到那站时，请告诉我
Sleeping pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor，who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills，slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office，strolled in and said to his boss：“I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning.”
“That's fine，” roared the boss，“but where were you Monday and Tuesday？”
安眠药
鲍勃晚上总失眠。他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。
星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，闹钟还没响他就醒了。他到了办公室，慢慢遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床很顺利。”
“很好!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？”
Is he really ill？
On a hot summer day an elderly gentleman faints in the street. A small crowd immediately gathers around him.
“Give the poor man a glass of brandy，” advises a woman.
“Give him a heart massage，” says someone else.
“No，just give him some brandy，” insists the woman.
“Call an ambulance，”yells another person.
“A brandy!”
The man suddenly sits up and exclaims. “Shut up，everybody，and do as the kind lady says!”
他是真的病了吗？
在一个炎热的夏天，一位上了年纪的男子昏倒在街头。人们立刻围了上去。
“给这个可怜的人一杯白兰地吧。” 一位女士建议道。
“给他一点治心脏病的药。” 另外一个人说。
“不，还是给他一些白兰地。”那位女士坚持说。
“叫辆救护车吧。” 有人叫道。
“一杯白兰地！”
这时，那个人突然坐起来嚷道，“都闭嘴，就照那位好心的太太说得去做！”
Tell me when we get there
“Is this stop Bloomington？” an old lady asked the busdriver．
“No，ma'am，” the driver replied．
“Well，please tell me when we get there，” she requested．
“I'll do that，” promised the driver．
Later，the driver got careless and passed through Bloomington before he realized it. He apologized to the other passengers，turned around，and drove back. Then he said to the old lady：“This is the town where you wanted to get out．”“Who wanted to get out？” she asked．
The driver said，“You did．”
“No，”she said，“my daughter told me that when I pass through this town，I should take my pills．”
到那站时，请告诉我
有个老妇人问公共汽车司机：“这站是布鲁明登吗？”
司机回答：“不是的，太太。”
“那么，我们到那站时，请告诉我。”她说。
“我会的。”司机保证说。
后来，司机不小心忘了这件事，等他想起来的时候，汽车已经开过了布鲁明登。他向其他乘客道歉，掉转车头，开了回去。然后他对老妇人说：“这就是你要下车的那个城镇。”“谁要下车？”她问。
司机说：“你啊。”
“不。”她说：“我女儿跟我说，当我经过这个城镇时，我就该吃药了。”
Open-book exam
On the day of our final exam at my Community College in Santa Maria，Calif.，we heard that the bookstore had changed its policy and would buy back our business-management textbooks. Before class，several of us dashed over to the store and sold our books. We were seated and waiting for the test when our professor announced that considering the difficulty of the final，it would be an open-book exam.
开卷考试
我在加利福尼亚的圣玛丽亚市一所社区大学读书时，有一次期末考试，我们听说书店在回购我们的工商管理课本。于是，我们几个赶忙跑到书店把书卖了，随后，我们坐在教室里等着考试。这时教授宣布：考虑到期末考试的难度，今天我们决定开卷考试。
单词&词组
prescribe [pris5kraib] v.指示，规定，开药方
stroll [strEul] v.闲逛，四处流浪
faint [feint] adj.晕倒
exclaim [iks5kleim] v.呼喊，惊叫
pass through 经过，痛快
知道不知道
open-book exam，开卷考试，闭卷考试就是close-book，还有的考试允许考生带笔记，那就是open-note。
可想而知，这几个卖了书的家伙恐怕要考砸了。I bombed the test.我考砸了。bomb 的意思是轰炸，在口语中指的是“把什么东西搞砸了”。同样，要是约会时发挥失常，也可以说I bombed on the date.
第一章 You can always tell which way the wind is blowing
你总能分清风是从哪边吹过来的
Good points and bad points
“This house，” said the real-estate salesman，“has both its good points and bad points. To show you I'm honest，I'm going to tell you about the disadvantage - there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse one block north.”
“What are the advantages？” inquired the prospective buyer.
“The good thing about it，” said the agent，“is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing.”
优缺点
“这幢房子，”房地产推销商说，“既有优点也有缺点。为了显示我的诚意，我会告诉你它的缺点。 往南面一个街区是一家化工厂，往北面一个街区是一家屠宰场。”
“那么它的优点呢？”准备买房子的人问道。
代理商说道，“它的好处就是，你总能分清风是从哪边吹过来的。”
To buy a hat
A lady went to a hat shop to buy a hat. As she was very fussy，it took her a long time to pick out one. Already at the end of his patience the salesman was afraid that she might change her mind again so he tried to flatter her：“An excellent choice，madam. You look at least ten years younger with this hat on!”
To his dismay，the lady took off her hat at once and said：“I don't want a hat that makes me look ten years older as soon as I take it off. Show me some more hats!”
买帽子
一位女士到一家帽子店买帽子。她很挑剔，用了很长时间才选好一顶。已到忍耐极限的售货员害怕她再改变主意，赶紧恭维她：“夫人，您的选择真明智。您戴上这顶帽子看上去起码年轻十岁！”
但令他沮丧的是，这位女士马上摘下了帽子说：“我不想要一顶摘下来便立刻让我显得老十岁的帽子。多拿些帽子给我看看！”
Monkey business