书城外语淡定的人生不寂寞
1461200000017

第17章 我们为什么不快乐 (3)

Oh, yeah, the corn crop? For that one blistering summer, the ground moisture was just right, planting early allowed pollination before heat withered the tops, and the lack of rain spared the standing corn from floods. That winter my crib overflowed with corn; fat, healthy three-to-a-stalk ears filled with kernels from heel to tip; while my neighbors’fields yielded only brown, empty husks.

Although plantings past may have fallen below the 50-percent expectation, and they probably will again in the future, I am still sustained by the crop that flourishes during the drought.

我信奉生活半对半的理论。一半美好,另一半则会糟糕。我觉得,生活就像钟摆一样会来回晃动,我们需要时间和阅历才能懂得它的常态。也正是这样,我懂得了如何处变不惊地面对未来的一切。

让我们以这些参数为基点来思考:是的,我注定会死去。我已经历了如此多的死亡:父母、好友、受人爱戴的老板,还有心爱的宠物。这些死亡当中,有些突如其来,直击眼前;有些却是缓慢地折磨着,令人苦不堪言。而且,这些糟糕的事隐藏在心底最深处。

当然,生活中也有这样辉煌的时候:与心爱的人坠入爱河并喜结良缘;养育孩子,做些父亲该做的事,如训练儿子的棒球队;当儿子带着狗在小溪里游泳时,自己在一旁荡桨泛舟,我发现他的同情心是如此强烈——对蜗牛也表现出友爱;他的想象力是如此活跃——即使是一堆零散的积木,他也能造出太空飞船来。

然而,人生中有一片辽阔的草地,各种好事坏事都在那里戏剧般地颠倒沉浮。这使我确信了生活半对半的理论。

有一年春天,我过早种下了玉米,那里地势低洼,容易被洪水淹没。因此,我受到邻居们的嘲笑,也为自己白白浪费的努力而懊恼不已。那年夏天异常酷热——我生命中最可怕的热浪和干旱降临,生活如同我所讨厌的一首乡村歌曲所描绘的情节。空调坏了,水井干涸了,婚姻结束了,工作丢了,钱也没了。而唯一使我精神振奋的,是一支人气攀升的堪萨斯皇家棒球队,它将首次出征世界大赛。

回想那个可怕的夏天,我明白了,祸福相依,不顺心的事情总会过去。我要拥有和享受宁静的时光,它使我振作起来,要敢于面对突如其来的意外事件,并激励我再度辉煌。最近,我的皇家棒球队陷入低迷状态,半对半理论让我看到了希望:在一个领域里,只要你辛勤耕耘,几年后,就可以收获金秋十月。

哦,对了,玉米的收成?因为那个酷暑,地上的湿度恰到好处,种植较早使得授粉期避开了酷热当头,而稀少的雨水使挺立的玉米免受洪水之灾。那年冬天,玉米堆满了我的谷仓——每株玉米秆上结了三个硕大饱满的玉米棒,每一个棒子都长满了玉米粒——邻居们的地里只有褐色干瘪的玉米叶。

尽管以前种玉米总没什么收成,将来可能还会如此,但我仍要继续种下去,因为这些经历了旱季依然能丰收的玉米大大鼓舞了我。

记忆填空

1. I believe life is a pendulum swing. It takes _______ and experience to understand _______ normal is, and that _______ me the perspective to deal with the surprises of the _______ .

2. Worse than normal wouldn’t last_______ . I am owed and savor the halcyon _______. They reinvigorate me for the next nasty surprise and offer assurance that I can thrive. The 50-percent_______ even helps me see hope beyond my Royals’recent slump, a field of struggling rookies sown so _______ some year soon we can reap an October harvest.

佳句翻译

1. 人生中有一片辽阔的草地,各种好事坏事都在那里戏剧般地颠倒沉浮。

2. 回想那个可怕的夏天,我明白了,祸福相依,不顺心的事情总会过去。

3. 经历了旱季依然能丰收的玉米大大鼓舞了我。

短语应用

2. I’ve dealt with the deaths of both parents, a best friend, a beloved boss and cherished pets.

deal with:涉及;处理;做生意

1. Bad stuff, and it belongs at the bottom of the scale.

at the bottom of:在……的底部

快乐由你决定

A Simple Truth About Happiness

佚名 / Anonymous

I was not a particularly happy child, and like most teenagers, I reveled in my angst. One day, however, it occurred to me that I was taking the easy way out. Anyone could be unhappy; it took no courage or effort. True challenge lay in struggling to be happy.

The notion that we have to work at happiness comes as news to many people. We assume it’s a feeling that comes as a result of good things that just happen to us, things over which we have little or no control.

But the opposite is true: happiness is largely under our control. It is a battle to be waged and not a feeling to be awaited.

To achieve a happier life, it’s necessary to overcome some stumbling blocks, three of which are:

Comparison with Others

Most of us compare ourselves with anyone we think is happier—a relative, an acquaintance or, often, someone we barely know. I once met a young man who struck me as particularly successful and happy. He spoke of his love for his beautiful wife and their daughters, and of his joy at being a radio talk-show host in a city he loved. I remember thinking he was one of those lucky few for whom everything goes effortlessly right.

Then we started talking about the Internet. He blessed its existence, he told me, because he could look up information on multiple sclerosis —the terrible disease afflicting his wife. I felt like a fool for assuming nothing unhappy existed in his life.

Images of Perfection

Almost any of us have images of how life should be. The problem, of course, is that only rarely do people’s jobs, spouses and children live up to these imagined ideals.

Here’s a personal example: No one in my family had ever divorced. I assumed that marriage was for life. So when my wife and I divorced three years after the birth of our son, my world caved in. I was a failure in my own eyes.

I later remarried but confided to my wife, Fran that I couldn’t shake the feeling that my family life had failed. She asked me what was wrong with our family now (which included her daughter from a previous marriage and my son). I had to admit that, aside from the pain of being with my son only half the time (my ex-wife and I shared custody), our family life was wonderful.

“Then why don’t you celebrate it?” She asked.

That’s what I decided to do. But first I had to get rid of the image of a “perfect” family.

“Missing Tile” Syndrome

One effective way of sabotaging happiness is to look at something and be fixated on even the smallest flaw. It’s like looking up at a filed ceiling and concentrating on the space where one tile is missing. As a bald man told me, “Whenever I enter a room, all I see is hair.”

I’ve spent years studying happiness, and one of the most significant conclusions I’ve drawn is this: there is little correlation between the circumstances of people’s lives and how happy they are. A moment’s reflection should make this obvious. We all know people who have had a relatively easy life yet are essentially unhappy. And we know people who have suffered a great deal but generally remain happy.