他长得真像你
You can have mine
A lady inserted an‘ad’in the classifieds：“Husband wanted”.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing：“You can have mine.”
把我丈夫让给你
一位女士在分类广告栏目刊登了一则启事：“找丈夫”。
次日她收到了上百封信。
内容均是：“可以把我的丈夫让给你。”
He looks just like you
We brought our newborn son to the pediatrician for his first checkup. As he finished，the doctor told us，“You have a cute baby.” Smiling，I said，“I bet you say that to all new parents. ”“No，” he replied，“just to those whose babies really are good-looking. ”“So what do you say to the others？” I asked. “He looks just like you.”
他长得真像你
我们带着刚出生的儿子到儿科医生那里去做第一次健康检查。做完检查之后医生对我们说：“你们的孩子很好看。”我笑着说：“我想你对所有刚做爸爸妈妈的人都这么说。” 他回答说：“不，我只是对长得真的好看的孩子的父母才这么讲。”我问：“那你对其他人怎么说呢？”“他长的真像你。”
This is Lisa. Can I help you？
As customer-service reps，we hear a beep telling us a custome's on the line，and we're on. We repeat the same phrases so often that we can do the job in our sleep. One day a co-worker had heart surgery. In her anesthetized stupor following her operation，she heard the beep of the heart monitor and groggily said，“This is Lisa. Can I help you？”
我是丽莎，能为您做什么？
作为顾客服务代表，当我们听到“嘀”的一声就知道有一个顾客在电话线上，我们就上线。我们反反复复讲那几句同样的话，以至睡着了也能讲。有一天，一个同事做心脏手术。在手术之后，她仍然处于麻药的昏睡之中。听到心电监护仪发出的“嘀嘀”声，她虚弱地说：“我是丽莎，能为您做什么？”
Only when he's DRUNK
A man is driving with his wife，when he is pulled over by a policeman. “Sir，”says the cop.“You ，were going 60 in a 50.”“No，I wasn't.“Yes，you were，”says the wife.“Keep quiet!” says the man，angrily.“And you were't wearing a seat belt，”says the cop.“Yes，I was.”“No，you weren't，”says the wife.“SHUT UP!”says the man，really angry.“Ma'am，”asks the cop，“is he always rude and violent？”“Only when he's DRUNK.”
他只是在喝醉的时候才这样
有个男人开着车，车里坐着他老婆。一位警察让他停在路边，对他说：“先生，你在限速50的路上开60。”“我没有。”他老婆说：“你是开那么快。”男人生气地说：“闭嘴！”警察说：“你还没有系安全带。”“我系了。”他老婆说：“你是没有系。”男人非常生气地说：“闭嘴！”警察问：“夫人，他一直是那么粗鲁和野蛮吗？”“他只是在喝醉的时候才这样。”
单词&词组
Insert [in5sE:t] n.插入，刊登
classified [5klAsifaid] v.（报纸、杂志的广告或广告版）分类的
pediatrician [7pi:diE5triFEn] n.小儿科医师
checkup [5tFekQp] n.检查，核对，体格检查
anesthetized [5Enes?i7taizd] v.使麻醉，使麻木
stupor [5stju:pE] n.恍惚，昏迷，惊愕
pull over 靠向路边
seat belt座椅安全带
知道不知道
如何用英文打电话和接电话
Who do you want to speak with （talk to）？请问找哪位？
Nina，please. 尼娜。
Hold on，please.请等一下。
Oh，She is in the office of General Manager. Any message？哦，她现在总经理办公室。要留言吗？
No. I'll call later.不必了，我晚点再打来。
第一章 That record will stand forever
这个纪录永远不会被打破了
You didn't have that problem
“Your grandmother and I are going out to dinner，”I said to my teenage daughter，Lisa. “Do you want to join us？”“No way，” she answered grumpily. “I'm going to stay home and study.”That evening my mother asked if Lisa was feeling well. “She's okay，” I said，“just a little cranky.”“Intelligent children can be very temperamental，” my mother sighed. “I am lucky that you didn't have that problem.”
你没有那样的问题
我对十几岁的女儿丽莎说：“我和你姥姥一起出去吃晚饭，你要不要和我们一起去？”她烦躁地回答：“我才不去呢。我要在家里学习。”那天晚上我妈问我丽莎是不是生病了。我说：“没有。她只是脾气有点坏。”我妈叹了一口气说：“聪明的孩子会喜怒无常。我很幸运，你没有那样的问题。”
That record will stand forever
Back at my high school for the tenth reunion，I met my old coach. Walking through the gym，we came upon a plaque on which I was still listed as the record holder for the longest softball throw. Noticing my surprise，the coach said，“That record will stand forever.” I was about to make some modest disclaimer that records exist to be broken，when he added，“We stopped holding that event years ago.”
这个纪录永远不会被打破了
髙中毕业十年以后，我回母校团聚，碰到以前的教练。我们穿过体育馆的时候，看到一块牌匾，上面刻着我的名字，我仍然是垒球投掷最远纪录保持者。注意到我的诧异，老教练说：“这个纪录永远不会被打破了。”当我刚想谦虚几句说纪录的存在就是为了被打破时，他补充说：“我们几年前就取消这项比赛了。”
Pushed the wrong button
Flying through the Midwest in the summertime means one thing：turbulence. Just after a teenager girl had entered the bathroom，we hit a patch of very rough air. After the bumps had subsided，she exited the bathroom，a look of sheer terror etched on her face. “Are you all right？” 1 asked. “That turbulence was so bad.”“So that's what it was，” she said. “I thought I'd pushed the wrong button.”
按错了按钮
夏季在美国中西部飞行就意味着一件事：涡流。一个十几岁的女孩刚进入厕所，我们的飞机就碰到一片非常不稳定的气流。等颠簸平息下来以后，她从厕所里出来了，一脸恐惧的模样。我问她：“你没事吧？这股涡流可够厉害的。”她说：“原来是这么一回事。我还以为是因为我按错了按钮呢。”
The oldest thing in my house
My 12-year-old daughter asked me，“Mom，do you have a baby picture of yourself？I need it for a school project.” I gave her one without thinking to ask what the project was. A few days later I was in her classroom for a parent-teacher meeting when I noticed my face pinned to a mural the students had created. The title of their project was “The oldest thing in my house.”
我家里最老的东西
我12岁的女儿问我：“妈妈，你有小时候的照片吗？我要用来做学校的作业。”我也没问她是什么作业，就给了她一张。过了几天，我到她教室去参加家长会，发现我的脸被钉在学生们弄的一张壁画上。而她们作业的名字叫“我家里最老的东西”。
单词&词组
cranky [5krANki] adj.古怪的
temperamental [7tempErE5mentl] adj.易激动的，喜怒无常的
coach [kEutF] n.教练，旅客车厢
gym [dVim] n.体育馆，健身房
plaque [plB:k] n.饰板，匾
softball [5sRftbC:l] n.垒球
disclaimer [dis5kleimE(r)] n.放弃；拒绝；不承诺
turbulence [5t\:bjJlEns] n.（空气、水等的）紊流，湍流；动乱，骚乱，波动
bump [bQmp] v.碰撞，猛撞
subside [sEb5said] v.下降，下陷，减弱，平息下来
parent-teacher meeting 家长会
知道不知道
想想你家里最老的东西是什么呢？是一张旧照片，一枚铜钱，还是老家后院里的那棵柿子树？你知道吗，现在还活着的，最古老的树可能要属于长在美国的狐尾松（foxtail pine）了，它们有的已经有4000多岁了呢。它们生长在美国西部的干燥高山上，因为松果上的鳞片长得像狐尾而得此名。