gentlemen，Class of 2000，I wrote that this morning，as proof that，when all else fails，there"s always delusion.
I"ll go now，to make bigger mistakes and to embarrass this fine institution even more.But let me leave you with one last thought：If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall，people will think you"re drunk.
Thank you.
参考译文（李定纹译）
感谢你们邀请我今天来到这里。上次被邀请来哈佛，花了我11万美元，所以如果我表现得有点疑惧，请大家原谅我。我想提前声明一下我今天下午的一个目标：今天演讲内容趣味性一定要达到阿玛亚·森的水平，他是道德哲学和经济学家，并且明天他要来作演讲。我们一定要比有影响的经济理论家得到更多大家的笑声。
哈佛2000届毕业生们，15年前，我也坐在你们今天所坐的位置，也跟你们现在所想的完全一样：以后将会发生什么？我能在这个世界上找到自己的位置吗？我是像一张白纸一样毕业了吗？我还有24个小时，并且我室友的妈妈长得真辣，我发誓她现在正在打量我。
今天来这里，对我来说很特别。我很想念这个学校，最令我想念的是哈佛广场--它太与众不同了。世界上没有别的地方能让你找到一个戴着穆斯林头巾，穿着红袜夹克，并且在一个女同性恋书店里工作的男人了。嘿！我只是喜欢我父亲的这个工作罢了。
今天对我来说格外甜蜜，是因为在我毕业的时候，我曾经非常想在毕业典礼上演讲，不幸的是，当时我的演讲被拒绝了。如果大家能纵容我一下，我很愿意念一段我十五年前的演讲稿：
"同学们，当我们今天坐在这儿听那些老调重弹但绝对经得起时间考验的话语时，我想对未来做一些预测：
我相信有一天，南方某小州的州长，会升任到这片土地上最高的职位。他缺乏政治技巧，但却可以以自身道德权威的纯粹力量来领导大家。
我相信公正将成为社会的主导。并且有一天，柏林墙将会倒掉，东西柏林将会永远统一在共产党的统治下。
我相信，有一天，高速的电脑网络将会在世界各地遍布开来并极大的丰富人民的生活，因此人们将不再对无聊的闲言碎语和黄色读物感兴趣。
最后，我相信，某天的晚上，我会在主流媒体上有一台电视节目，数百万民众都可以看到它，这台节目的内容是重新制订法律法规，帮助捕获在逃犯。"
然后演讲稿里面还有一些关于华尔街衰败的内容，我想我们就不用读了。
我要说的重点是，尽管你们觉得我是个名人，是文化精英里的一员，是个备受崇拜的人，但是事实上我曾经就像你们一样，只是这里的一个学生。我在1981年的秋天来到这里，住在荷尔沃希。毫不夸张地说，我的照片是当时新生相册里最丑的一个。哈佛在那个夏天跟我要照片，我以为他们只是用那张照片做个记录，所以我在八月的大热天里，慢跑到一个拍证件照的地方，拍了一张像是尸体的照片。更糟糕的是，当新生相册做完时，他们把我的照片跟凯瑟琳·奥克森伯格的放在了一起。她是个金发碧眼的美人演员，她是85届的，但是因为要在"王朝"中扮演一个角色而推迟入学。我的照片随便放在哪一页都很丑了，但是挨着凯瑟琳·奥克森伯格的照片，我看起来就像车祸现场。
你们看，那时候我六英尺四英寸高，体重150镑。最近，我让一些建筑工程师把这些数据输入进一个电脑模式，从计算机所给的结果来看，我于1987年在台湾倒塌，压死了好几百人。