Displaying a lack of consistency when punishing makes you directly accountable for for your children’s misdeeds and will not teach them how to be liable for their exploits.
It’s also necessary that each partner is consistent with the discipline. If one parent is firm and the other is too forgiving, the son or daughter will key into that and attempt to manipulate the position to his or her advantage. Parents must be in agreement on disciplinary code beforehand and make a commitment to each other to be consistent in carrying out and following through with the consequences. This can be especially difficult if the child’s parents are divorced or separated. Though you are not living together, it’s crucial that both parents have a united ground. Openly and honestly agree these parameters with your former spouse and your son or daughter in advance, so that if any disciplinary action is called for, the effect of such misdeeds are fully realized in advance.
Any disagreements between parents should bedebated when the child is not present.
Being consistent refers to being resolute, even when doing so is really demanding or gruelling. It can sometimes be difficult to arrive home after a long day at work only to find a challenging evening of parenting in store for you.
Your son or daughter will consistently probe the parameters and “push the envelope” with you to see if there’s any play in those consequences. By being resolute you are establishing there is not and that you demand them to do nothing less than assume the burden for their deeds.
当你因自己的儿子或女儿做了错事而惩罚他们时,坚定是至关重要的。它能预防小错变大。但是你一定要保持坚定,即当你对他们说:“现在,关了你的电脑。”或者“因为你没碰你的晚餐,你饭后不许吃甜点。”
坚定的教育之道会让你的儿子或女儿知道,在他们做了错事,做了不适当的举止或不令人满意的行为之后,你会立刻有相应的反应。
如果你教育时缺乏坚定的态度,你要直接为你孩子的错误行为负责,你也无法教会他们如何为自己的行为负责。
父母对规矩的态度保持一致也是十分必要的。如果父母中的一位很坚定而另一个太过宽容,儿子或女儿会钻此空子并试图利用这种优势加以操纵。父母必须事先对规矩达成一致,并相互承诺在实行时也步调相同,将相应的惩治结果实行到底。这实施起来对于离异的父母而言尤其困难。虽然你们不住在一起,但是父母间口径一致是十分关键的。事先就此直接并诚实地与你的前人配偶达成一致,并告知你们的儿子或女儿,一旦他们做了破坏规矩的行为,惩治的效果就能充分实现。
父母间任何的意见相左必须在孩子不在场时加以讨论。
坚定意味着要有决心,即使如此做需要很多心力,十分繁重。有时这真的很困难:劳累了一天回到家中,发现在家中,等待着你的是挑战——一晚上你都要去教育自己的孩子。
你的儿子或女儿会不停的探视惩罚的界限,想从你这里知道与此有关的事项,来看看做了这些事会有什么结果。有坚定的决心,你会让他们知道你并没有特别要求他们什么,只想让他们知道他们要为自己的行为负责。
Tactics for Job-hunt Success找到理想的工作
If you’re finding it tough to land a job, try expanding your job-hunting plan to include the following tactics:
Set your target. While you should always keep your options open to compromise, you should also be sure to target exactly what you want in a job. A specific job hunt will be more efficient than a haphazard one.
Schedule ample interviews. Use every possible method to get interviews-answering ads, using search firms, contacting companies directly, surfing the Web, and networking. Even if a job is not perfect for you, every interview can be approached as a positive experience.
Follow up! Even if someone does not hire you, write them a thank-you note for the interview. Then, some weeks later, send another brief letter to explain that you still have not found the perfect position and that you will be available to interview again if the original position you applied for—or any other position, for that matter—is open. Do this with every position you interview for, and you may just catch a break.
Make it your full-time job.You can’t find a job by looking sporadically. You have to make time for it. If you’re unemployed and looking, devote as much time as you would to a full-time job. If you have a job while you’re looking, figure out an organized schedule to maximize your searching time.
Network vertically. In the research phase of your job hunt, talk to people who are on a level above you in your desired industry. They’ll have some insights that people at your own level won’t have, and will be in a good position to hire you or recommend you to be hired. Keep your spirits up. Looking for a job is one of the toughest things you will ever have to do. Maintain your confidence, stay persistent, and think positively, and eventually you will get a job that suits you.
如果你觉得找工作是件棘手的事情,不妨扩展你找工作的计划,纳入以下策略:
定下目标。尽管你应该永远给你的选择留有妥协余地,你也应确切知道你到底想从某份工作中获取什么。明确具体地寻找工作要比漫无目的地碰机会有效得多。
安排尽可能多的面谈。尽量利用一切办法去争取面试机会——回复招聘广告,求助搜寻公司,直接与公司联系,网上搜寻,利用各种关系网,等等。即便某份工作对你不是最为理想的,但每次面谈都可以是一次有积极作用的经历。
继续努力!即便人家没有雇用你,给他们写张感谢卡,对给你安排了一次面试机会表示感谢。数周之后,如果你申请的原职位——或与此相关的其他职位——尚无人选落实,你不妨再寄去一封简短的信说你还未找到理想的职位,如有机会再面试一次将随叫随到。你每次应聘面试求职都应这样,没准儿你就会抓住一个机会。
将找工作视为全职工作。你偶然随便地找,不可能找到一份理想的工作,你必须去花时间找。如果你失业了想再找份新工作,尽可能多地付出时间就像你在全职工作一样。如果你有工作,但还想找新的机会,制定一个有序的计划尽可能多地安排出时间去搜寻。
纵向发展关系。在找工作的研究阶段,找机会去和你渴望进入的行业中比你高一层次的人物交谈。他们会有你这层次人物所不具备的视野,会有能力雇用你或将你推荐给其他雇主。心情愉快,充满希望。找工作是你必须做的最为棘手的事情之一。保持信心,坚持不懈,态度乐观,最终你会找到适合你的工作的。
Relish the Moment津津有味的时刻