The Wark company had contracted to build and completea large office building in Philadelphia by a certain specifieddate. Everything was going along well; the building wasalmost finished， when suddenly the sub-contractor making theornamental bronze work to go on the exterior of this buildingdeclared that he couldn’t make delivery on schedule. What！ Anentire building held up！ Heavy penalties！ Distressing losses！ Allbecause of one man！
Long-distance telephone calls. Arguments！ Heatedconversations！ All in vain. Then Mr. Gaw was sent to New York tobeard the bronze lion in his den.
“Do you know you are the only person in Brooklyn with yourname?” Mr. Gaw asked the president of the subcontracting firmshortly after they were introduced. The president was surprised.
“No， I didn’t know that.”
“Well，” said Mr. Gaw， “when I got off the train this morning， Ilooked in the telephone book to get your address， and you’re theonly person in the Brooklyn phone book with your name.”
“I never knew that，” the subcontractor said. He checked thephone book with interest. “Well， it’s an unusual name，” he saidproudly. “My family came from Holland and settled in New Yorkalmost two hundred years ago.” He continued to talk about his family and his ancestors for several minutes. When he finishedthat， Mr. Gaw complimented him on how large a plant he hadand compared it favorably with a number of similar plants he hadvisited. “It is one of the cleanest and neatest bronze factories Iever saw，” said Gaw.
“I’ve spent a lifetime building up this business，” the subcontractorsaid， “and I am rather proud of it. Would you like to take a lookaround the factory?”
During this tour of inspection， Mr. Gaw complimented theother man on his system of fabrication and told him how andwhy it seemed superior to those of some of his competitors. Gawcommented on some unusual machines， and the subcontractorannounced that he himself had invented those machines. Hespent considerable time showing Gaw how they operated and thesuperior work they turned out. He insisted on taking his visitor tolunch. So far， mind you， not a word had been said about the realpurpose of Gaw’s visit.
After lunch， the subcontractor said， “Now， to get down tobusiness. Naturally， I know why you’re here. I didn’t expectthat our meeting would be so enjoyable. You can go backto Philadelphia with my promise that your material will befabricated and shipped， even if other orders have to be delayed.”
Mr. Gaw got everything that he wanted without even askingfor it. The material arrived on time， and the building wascompleted on the day the completion contract specified.
Would this have happened had Mr. Gaw used the hammerand-dynamite method generally employed on such occasions?
PRINCIPLE 1：
Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Chapter 23
How to Criticize—and Not Be Hated for it
Charles Schwab was passing through one of his steel mills oneday at noon when he came across some of his employees smoking.
Immediately above their heads was a sign that said “No Smoking.”
Did Schwab point to the sign and say， “Can’t you read?” Oh， nonot Schwab. He walked over to the men， handed each one a cigar，and said， “I’ll appreciate it， boys， if you will smoke these on theoutside.” They knew that he knew that they had broken a rule—
and they admired him because he said nothing about it and gavethem a little present and made them feel important. Couldn’t keepfrom loving a man like that， could you?
John Wanamaker used the same technique. Wanamaker usedto make a tour of his great store in Philadelphia every day. Oncehe saw a customer waiting at a counter. No one was paying theslightest attention to her. The salespeople? Oh， they were in ahuddle at the far end of the counter laughing and talking amongthemselves. Wanamaker didn’t say a word. Quietly slipping behindthe counter， he waited on the woman himself and then handed thepurchase to the salespeople to be wrapped as he went on his way.
Public officials are often criticized for not being accessible totheir constituents. They are busy people， and the fault sometimeslies in overprotective assistants who don’t want to overburdentheir bosses with too many visitors.
Carl Langford， who has been mayor of Orlando， Florida， thehome of Disney World， for many years， frequently admonishedhis staff to allow people to see him， clamed he had an “open-door” policy; yet the citizens of his community were blocked bysecretaries and administrators when they called.
Finally the mayor found the solution. He removed the doorfrom his office！ His aides got the message， and the mayor hashad a truly open administration since the day his door wassymbolically thrown away.
Simply changing one three-letter word can often spell thedifference between failure and success in changing peoplewithout giving offense or arousing resentment.
Many people begin their criticism with sincere praise followedby the word “but” and ending with a critical statement. Forexample， in trying to change a child’s careless attitude towardstudies， we might say， “We’re really proud of you， Johnnie， forraising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder onyour algebra， the results would have been better.”
In this case， Johnnie might feel encouraged until he heard theword “but.” He might then question the sincerity of the originalpraise. To him， the praise seemed only to be a contrived leadin to a critical inference of failure. Credibility would be strained，and we probably would not achieve our objectives of changingJohnnie’s attitude toward his studies.
This could be easily overcome by changing the word “but” to“and.” “We’re really proud of you， Johnnie， for raiseing your gradesthis term， and by continuing the same conscientious efforts nextterm， your algebra grade can be up with all the others.”