Be a Leader： How to Change People WithoutGiving Offense or Arousing Resentment
Chapter 22
If You Must Find Fault， This is the Way to Begin
A friend of mine was a guest at the White House for a weekendduring the administration of Calvin Coolidge. Drifting into thePresident’s private office， he heard Coolidge say to one of hissecretaries， “That’s a pretty dress you are wearing this morning，and you are a very attractive young woman.”
That was probably the most effusive praise Silent Cal hadever bestowed upon a secretary in his life. It was so unusual，so unexpected， that the secretary blushed in confusion. ThenCoolidge said， “Now， don’t get stuck up. I just said that to makeyou feel good. From now on， I wish you would be a little bit morecareful with your Punctuation.”
His method was probably a bit obvious， but the psychologywas superb. It is always easier to listen to unpleasant things afterwe have heard some praise of our good points.
A barber lathers a man before he shaves him; and that isprecisely what McKinley did back in 1896， when he was runningfor President.
One of the prominent Republicans of that day had written acampaign speech that he felt was just a trifle better than Cicero andPatrick Henry and Daniel Webster all rolled into one. With greatglee， this chap read his immortal speech aloud to McKinley. Thespeech had its fine points， but it just wouldn’t do. It would haveraised a tornado of criticism. McKinley didn’t want to hurt theman’s feelings. He must not kill the man’s splendid enthusiasm，and yet he had to say “no.” Note how adroitly he did it.
“My friend， that is a splendid speech， a magnificent speech，”
McKinley said. “No one could have prepared a better one. Thereare many occasions on which it would be precisely the right thingto say， but is it quite suitable to this particular occasion? Soundand sober as it is from your standpoint， I must consider its effectfrom the party’s standpoint. Now you go home and write a speechalong the lines I indicate， and send me a copy of it.”
He did just that. McKinley blue-penciled and helped himrewrite his second speech， and he became one of the effectivespeakers of the campaign.
Here is the second most famous letter that Abraham Lincolnever wrote. （His most famous one was written to Mrs. Bixby，expressing his sorrow for the death of the five sons she had lost inbattle.） Lincoln probably dashed this letter off in five minutes; yetit sold at public auction in 1926 for twelve thousand dollars， andthat， by the way， was more money than Lincoln was able to saveduring half a century of hard work.
The letter was written to General Joseph Hooker on April 26，1863， during the darkest period of the Civil War. For eighteenmonths， Lincoln’s generals had been leading the Union Armyfrom one tragic defeat to another. Nothing but futile， stupidhuman butchery. The nation was appalled. Thousands of soldiershad deserted from the army， and en the Republican members ofthe Senate had revolted and wanted to force Lincoln out of theWhite House. “We are now on the brink of destruction，” Lincolnsaid. “It appears to me that even the Almighty is against us. I canhardly see a ray of hope.” Such was the black sorrow and chaosout of which this letter came.
I am printing the letter here because it shows how Lincolntried to change an obstreperous general when the very fate ofthe nation could have depended upon the general’s action. Thisis perhaps the sharpest letter Abe Lincoln wrote after he became President; yet you will note that he praised General Hookerbefore he spoke of his grave faults.
Yes， they were grave faults， but Lincoln didn’t call them that.
Lincoln was more conservative， more diplomatic. Lincoln wrote：“There are some things in regard to which I am not quite satisfiedwith you.” Talk about tact！ And diplomacy！ Here is the letteraddressed to General Hooker：I have placed you at the head of the Army of the Potomac. Ofcourse， I have done this upon what appears to me to be sufficientreasons， and yet I think it best for you to know that there aresome things in regard to which I am not quite satisfied with you.
I believe you to be a brave and skillful soldier， which， ofcourse， I like. I also believe you do not mix politics with yourprofession， in which you are right. You have confidence inyourself， which is a valuable if not an indispensable quality.
You are ambitious， which， within reasonable bounds，does good rather than harm， But I think that during GeneralBurnside’s command of the army you have taken counsel of yourambition and thwarted him as much as you could， in which youdid a great wrong to the country and to a most meritorious andhonorable brother officer.
I have heard， in such a way as to believe it， of your recentlysaying that both the army and the Government needed a dictator.
Of course， it was not for this， but in spite of it， that I have givenyou command.
Only those generals who gain successes can set up as dictators.
What I now ask of you is military success and I will risk thedictatorship.
The Government will support you to the utmost of its ability，which is neither more nor less than it has done and will do forall commanders. I much fear that the spirit which you haveaided to infuse into the army， of criticizing their commander and withholding confidence from him， will now turn upon you. I shallassist you， as far as I can， to put it down.
Neither you nor Napoleon， if he were alive again， could getany good out of an army while such spirit prevails in it， and nowbeware of rashness. Beware of rashness， but with energy andsleepless vigilance go forward and give us victories.
You are not a Coolidge， a McKinley or a Lincoln. You want toknow whether this philosophy will operate for you in everydaybusiness contacts. Will it? Let’s see. Let’s take the case of W. P.
Gaw of the Wark company， Philadelphia.