“When I was eight years old and was spending a weekend visiting my Aunt Libby Linsley at her home in Stratford on the Housatonic，”he wrote in his essay on Human Nature，“a middle-aged man called one evening，and after a polite skirmish with my aunt，he devoted his attention to me.At that time，I happened to be excited about boats，and the visitor discussed the subject in a way that seemed to me particularly interesting.After he left，I spoke of him with enthusiasm.What a man！My aunt informed me he was a New York lawyer，that he cared nothing whatever about boats—that he took not the slightest interest in the subject.‘But why then did he talk all the time about boats？’
“‘Because he is a gentleman.He saw you were interested in boats，and he talked about the things he knew would interest and please you.He made himself agreeable.’”
And William Lyon Phelps added：“I never forgot my aunt’s remark.”
As I write this chapter，I have before me a letter from EdwardL.Chalif，who was active in Boy Scout work.
“One day I found I needed a favor，”wrote Mr.Chalif.“A big Scout jamboree was coming off in Europe，and I wanted the president of one of the largest corporations in America to pay the expenses of one of my boys for the trip.
“Fortunately，just before I went to see this man，I heard that he had drawn a check for a million dollars，and that after it was canceled，he had had it framed.
“So the first thing I did when I entered his office was to ask to see the check.A check for a million dollars！I told him I never knew that anybody had ever written such a check，and that I wanted to tell my boys that I had actually seen a check for a million dollars.He gladly showed it to me；I admired it and asked him to tell me all about how it happened to be drawn.”
You notice，don’t you，that Mr.Chalif didn’t begin by talking about the Boy Scouts，or the jamboree in Europe，or what it was he wanted？He talked in terms of what interested the other man.Here’s the result：
“Presently，the man I was interviewing said：‘Oh，by the way，what was it you wanted to see me about？’So I told him.“To my vast surprise，”Mr.Chalif continues，“he not only granted immediately what I asked for，but much more.I had asked him to send only one boy to Europe，but he sent five boys and myself，gave me a letter of credit for a thousand dollars and told us to stay in Europe for seven weeks.He also gave me letters of introduction to his branch presidents，putting them at our service，and he himself met us in Paris and showed us the town.
The Completed Success Plan of Dale Carnegie
Since then，he has given jobs to some of the boys whose parents were in want，and he is still active in our group.
“Yet I know if I hadn’t found out what he was interested in，and got him warmed up first，I wouldn’t have found him one-tenth as easy to approach.”
Is this a valuable technique to use in business？Is it？Let’s see，Take Henry G.Duvernoy of Duvemoy and Sons，a wholesale baking firm in New York.Mr.Duvernoy had been trying to sell bread to a certain New York hotel.He had called on the manager every week for four years.He went to the same social affairs the manager attended.He even took rooms in the hotel and lived there in order to get the business.But he failed.
“Then，”said Mr.Duvernoy，“after studying human relations，I resolved to change my tactics.I decided to find out what interested this man—what caught his enthusiasm.
“I discovered he belonged to a society of hotel executives called the Hotel Greeters of America.He not only belonged，but his bubbling enthusiasm had made him president of the organization，and president of the International Greeters.No matter where its conventions were held，he would be there.
“So when I saw him the next day，I began talking about the Greeters.What a response I got.What a response！He talked to me for half an hour about the Greeters，his tones vibrant with enthusiasm.I could plainly see that this society was not only his hobby，it was the passion of his life.Before I left his office，he had ‘sold’me a membership in his organization.
“In the meantime，I had said nothing about bread.But a few days later，the steward of his hotel phoned me to come over with samples and prices.
“‘I don’t know what you did to the old boy，’the steward greeted me，‘but he sure is sold on you！’
“Think of it！I had been drumming at that man for four years—trying to get his business—and I’d still be drumming at him if I hadn’t finally taken the trouble to find out what he was interested in，and what he enjoyed talking about.”
PRINCIPLE 5：
Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
Chapter 9
How to Make People Like You Instantly
I was waiting in line to register a letter in the post office at Thirty-third Street and Eighth Avenue in New York.I noticed that the clerk appeared to be bored with the job—weighing envelopes，handing out stamps，making change，issuing receipts—the same monotonous grind year after year.So I said to myself：“I am going to try to make that clerk like me.Obviously，to make him like me，I must say something nice，not about myself，but about him.So I asked myself，‘What is there about him that I can honestly admire？’”That is sometimes a hard question to answer，especially with strangers；but，in this case，it happened to be easy.I instantly saw something I admired no end.
So while he was weighing my envelope，I remarked with enthusiasm：“I certainly wish I had your head of hair.”
He looked up，half-startled，his face beaming with smiles.“Well，it isn’t as good as it used to be，”he said modestly.I assured him that although it might have lost some of its pristine glory，nevertheless it was still magnificent.He was immensely pleased.We carried on a pleasant little conversation and the last thing he said to me was：“Many people have admired my hair.”
I’ll bet that person went out to lunch that day walking on air.I’ll bet he went home that night and told his wife about it.I’ll bet he looked in the mirror and said：“It is a beautiful head of hair.”