I offer a prayer for her and me and all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this holiest of callings.
You Will Never Regret It
Time is running out for my friend. While we are sitting at lunch she casuallycasually adv.偶然地, 随便地, 临时地 mentions she and her husband are thinking of starting a family. “Were taking a survey,”she says, halfjoking. “Do you think I should have a baby?”
为她、为自己、也为每位艰难跋涉、担当母亲这一最为神圣职业的平凡女性献上深深的祈祷。
母亲决不会后悔
时光如梭,朋友已成家立业。当我们一起聚餐的时候,她随意地提及她和她的丈夫正想要小孩。 “我们正在做项调查,”她半开玩笑地说,“你认为我该要个小孩吗?”
“It will change your life,” I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. “I know,”she says, “no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneousspontaneous adj.自发的, 自然产生的 holidays…”
But thats not what I mean at all. I look at my friend, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will be vulnerablevulnerable adj.易受攻击的, 易受……的攻击 forever.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without thinking: “What if that had been MY child?” That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.
“这将会改变你的生活。”我认真地并且客观地说道。“这我知道,”她回答,“周末没有懒觉睡了,不再有随心所欲的假日了……”
但我想说的并不是这些。我看着朋友,试着整理自己的思绪决定告诉她。我想让她知道她在分娩课上无法学到的东西。我想告诉她:分娩的有形伤疤可以治愈,但是做母亲的情感伤痕却是久新的,她会为此而变得脆弱。
我想告诫她:成为母亲后,她读报时就会不由自主地想:“要是那发生在我孩子身上后果将怎样啊!”每一次飞机失事、每一场房屋失火都会让她心神不定。当她看着那些忍饥挨饿的孩子们的照片时,她会想到:世上还有什么比眼看着自己的孩子饿死更惨的事情呢?
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylishstylish adj.时髦的, 漂亮的, 流行的 suit and think that no matter how sophisticatedsophisticated adj.诡辩的, 久经世故的 she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitiveprimitive adj.原始的;粗糙的 level of a bear protecting her cub.
I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailedderail vt.出轨, 脱轨 by motherhoodmotherhood n.母性, 为母之道, 母亲身份.
She might arrange for child care, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting, and she will think her babys sweet smell.
She will have to use every ounce of disciplinediscipline n.纪律 to keep from running home, just to make sure her child is all right.
我仔细看着她修剪的指甲和时髦的衣服,心想着:不管她装扮多么讲究,只要做了母亲,她就会变得像保护幼崽的母熊那样原始而不修边幅。
我觉得自己该告诫她,无论在工作上她投入了多少年,做了母亲后,工作就会脱轨。
她可以安排别人看管孩子,但说不准有天她要去参加一个重要的商务会议,却不禁想起宝宝的甜蜜乳香。
她必须克制自己,才不至于为了确保孩子是否安然无恙而中途赶回家。
I want my friend to know that every decision will no longer be routine. That a fiveyearold boys desire to go to the mens room rather than the womens at a restaurant will become a major dilemma. The issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in the lavatory. However decisive she may be at the office, she will secondguess herself constantly as a mother.
Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the added weight of pregnancypregnancy n.怀孕, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her own life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. She would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years—not to accomplish her own dreams—but to watch her children accomplish theirs.
我想让朋友知道,成为母亲后,她再也不能照惯例办事。在餐馆,五岁的儿子想进男厕而不愿进女厕成为一大难题:是尊重孩子的独立和性别意识,还是让他进男厕冒着被儿童性骚扰者侵害潜在危险?两者之间就要权衡,不管在办公室她多么果敢,身为母亲,她仍常常事后为自己当初的决定而后悔。
我看着这位迷人的朋友,我想确切地让她知道,她终会恢复到怀孕前的体重,但是她那时的感觉就会完全不同。她现在看得如此重要的生命在孩子的到来之后而变得不再那么宝贵。为了救孩子,她愿意随时献出自己的生命。但她也开始想活得更长,倒不是为了实现自己的梦想,而是为了看着她的孩子都能梦想成真。
I want to describe to my friend the exhilarationexhilaration n.令人高兴, 愉快 of seeing your child learn to hit a ball. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it hurts.
My friends look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. “Youll never regret it,” I say finally. Then, squeezing my friends hand, I offer a prayer for her and me and all of the mere mortal women who stumblestumble v.绊倒, 使困惑, 蹒跚, 结结巴巴地说话 their way into this holiest of callings.
我想为朋友描述看到孩子学会击中球时的兴奋之情。我想让她捕获宝宝第一次用手摸狗的绒毛时的捧腹大笑的情景。我想让她品尝快乐,虽然它真实得让人心痛。
朋友的神情让我意识到自己的眼中已是噙满泪水。“你决不会后悔,”我最后说。然后我紧握住朋友的手,为她、为自己、也为每位艰难跋涉、担当母亲这一最为神圣职业的平凡女性献上深深的祈祷。
这是一位母亲的心声:做母亲是人生的重要转折,从此,重心就会转移到孩子的身上,孩子的一点一滴、一颦一笑都牵动着母亲的心,孩子的幸福快乐成为母亲幸福快乐的源泉。让我们也同样为母亲们献上祈祷。