Two Crosseyed Men
Two cross eyed men were riding down Pennsylvania avenueavenue n.林阴道，大街and ran into one another．“Why the devil don’t you look where you are going？”said the first．“Why the devil don’t you go where you are looking？”replied the other．两个斜眼的人
两个斜眼的人骑马走在宾夕法尼亚大街上，正好撞上了。
一个说：“你怎么不朝你走的方向看？”
一个答道：“你怎么不朝你看的方向走？”
Stealing a Rope
A man once was punished and paradedparade through the streets before the public for stealing.One of his friends caught a glimpse of him and came up to him.
“What‘s the matter with you？”asked thefriend.
“Oh，bad luck！The day before yesterdaywhile I was walking about in the street，I saw a rope on the ground.”said theman.“I thought that the rope might be useful sometime in the future，so I picked it up and brought it home.”
“Why did they punish you so severelyseverely for such a petty thing？”said the friend.
“Because I didn’t see that there was acow at the other end of the rope.”answered the man.
偷绳
从前，一个人因偷盗被罚游街示众。在大街上，他的一个朋友看见了，走上前问：“这是怎么一回事？”
那人说：“唉，倒霉！前天我在街上闲逛时，看见地上有一根绳子。我想那条绳子日后也许有用处，便顺手将它拾回家去。”
朋友说：“这点小事，为何处罚你这么重？”
那人回答说：“因为我没有看见绳子那头还拴着一头牛。”
Reading Faces
A fool once walked along the streets and met a fortune teller.
The fortune teller was soliciting for business at the street corner.“If a man‘s palm is as soft as cotton，he is sureto have spare cash，”he said dramaticallydramatically.“If a woman’s palm is as rough as ginger she is sure to have a lot of grain in the barn and money in the chest.Please try me for that！”
Hearing this nonsensenonsense，the fool clappedand laughed.“My wife‘s hand is as rough as ginger！”
“I don’t believe you.”said a man on purpose，who had known his ins and outs.
“Don‘t you believe me？Come and look here！”the fool said pointing to his own face.“Yesterday my wife slapped me hereon the face，even now it is still red and hot.”
看相
有一次，一个傻子在街上闲逛，遇见了一位算命先生。
算命先生正在街头招揽生意，他有声有色地念叨：“男人手如绵，身边有闲钱。妇人手如姜，财谷满仓箱。不信请来试试呵！”
傻子听了这番话，又笑又拍掌。他大声说：“我老婆的手就同姜一样啊！”
一个人知道傻子的底细，故意说：“我不信！”
傻子指着自己的脸颊说：“你不信？来看我这儿！昨日老婆打我一个嘴巴，到现在我脸上还又红又辣呢！”