He looked again，and found it was a penny postage stamp．“You’d best be getting home，”he said：“the nights are very damp.”
疯园丁之歌
刘易斯·卡罗尔
他以为他看见了一只大象，在练习吹笛子：
他再一看，发现那不过是他妻子的来信。
“我终于认识到，”他说，“生活的苦涩悲哀！”
他以为他看见了一头水牛，在壁炉架上站立：
他再一看，发现那不过是他姐夫的外甥女。
“如果你不离开这房子，”他说，“我就去叫警察来！”
他以为他看见了一条响尾蛇，用希腊语向他问话：
他再一看，发现那不过是下一周的星期三。
“让我遗憾的一件事是，”他说，“它不能开口说话！”
他以为他看见了一个银行职员正走下公共汽车。
他再一看，发现那不过是一只硕大的河马：
“如果他要留下来吃饭，”他说，“那我们就没多少吃的了！”
他以为他看见了一辆四马拉大车在他的床边停立：
他再一看，发现那不过是一只没头的大熊。
“可怜的东西，”他说，“可怜的蠢货！它在等人给它喂食！”
他以为他看见了一只信天翁围绕灯泡振翅：
他再一看，发现那不过是一张一便士的邮票。
“你最好回家去，”他说，“夜里空气非常潮湿。”
脑筋急转弯篇
Homonyms ＆Puns谐音及双关类
1.Who is closer to you，your mom or your dad？
——Mom is closer，because dad is farther．2.Can you go to the cinema with your watch broken？
——I don’t have the time.
3.Why is the comet like Micky Mouse？
——It’s a star with a tail．
Notes：
1．father 父亲，音似farther （更远）
2．I don’t have the time 有两种理解：
①我没有时间；
②我没戴表或我的表坏了，不知道时间。
3．comet n．彗星
Micky Mouse 米老鼠
tail n．（动物的）尾巴；彗（星）尾
4.What’s the largest room in the world？
——The room for improvement．
5．What’s the poorest bank in the world？
——The river bank．
6．When is coffee like the surface of the earth？
——When it’s ground．
Notes：
4.room n.房间；空间，余地
5．bank n．银行；堤岸
6．ground n．地面，它也是grind （v．磨碎，碾碎）的过去分词形式。
7.When is a person not a person？
——When he is a little cross．
8．When is a door not a door？
——When it’s ajar．
9．When are boys not boys？
——When they’re barefooted．
10．When is a clock dangerous？
——When it runs down the stairs and strikes one．Notes：
7．cross adj．烦恼，恼火；n．十字架
8．ajar adj．（门）虚掩着，露了一条缝的音似a jar（一只壶）9．barefooted 赤脚，音似bearfooted，脚和熊一样
10．strikes one 另一层意思是：击中一个人
11．Why is tennis so noisy？
——Each player raises a racket．
12.If a cabbage and a carrot raced，which one would win？
——The cabbage，because it’s always ahead．13.How many feet are there in a yard？
——It depends on how many people stand in the yard．Notes：
11．racket n．（网球等的）球拍；喧哗，喧闹
raise a racket 大吵大闹
12．cabbage n．卷心菜
carrot n．胡萝卜
a head of cabbage 一颗卷心菜
13．feet n．英尺；脚（pl．）
yard n．院子；码
14.When are people like glasses？
——When they make spectacles of themselves．15.What beam is lighter than all the other beams？
——Light beam.
16.What animal eats with its tail？
——All animals do．No one takes off its tail while eating．Notes：
14．spectacle n．眼镜
make a spectacle of oneself
使自己出丑，出洋相
15．beam n．梁；光线
16．with prep．用……做事；带着，有……
17.How can you make a slow horse fast？
——Don’t give it anything to eat for a while．18.What is heavier in summer than in winter？
——Traffic to the beach．
19.What clothing is always sad？
——Blue Jeans．
Notes：
17．fast adj．快的；v．绝食
18．heavy adj．重的；交通量大的，繁忙的
19．jeans n．牛仔衣，牛仔裤
blue adj．蓝色的；伤感的
20.How many legs do horses have？
——Six legs—forelegs in front and two in back．21.When are people smartest？
——When it’s sunny，because everything’s brighterthen．22.I have a tree in my hand．What kind of tree is it？
——It’s a palm．
Notes：
20．forelegs n．前腿，音似four legs（四条腿）21．bright adj.明亮；聪明
smart adj．聪明
22．palm n．棕榈树；手掌
23.Can you explain what is free speech？
——Your talking on someone else’s phone．24.If the green house is on the right side of the road，and the red house is on the left side of the road，where is the white house？
——In Washington，D．C．
25.What fruit is never found singly？
——A pear．
Notes：
23．free adj．自由的；免费的
24．The White House 白宫
25．pear n．梨，音似pair （n．一对）
26.Why is the bride unhappy on her wedding day？
——Because she didn’t marry the best man．27.What time must it be when the escaped hungry wolf ate the paymaster？
——8p．m．
28.What will you break once you say it？
——Silence．
Notes：
26．bride n．新娘
bridegroom n．新郎
best man 男傧相；最好的男人
bridesmaid n．女傧相
27．8p．m．音似ate p．m．，而p．m．是paymaster 的缩写。
paymaster n．（发放薪饷的）出纳员
28.break the silence 打破沉默
29.What kind of clothes lasts the longest？
——Underwear，because it’s never worn out．30.Why are farmers cruel？
——They pull corns by the ears.
31.Why are babies like hinges？
——Because they are things to adore．
Notes：
29．worn out 穿坏，磨损；穿在外面
30．ear 耳朵；一穗（玉米）
pull corns by the ears 另一种理解是“一穗一穗地掰玉米”。
31．adore v．喜欢，宠爱，音似a door
hinge n．门铰链
things to a door 门上的东西
32.If a driver drives too fast he’ll get a ticket．What will happen to a poet if he writes too fast？
——His poetic licence will be taken away．33.Why is an empty purse always the same？
——There’s no change in it．
34.Why do little birds in the nest agree with each other？
——Because they would fall out if they didn’t．Notes：
32．poetic licence 诗的破格（如不遵从语法规则等）33．change n．零钱；变化
34．fall out 摔出去；争吵
35.Why is an argument like a pen？
——No good without a point．
36.When will the wind improve its image？
——When it turns over a new leaf．
37.Why is learning English like a light gentle wind to a smart student？
——It’s a breeze to them．
Notes：
35．argument n．论据，说理
point n．尖，顶端；论点，要点
36．turn over a new leaf 真正的含义是：改过自新37．breeze n.微风，和风；轻而易举的事
38.What has four wheels and flies？
——A garbage truck．
39.What’s even harder to catch if you run faster？
——Your breath．
40.What time is it when a man is chased by ten dogs？
——It’s ten after one．
41.How can you tell a clock is shy？
——It has its hands over its face.
Notes：
38．what has four wheels and flies？另一种理解是：什么东西既有四个轮子又有许多
苍蝇？
39．catch one’s breath 恢复正常呼吸（尤指剧烈运动后）
42.Why does time fly？
——To get away from all those who are trying to kill it．43.Why does an invisible man tend to go crazy？
——Out of sight，out of mind．
44.Where can a dog get another tail？
——At a retail store．
45.What bow can never be tied？
——A rainbow．
Notes：
42．kill time 消磨时间
43．Out of sight，out of mind 眼不见为净44．前缀re表示“再一次”，“又……”。
46.Why do carpenters think there’s no such thing as gold in this world？
——They never saw it．
47.Why do you think doctors are mean？
——Every time they treat me they make me pay forit．
48.What do you think of the Grand Canyon？
——Just gorges.
Notes：
46．saw n．锯，也是see（看见）的过去式。英文中讲seeing is believing（眼见为实）。
47．treat v．请客；治疗，处理
mean adj．小气，吝啬
48．gorges 是gorge（峡谷）的复数形式，音似gorgeous （adj．宜人的，好的，美丽的）Just gorgeous！太棒了！太美了！
49.How do you punctuate the following sentence？
I saw a 100bill on the ground.
——Make a dash after it.
50.How do you know a photographer is always progressive？
——They are always developing．
51.What roof never keeps out the wet？
——The roof of the mouth．
Notes：
49．make a dash after it 另一种理解是：冲上去拿呀punctuate v.加标点
50．develop v．发展；冲（胶卷）
51．roof n．屋顶；上颚
52.Does any child like going to school？
——Every child likes going to school．Most of them just hate staying there before going home．53.Why is a peacock the best storyteller？
——Because it always has a beautiful tale．54.Why is a crazy person equal to two ordinary people？
——Because he is a man beside himself．
Notes：
52．go to school 有两种理解：
①在学校读书，上学
②去学校，上学校
53．tale n．故事，音似tail（尾巴）
54．beside oneself 真正的意思是：发狂，忘形。
55.What coat is always wet when it’s put on？